Don't be hard with yourself and judge yourself "worst". You are not, you are doing efforts and you are obviously bumping against a rubber wall that is blocking you. This might be in your mind - so reading JoS and exposing xianiity to deprogram it on a daily basis might help a lot - or might also be someone that is attached to your chakras and is both draining you of energy and trying to prevent you from evolving. If you have some relative, friend, or person close to you that is heavily xian, his/her energies might interfere with yours expecially when you are new. I would try to spot them (if you have doubts ask your GD) and detach them through this meditation to see if things get better :
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... ching.html Also breathing fire may help in having a stron will, but be careful with it :
http://www.angelfire.com/hailtosatansvi ... _Fire.html My 2 cents,
Sent: Sunday, March 13, 2016 at 6:27 AM
From: "harrilehtosaari@... [JoyofSatan666]" <
[email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: Not sure it means anything but Im propably the worst satanist there is. I dont meditate, do RTR when i can, dont exeecise nor do internet warfare. I just would SERIOUSLY do those things, and i have tried them all by just pushing and pushing. But with no results.

i seriously want to get rid of my anxiety that is ruining my life. I dont think theres much of a choice for it to heal but to meditate. But theres the problem, you guys say that i just HAVE TO PUSH AND PUSH. But even that i would do that, i still would need to push. But myself is coming straight at me. "Let none stop you, not even your own self" i know that but i cant get rid of it!! Any helps besides just pushing, like meditations or doing something to my aura?????