Hello, I am confused and a bit overwhelmed which is causing a mild paralysis with decision making. I finished my 40 day meditation program and it was great. I have been trying to make my own meditation program like the site suggests but each time I get overwhelmed and revert back to what I was doing before. It doesn't feel like I am doing enough because I know I am capable of more but without the use of more direction the overwhelm starts creeping in and I start feeling unsure of myself and then I start tapering off. That's where I am now.
I haven't been doing everyday like before because I currently lack direction/unsure what I am supposed to be doing, and thus "fall off the wagon" so to speak. The 40 program worked really great with calming my scattered mind and was very clear with what I needed to follow (which I am good at!) but coming up with my own program to follow is a whole other skill set that I do not have yet. I want to keep up with my meditations but I need help with developing a program to follow.
So far this is what I've been doing, its very scattered and I don't like it, this is done once a day towards evening:
Sometimes I start with Hatha yoga and Kundalini yoga (from the 40 day program), or I do it at the end of meditations. (I was experimenting to do before or after but I don't like how directionless it is and I feel a deep sense of confusion). I do the following once a day but prefer to do it 2 times a day, modified though. Having distinctive AM and PM routines.
1) Aura Cleansing
***(I really think I need to do a full aura cleanse. I have my rosary but do not know how to use it with the mantra either SUYRA or RAUM, do I say the mantra for each bead- 108 times? Am I supposed to breath in, hold, then breathe out for each bead? If so, when would I say the mantra? How many days would I do the Full Aura Cleanse? I am VERY confused here and am desperate to start using it, but I am so fearful of doing it wrong and making thing worse for myself).
2) Aura of Protection (5 times)
***I would like to incorporate another mantra for emotional regulation and am not sure if I should replace the say, add on, or a seperate one.
3) Void meditation (3 minutes)
4) Yogic Breathing (8 breaths)
5) EZ Chakra Spin ****I would like to start doing the
Chakra Alignment so I can get to
Wings of the Soul ****
6) Hatha and Kundalini yoga
7) I also do now a short emotional regulation add on to help relax my nervous system from the day (2-5min of journaling and a visulization