Long lasting depression, i need some advices..

[mark.ryu13]

Hello everyone. First of all thanks in advance to anyone who will take time to read and reply. I'm a 19 years old from Italy, so forgive me if I make some mistakes writing as this is not my native language. Also, I'm a bit ashamed about writing this, but I really need some advices..I've been suffering from depression for almost 5 years now, that's for various reasons I don't really feel comfortable writing about. I've also been a dedicated Satanist for a year and a half)2 years before dedicating I alredy was brought to a therapist, and I've been given medications since then. I also was hospitalized for attempted suicide. During that time I was diagnosed with social anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and ocd, and that included taking medications for all the above, which of course fucked me up a lot. I was unable to go to school, so I had to leave (and still I tried every year signing up again, going, getting attacks of panic and having to leave again).Since dedicating I admit I haven't done a lot, 'cause I was hospitalized 2 more times (no attempted suicide this time, but my parents and doctors could decide for me.) Even after returning home, the best I could do was void meditation. Still my life improved a bit, as I was able to handle stress and ocd a little better, so I started a more serious meditation routine, and took part in the last group rituals the best I could. Also I tried to take as little medication as I could. Lately I had a very bad relapse, and that stopped me from meditating everyday, now the best I can do is hatha yoga and void meditation everyday. I'm currently trying to at least add aura cleaning and protection. Please don't take me for lazy as I've really trying to push myself doing the best I could, but it's hard, as even if I go out with people (hard to call friends most of the people but I do have some) I stay apatic, noises when I'm home are unbearable. My body also is not working properly as I have very bad fatigue everything I do, I get stomacaches even if I eat healthy (meat and veggies included), I cannot wake up without sleeping 12 hours, sexual activity is not desidered and not enjoyed, self esteem is undergorund and of course disturbing thoughts most of the time, but I have learned how to banish them.My parents and doctors want to put me back on heavy medications but I'm refusing as I know that it's not healthy but don't know if I'm doing the right thing.I'm trying to move on a healthy lifestyle like exercising and stuff, I'm REALLY trying but it's really hard.So what I'd like to ask:Is it ok to take those medications and meditating or I should keep refusing?Is it ok to meditate even if while doing it I feel really depressed or would that worsen the situation?Any other advice on what to do to overcome this situation?Thank you everyone who will reply.

 

[dark_pagan_666]

You are doing just fine! Keep it up! The medications is bad, and I suggest you refuse to take them, as they weakens and suppresses your emotions and nature.

Now, I always suggest to perform the Complete Yogic breath, and for a very good reason. It gives energy, it stimulates the brain, it increases the bioelectricity level in the brain and body, chakras and the nervous system. And banishes depression! It is so beneficial in so many ways! Though you should take it slow as it affect the brain and the nervous system.

You should start opening your chakras, as this will help you in all these problems.
But, don't expect it all be solved over one night, when you open your soul you will go through a cleansing process, meaning old fears come back up, suppressed emotions comes to the surface etc.
And in time you will acknowledge all this and grow and become a better self!

Be patient with yourself, go gradual and do what you feel is best for you. And you should start with HP Hooded Cobras 40 days meditation program.

Good luck and dark bless you on your journey!

HAIL SATAN!

 

[maly.dominik]

Be careful with your meditation because it can cause something like "over heat" in your nervous system and that can cause anxiety and other unpleasant feelings. Try to open your soul so it can handle more power.

 

[Light Yagami]

Take one step at a time man. Think of it logically, okay? Depression is a result of low energy (bioelectricity/chi/witchpower etc) so your problem is that you have low energy. Will the medicines give you energy? Most certainly not. And if they do, they will weaken something else in your immune system or even your emotions (you could be feeling angry for no reason or apathetic towards everything etc etc etc).

So try to think... What is responsible for you having less energy than what you need? Because less energy = depression.
If you meditate daily you raise your energies; which is why it's important to do that everyday. Also, power builds each day so, if for example you stop meditating for two days then you will feel really bad even if you restart on the third day, because all your progress will disappear (this goes if you're very new; like you are, and haven't been meditating for more than a year etc).

So, don't stop man! Keep strong! Continue your meditations! Start HP HoodedCobra's 40 days program. Have you opened your chakras yet?
By the way, except for the fact that you'll have to raise your energies, don't forget that it is essential to keep yourself protected from enemy attacks. What does this mean? That you have to clean your aura and chakras and build aura of protection around your body daily. At least twice a day.
Think of it carefully, okay? Think... Do you want to be healthy again? Do you want to leave all that shit that's been troubling you behind? Do you want to CHANGE your life WITH YOUR OWN POWERS?? Because you can!! YOU CAN and you need to realize that. (I may be going off track here haha, but really, this is important for you to understand... if you truly want to change... then you'll be willing to do anything it takes. And all it takes is patience and persistence man. You need to go ahead in front of any trial. Keep your head high and do your best!)
So *ahem*... What is causing you to have less energy? I believe the medicines are definitely one cause of it. But maybe, not the only one. The fact that you stopped meditating definitely affected you. The enemy could also be trying to fuck you up. Don't allow them to do so. YOU should be fucking them up.

