Other than keep educating yourself, I can only really think to share my experience when I first started because I remember feeling a similar way. Well, to start I have been an SS going on 2 years soon. When I first stumbled across the site I dismissed it as something not worth while. But curiosity eventually brought me back...multiple times. The more I read what was on the site the more I liked it. I was still a little afraid of it but loads of questions soon followed in my mind and christianity was not answering any of them. I tried some of the minor meditations like cleaning my aura and they made me feel pretty good so I kept reading and thinking. The more I looked towards christianity at the time the more I felt disgust or sick because of the person it was making me. I soon rose over the fear of burning forever after acknowledging that there is a chance that I could have been lied to all my life. When you can rid yourself of that kind of fear your mind almost immediately becomes free to think for itself and you are more capable thinking with reason. I didn't exactly believe in Satanism at the time yet but after also reading
www.exposingchristianity.com I knew that christianity and its cohorts are a lie and in my mind that Satanism was at least an all around better way to live so I dedicated.
Immediately my life started to change as I did the meditations on a regular basis. I used to get sick all the time and had an awful time with allergies. I have not suffered from allergies, at all, and I have gotten sick very few times when I stopped meditating for a few days but even then I was hardly very sick. I was addicted to video games and TV in the worst of ways but that soon stopped after opening the crown chakra. And because of that I have started making better decisions for myself. I started working out, focusing more on school and getting a job. My social life went from nonexistent to having a second family. These are just a few examples of how my life changed just from meditation.
If meditation isn't the best part of this new life style the gods certainly are. They truly do care about their own. One day I was severely hurt on an emotional level by someone to the point where I broke down and couldn't sleep I felt like something was in my room for a while but I didn't feel threatened and I explained what was going on and then I feel asleep. I didn't see this person in school for about a week and learned that she had a sudden allergic reaction. Another instance was a couple months after starting college. My roommate slammed the door on my arm. A couple days later he had to go to the hospital because his arm was in a lot of pain because of something happening with the tissue in his arm (there was a fancy term for it).
However, all while they do some things for you they will also help you get to a point where you can do things for yourself as that is the main goal of Satanism. Occasionally when I think of how I changed for the better and grew in both body and soul it makes me so happy I tear up. It also makes me angry knowing that I was almost robbed of these feelings by the real enemy.
I can go on and on but I don't want this getting too wordy as it already appears to be so to end this I just want to say that you will find answers if you keep educating yourself and that if you do decide to dedicate, it WILL be more than what you expect.
Hail Satan
