Made mistakes in a relationship i asked satan for

[Shadoweagle4039]

Tldr at bottom
Hi. So, about 4 years ago. I did a ritual asking satan for a sexual partner. I got a partner shortly after that then became My girlfriend. We were very very happy together. I had a lot going for me. Gym, money, doing good. Months pass. I then start relapsing with drugs and alcohol. Long story short, we have horrible fights, extremely toxic to the point of it getting physical. Thru the last 3 years, it's been breaking up, getting back together, sleeping together, horrible breakup, rinse and repeat. Had drunken arguments with her family. When I would drink I would watch porn or be flirtatious.
In turn sye would get jealous and tell me she flirting with someone else. I believed her and I actually slept with someone. She found out and says she was lying and NEVER slept with anyone! So I did the bad thing again!
Finally broke up for good in December 2024, sex until March. Then months past. End of May, I do another ritual asking for someone to sex with, wanting her. She messages me the next day and we spend 4 weekends together. There was off moments but we had fun. Energy felt good and sex was good.
That made me believe it could work out.
So I began a love spell, and a healing spell to heal our relationship. But she told me this last weekend, 2 weeks into the spell, that she isn't interested in me. She doesn't have the same feelings anymore, and she doesn't see us getting back together. I felt very confused.
The truth is, I feel like i really messed up a lot, and yea she did too but when I look back to all the major bad events, it was me. It's like I just triggered her with my problems. Fast forward to now, I've managed to switch my life around w help from the gods, and I have a career and made many changes within myself.

I just feel confused. She came to me as a result of magick. She always supported me. I messed up the relationship. Trauma between us. I'm doing magick again to save it or make it work, but she's saying it's toolate. I feel like all of this is part of my path and I'm being punished karmically for what I've put her through. But do I really have to lose her for the rest of my life - and eventually to someone else?
What do I do, what do I believe?

 

[WrathOfKouros]

The best thing you can do if you haven't already is get sober and start improving yourself immediately. It sounds like you should move on if your recent attempts at love spells have not worked out. You may try again at another but for now, it sounds like she is moving on, you should accept reality, work on yourself, and improve your karma so this never happens again.

 

[Shadoweagle4039]

Yea that's where I'm already at. Been sober been doing good again.
It's weird because it's like my spells are half working.
She would manifest in my life, but she said she just didn't feel the same and wants to move on.
It's just hard for me to see that it's beyond saving

 

[AFODO]

It's better to move on, and find someone else.

 

[Aquarius]

You ruined a relationship with alcholism, no wonder she has no feelings for you anymore.

 

[serpentwalker666]

You need to fucking pull yourself together. What in the world.. ?

You are destroying your life, not just relationships.

Focus on your advancement and get sober, these are all very concerning things, you are falling apart and your life is as well from the addiction.

Get help, and ask your Guardian Daemon and Father Zeus what to do from here, as you are in a very bad position in life and must haul out of it ASAP.

 

[Karnonnos [TG]]

The situation is here you and her messed up a bit, now you have to move on or rectify this somehow. It is good you have turned your life around in these months, but you need to make this recovery permanent and not slip back into ugly patterns of abusing substances, which, yes, likely did stress her out and cause a lot of problems.

The other issue here is that the relationship dynamic of physical fighting, tit-for-tat cheating, arguing with her family or even saying one is cheating when one isn't like she did (this is still abusive), is not healthy.

You may love this woman but is she good for you? Does she bring out something ugly inside you? Because yes, even when you may have triggered a lot of these issues by relapsing or being cruel, you did not force her to say she was cheating for example.

2 weeks is not enough after all that. The love spell on the site is basically semi-permanent or long-winded. You need to use your higher mind here and think about whether a relationship with her is actually worth pursuing, even if you can fix certain other things with magic. Drama will always occur with relationships but you cannot bring kids into that level of it.

You should also look at your Synastry with crystal clear understanding of what is going on here.