bluestar742002
New member
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2011
- Messages
- 10
My dear fellow Satanists! I just needed to take this out, say it somehow, besides telling Father, of course. I always liked Robin, but I never expected his passing to affect me so tremendously. So much that I have even thought that the enemy is somehow using this tragedy to take me out of my meditations, distract me somehow. Well, they have not succeeded, no way. I think it is because I know in the flesh what a deep DEEP depression is; I know that feeling lonely in the middle of a crowd is a bitch, and I was suicidal too, very suicidal, until I met Father Lucifer. Yes, it is true. I don´t want to bother anyone, I just want to share this. I have no one else, except of course Father and the Demons. I am 54, I have no family, never did, really, I was always the “black sheep” to them, so my family ignoring me was always a common thing to me. I was the crazy one. Like many, I just did not fit. I left Venezuela when I was 45, took my life savings, sold my apartment, my car, everything I had, looking for an opportunity in Spain. Of course, I have Spanish nationality. After all, I always thought that jesus had saved my life because I had something very very good to be, to do, or else. Something important I had to do. Well, maybe some of you know the horrible situation we have in Venezuela, I will not go over that here. So I left. Alone, with no support but my savings. Some 100.000 Euros. Go figure. I lost it all, and don’t think I had spent it in parties or anything, it was just work and work and stupid prayers and christian rituals, go to churches walking on my knees and holding candles, how stupid could I be. The thing is, when I saw myself in Madrid, after 7 years, totally broke, jobless, little food, with no friends and no one to help, or at least to talk about my disgrace of losing everything, after all those years of struggle and pain, and realizing I did not find anything, any purpose for my life, I decided that I had no reason to go on, to fight for, to continue, and I just could not take it anymore. The so called jesus never answered, of course, it did not answer because IT NEVER EXISTED. So I called my mother, who was never really a “mother” (but she tried), but I had no place to go, and I told her that I needed to go back to Venezuela and I asked her to receive me, and she did. But I told her that I was coming back to die in Venezuela, that I already had a plan to do it and that I had no reason to go on. No kids, no dog, no cat, no money, and at least no debts. She did not believe me (the suicide I was to commit). She thought I was in drugs again. Yes, I was in drugs for about 10 years, but quit that shit when I got 32 years old. As to the drinking, I was an alcoholic for so many years I can hardly remember. My mother (87 years old now) knew that too. So she thought I was just crazy. No, I was in a very deep depression. Just like Robin. All these 54 years I fell so many times on my knees asking the fucking jesus to tell me why I was still alive, what did he want from me (sounds familiar?) what was my purpose, why did he save me from death so many times. Yes, I had survived terrible accidents, completely unharmed, diseases, mostly syndromes that no doctor could ever heal, and blah blah, I wanted to end my stupid life. So many abusers, useless husbands and the alike. My uncle tried to rape me twice, but no one believed me. The “family” said I was lying. The bastard died anyway. But wait, my message is specially for those who are terrified of Satan, well, let me tell you folks, like you, like a year ago, I started to seek a reason to continue just a little longer just because my mother is sick, she was diagnosed cancer a year ago, though she does not know about that and I thought I could not carry on my suicidal plans because after all, I did not want to hurt her, if anything, going through finding me dead. Though I warned her I was going to do it, I spoke to my doctor and all, to give my body to the school of medicine, for the students, you know? no funeral, no nothing. Well, guess what, she was given 6 months to live, and it is a year now, she has no pain, she functions very well. In my search I found Maxine, well, and because I thought, well, if there is no jesus (I had already realized that the bastard did never exist, that it had to be a lie), so in the beginning I did not follow Maxine, I really don’t know why. I guess I had also read a lot of bullshit about her on the web, but anyway I continued searching because I said, if there is no jesus, then there has to be the devil, after all, are not all those famous and rich people the illuminatti, followers of Satan? so the evil ones were the lucky ones, and I wanted to give it a try. So, if