AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
Greetings.
Lately I've been progressively getting into spirituality and astrology, but some things keep me confused, and i'd really want someone with experience to answer me, because I really want to continue growing, but these thoughts keep annoying me and worrying me a lot.
So my first worry, is that i've seen some features of mine that might or not seem like a jewish trait.
I'll list all the things that worry me:
Traits:
- Mixed race (from South America), probably: European, Indian, Black.
- Bigger lower lip.
- Aquiline nose (prominent bridge).
- Flat feet that cured over time.
- My front teeth go a bit over the lower, it might not be bad but still worries me.
Sicknesses (what worries me the most):
- Was diagnosed with Poland Syndrome
- About this, I just have the absense of the major pectoralis on one side, no hand problems.
- It seems this is something "sporadic", as there's nothing on my family relating to this, and it might not be genetic.
- I saw something predicting this on my natal chart.
- Was diagnosed with "autism" or "asperger's", but I really don't like how they tag people, an most of the facts won't go with me, I feel as capable as anyone.
- Had some depression episodes in the past, took anti-depressants (they had long-term effect on me sexually, also seen in my chart).
Family:
- They are christians, I got them to respect me when I got out of this religion.
- They told me there were no ethnic or religious jew ancestry.
- My parent is latin white, mother is visibly black.
- Parents got divorced.
Personal stuff:
- Some time ago, I desperately tried to get some "guidance" from Satan, I asked to know if I was a human, I saw the Sigil and began meditating, but I didn't see much effect (I didn't quite understand spirituality, and I'm still on it), some days after that, I was playing a game I usually play, I felt really depressed, I got into a state where everything just didn't matter, but just as I thought about "really bad things" and was about to go, I saw the number 666 appear just as I noticed (context: it was a death counter, I joined a lobby where people were playing, but there weren't people around), and this might sound stupid, but I felt a slight "breeze" and all my problems dissapeared instantly, followed with a warm feeling, suddenly I gained strength and my bad thoughts were gone just like that.
- I had "humanitarian" thoughts in my life, such as helping others, even sacrificing myself to a bigger cause, and people tried to get me into communism ideologies but by myself I understood all the bad things about it, even before learning about spirituality.
- I really like helping my friends, but meeting some "bad" people kinda changed me, to the point I just ended up being lonely most of the time.
- I don't know if it's a bad thing, but sometimes I see jews, trans, or even communist people, I get a "sick" feeling, and it's been happening more and more, to the point I'm worried sometime I'd get in trouble for saying something controversial in public.
- I'm usually seen as an "inventor" or "creative" person, everywhere I go I try to make the best out of it out of passion, and there's a lot of times where my works have been stolen, or even got some people against me from pure lies, let's say I didn't have the best life dealing with such stuff.
Spirituality:
- Meditation has been good for me, and I've gotten to the point I tried with colors, even though I haven't done the dedication ritual, It helps with my anxiety, and makes me feel more relaxed.
- I've tried most of the chakra openings (6th, throat, heart, solar plexus, sacral, base), and I also tried the SATANAMA mantra a lot, I didn't get bad effects except more energy and self-confidence.
- Lately I've really getting intro astrology, my first point was to "check if it was true", I've analized myself and some friends and it's been revealing so far, I really like it.
Random thought about racial mixture:
- I'm really against it, for me it's the cause of all genetic problems, sicknesses, and for the past time I've thought about nature examples, and all I see is proofs against this, such as the so called crossbreeding, it makes me sad seeing some of these creatures, just having weird health problems and a hard life over all, so it really makes me feel bad being in a place where race mixing is normal (with latinos). Also I'm sure the reason I have a mixed lip is because my mother has bigger lips (the usual racial black), although I don't know how genetic works, pretty sure everything can be explained.
So that's it, I really wouldn't like to be a jew, to the point I'll just commit suicide or do whatever it takes to not affect humanity.
Lately I haven't meditated and got to a "stop" point, because weird thoughts have been invading me from nowhere.
I'll take your thoughts and recommendations if you have any, thanks for reading.
