I'm a dedicated SS. I find myself thinking about suicide every night no matter what. I have problems like bipolar, erectile dysfunction, lack of self-confidence, unemployment. I found a job but I could be fired. I even have a disability report and I can pass the exam. I read about suicide but it didn't satisfy me. Please tell me why I should not commit suicide.
Well if you reached the point of sending out this message, things may be serious for you. I am sorry another SS runs into those problems.
If you commit suicide, you will never find the root cause that brings you to desire death. And this "cause" will be again present in your next life, so you will face similar problems again. But this you know already.
Going deeper, and talking by personal experience, many people suffered traumas in early life or past lives, and this brings to problems like the ones you describe. This often leads to PTSD that is a widespread mental status, causing the mind to "split" into more than one self and suppressing the true self, in order to survive to extreme situations. Most often the call for suicide comes from the inner self who feels trapped and without any hope.
I know this may sound a bit odd and strange, but if you manage to talk to yourself, through inner dialogue, and by any chance you manage to contact this suffering self of you, you can try to understand why he/she is so desperate.
It often happens those "parts" feel so lonely and not listened, that may push the desire for suicide to "terminate" the main self. Because the main self keep the inner selves buried and non accessible to conscious mind: this is a form of defense the brain uses, to keep on living; the bad feelings are discarded and the mind chooses to see you as "fragmented" to store suffering into a separate "you".
I would struggle to believe all of this if I hadn't the sound proof in myself.
Trying to contact your inner self, whatever you may find, may help to find why you have a so intense desire for suicide.
Should you ever want to talk about what you find, you can post here, even anonymously.
I don't want to be specific, but I found the reasons why those negative suicidal thoughts arise in me - from tiime to time this affects me too. By understanding, I know what life experience causes this, in the very moment the thought arises. Then I think to a possible solution, or to a reason why this is not so dramatic, or I think how to try again and eventually succeed. Normally the suicidal thought mitigates quickly. I have teached my inner self that situation is not so dramatic as "he" thinks.
You know, some selves feel trapped in a loop happening in your mind, and cannot fully discern daily life. If they pick up negative feelings similar to their loop, they may think you are in a deadly and dead-end situation , thus suicide seems the only way to escape this.
I know I have been a but complicate but... damn it works this way.
Feel free to post again if you find something new to your situation to improve.
life may be tough right but it does get better 
tozrituals.org