the deal is to be evil, let’s be evil, right? What did I had to lose? Like some of you, I read Lavey’s Satanic Bible and I liked it, and after that, of course I was scared because there is so much garbage and scary things on the web, I was a little confused, but somehow, and just like that, I was back into Maxine’s teachings and then I knew it. That was it. I started reading her website and it felt so good. I specially recognize her hard job, all that research, videos, sermons, references, pictures, all that stuff she has done, she is really amazing. Like the other HPs. They are all WONDERFUL. So immediately after committing my soul and life to Father Lucifer, which was like a week later, everything, and I mean literally EVERYTHING seemed different. The bliss I never felt, the energy I never felt and I swear it, never felt that, and I said once here that I’ve gone through literally every fucking religion and belief (except being a muslim or jew) never finding nothing at all. The thing is, soon I realized that HE, Lucifer, was the one who saved me for years, because I had to do this job for him now. It was HIM, not the fucking nazarene, who saved me from taking my life. Suddenly my life had meaning again, suddenly loneliness was gone, and I just can’t help thinking why Robin had to die so horribly if he really was such a great person, who gave us so much joy and laughter, why did he kill himself, I just cannot understand and it breaks my heart. I wish I could have been there to show him Father Satan and a way to escape his misery. But now he is gone. Believe me, like many of you I was afraid to pinch my finger and draw a drop of blood for the ritual, but the truth is I felt no pain at all, in fact, I pinched it twice because I could not get enough blood with the first one. Well, I know now, and I want to say to all of you who are still in doubt, something that I feel is really important. To start, I quit the fucking drinking literally the day I dedicated my soul to father, and that is something that I never thought I could do, and here I am sober for the three/four months I am with Satan. I have no desire to drink and it is wonderful. I just hate the drinking, is true. I think it is also important to say that when the HP’s say that once you are into this there is no way back, they do not mean that you are going to be into something terrible you will never escape from, like a monster is going to hunt you and punish you, make you crazy, or the alike. It’s simple like saying that there is no way back just because you will never want to go back, because there is so much joy, so much bliss, so much relief, so much of so many that I do not have the words to explain. Who want to go back after experiencing Father Satan!!! No one, that’s why there is no way back.I am healing myself from the damn syndromes, it's amazing. I sleep very well and I have already seen at least two guardian demons, if not Satan himself. I saw one that is so much like the picture Maxine showed us, but he never told me his name, so I don't know, but I saw him. That’s it. Do not be afraid. This is the most wonderful thing one can do. Father Lucifer and the Demons are the most wonderful beings you will ever meet in your life and you will not want to go back, no way. Too long is my writing and I just wanted to say, I know now it was HIM who saved me, it was HIM who gave a very important meaning to my life and every day I thank him for the privilege, for the opportunity to experience this incredible meditations, this feeling of bliss and joy and all, this amazing war we have engaged every day against the fucking enemy and every day I promise HIM that I will do my best every step of the way. My friends, it is worth. Do not be afraid, those of you who are afraid, just try, you can go out anytime you want, Father Lucifer will not force you to do nothing you don’t want to. No monster is going to hunt you. If you experience anything scary, it is the enemy trying to scare you, embrace Father and they will go away immediately. Thank you my friends, for reading. For being here, for holding me as you sister, as your friend, and as part of this Elite, I am so thankful to Father Lucifer and Mother Lilith, to all the Demons, I know they are always with me. Thank You Father Lucifer for showing me what was the mission I had to carry out, now I know, at last!! Poor Robin, I still cry when I think of him. I love you Robin, but I love Father Lucifer a lot more, and I have to let you go.For those of you who may be depressed and do not or cannot find a way out, there IS the most wonderful way out, it is Father Satan, go to Him, you will see it, you will see and feel how your life is going to change 180°, he just asks for your commitment and sincere dedication. Hail Satan Forever and Ever!