Lately I've been progressively getting into spirituality and astrology, but some things keep me confused, and i'd really want someone with experience to answer me, because I really want to continue growing, but these thoughts keep annoying me and worrying me a lot.
So my first worry, is that i've seen some features of mine that might or not seem like a jewish trait.
I'll list all the things that worry me:
Traits:
- Mixed race (from South America), probably: European, Indian, Black.
- Bigger lower lip.
- Aquiline nose (prominent bridge).
- Flat feet that cured over time.
- My front teeth go a bit over the lower, it might not be bad but still worries me.
Sicknesses (what worries me the most):
- Was diagnosed with Poland Syndrome
- About this, I just have the absense of the major pectoralis on one side, no hand problems.
- It seems this is something "sporadic", as there's nothing on my family relating to this, and it might not be genetic.
- I saw something predicting this on my natal chart.
- Was diagnosed with "autism" or "asperger's", but I really don't like how they tag people, an most of the facts won't go with me, I feel as capable as anyone.
- Had some depression episodes in the past, took anti-depressants (they had long-term effect on me sexually, also seen in my chart).
Family:
- They are christians, I got them to respect me when I got out of this religion.
- They told me there were no ethnic or religious jew ancestry.
- My parent is latin white, mother is visibly black.
- Parents got divorced.
Personal stuff:
- Some time ago, I desperately tried to get some "guidance" from Satan, I asked to know if I was a human, I saw the Sigil and began meditating, but I didn't see much effect (I didn't quite understand spirituality, and I'm still on it), some days after that, I was playing a game I usually play, I felt really depressed, I got into a state where everything just didn't matter, but just as I thought about "really bad things" and was about to go, I saw the number 666 appear just as I noticed (context: it was a death counter, I joined a lobby where people were playing, but there weren't people around), and this might sound stupid, but I felt a slight "breeze" and all my problems dissapeared instantly, followed with a warm feeling, suddenly I gained strength and my bad thoughts were gone just like that.
- I had "humanitarian" thoughts in my life, such as helping others, even sacrificing myself to a bigger cause, and people tried to get me into communism ideologies but by myself I understood all the bad things about it, even before learning about spirituality.
- I really like helping my friends, but meeting some "bad" people kinda changed me, to the point I just ended up being lonely most of the time.
- I don't know if it's a bad thing, but sometimes I see jews, trans, or even communist people, I get a "sick" feeling, and it's been happening more and more, to the point I'm worried sometime I'd get in trouble for saying something controversial in public.
- I'm usually seen as an "inventor" or "creative" person, everywhere I go I try to make the best out of it out of passion, and there's a lot of times where my works have been stolen, or even got some people against me from pure lies, let's say I didn't have the best life dealing with such stuff.
Spirituality:
- Meditation has been good for me, and I've gotten to the point I tried with colors, even though I haven't done the dedication ritual, It helps with my anxiety, and makes me feel more relaxed.
- I've tried most of the chakra openings (6th, throat, heart, solar plexus, sacral, base), and I also tried the SATANAMA mantra a lot, I didn't get bad effects except more energy and self-confidence.
- Lately I've really getting intro astrology, my first point was to "check if it was true", I've analized myself and some friends and it's been revealing so far, I really like it.
Random thought about racial mixture:
- I'm really against it, for me it's the cause of all genetic problems, sicknesses, and for the past time I've thought about nature examples, and all I see is proofs against this, such as the so called crossbreeding, it makes me sad seeing some of these creatures, just having weird health problems and a hard life over all, so it really makes me feel bad being in a place where race mixing is normal (with latinos). Also I'm sure the reason I have a mixed lip is because my mother has bigger lips (the usual racial black), although I don't know how genetic works, pretty sure everything can be explained.
So that's it, I really wouldn't like to be a jew, to the point I'll just commit suicide or do whatever it takes to not affect humanity.
Lately I haven't meditated and got to a "stop" point, because weird thoughts have been invading me from nowhere.
I'll take your thoughts and recommendations if you have any, thanks for reading.