So, because I had made a couple of posts in regards to what's troubling you... I will give you links so that I won't have to write it all again. Please read them, they will definitely prove helpful to you. http://twinss-r.tumblr.com/tired
http://twinss-r.tumblr.com/behappy  http://twinss-r.tumblr.com/enemyattacks  

Στις 7:16 μ.μ. Τρίτη, 10 Φεβρουαρίου 2015, ο/η "maly.dominik@... [JoyofSatan666]" <[email protected] έγραψε:


  Be careful with your meditation because it can cause something like "over heat" in your nervous system and that can cause anxiety and other unpleasant feelings. Try to open your soul so it can handle more power.

 

[alexchapman06]

1. psychiactric drugs are jewish poison, they are just another way for them to keep making more money, i remember someone saying that they only screw you up more, but correct me if im wrong, so yes keep refusing them, because depression, no matter how bad, can be handled (im speaking from experience here bro )2. it is not advisable to meditate whilst on psychiactric drugs, so try to ease yourself off them and then get back to meditation, an excellent way to deal with depression that i found was good for me is the beautiful meditation from satan on the site, it gives you such a feeling of bliss its incredible 3. other advice? well, your diet seems to be affecting you, maybe try changing it a little, theres a whole topic on diet somewhere in the groups so im sure they could help you. also i noticed you say 'hard to call friends', well if theyre hard to call friends then find some real friends who you trust and enjoy being around, becuase theres nothing worse than having bad friends, so to speak . i wish you the best brother, these things arent pleasant i wont lie, but they dont last forever ^-^.
HAIL SATAN!
HAIL ASMODEUS!

 

[descipleofthegods13]

Now this raises an interesting question I have yet to have answered. I don't know if this person is still taking the pissraeli poison, or is not, but in regards to myself, I am taking one left out of the original four I dropped over about a period of 1 1/2 and half the normal dose of it. It's that oh so famous(destructive) one klonopin... The one you can't just drop because of the horrific side affects.. I know first hand, I tried.

Just 0.5 mgs of it once a day. can I meditate just even a little, I mean I have jewhovan entities on my ass daily, and their fucking bullshit is relentless. I devised a method to deal with it in light of possibly not being able to clean my aura it's using Electric Blue Fire on my aura, and masturbating which does get the job done. However...

It's not enough in the long run. I think it's been about a month now since I stopped meditating at the time I was taking 1.0 mgs of klonopin, and trazodone(I really hated the trazodone it's just through a strike of luck I went cold turkey and was groovy) Is there.. anything.. I can do?? ...Anything?
 

 

[descipleofthegods13]

I forgot, as for OCD, I had it as well. Although, I wasn't responsible for it in the first place, the enemy was.

I overcame the bullshit on my own. It takes a lot of will, and strenght but it can be done. Just think as to why you are even doing it in the first place? What does it benefit you? In my case, it caused untold stress, and A LOT of hair loss, along with strain on my ability to even use my brain properly. I just kinda woke up one day, and said, ta hell with this shit. And, I steadily worked it out over a period of 3 years. OCD is bullshit. You CAN overcome it.

I also had depression as well. I overcame that one as well. You have to realize why it is happening. As for it, it was almost purely situational. taking "magic pills" doesn't solve shit, as I gathered you're aware from your post.

It may take a lot of introspection, but you CAN DO IT. I will also say that I conquered most of it before dedicating myself to Father Satan. It's called determination. I wanted a better fucking life, and I believe you deserve one too!

HAIL SATAN!!

SAY IT LOUD AND PROUD!!

 

[mark.ryu13]

Guys thank you for your replies, I really appreciate them. You made me realize that even if this situation is really bad with time and efforts it can be overcame. I mean that I was beggining to think that it was hopeless and should give up, but you proved me wrong. Regarding psychiatric drugs when I said I'm refusing them right now I meant I'm not taking any, but since little time. Still I took them for years, so maybe that my body needs time to adjust to work properly again.I'm going to start meditating again, and I'll follow your advices of taking it slow but doing it everyday.
@alexchapman06I'll look for that topic and will try to improve my diet if necessary. Also your words on people are totaly right, even if it's a bit harder to deal with them, but eventually I'll have to. Thank you for your encouragement
@dark_pagan_666When I performed that breath regularly I could tell the difference, you're right I should resume it slowly. Same thing for the 40 days program.Thank you a lot
@...Yes, I'm going to take it slowly! Thanks for the advice
@Light YagamiYour reply was truly motivational, I really needed to read it. Also your posts truly helped a lot too, in some of them it was like if you where talking about me totaly.I believe what's causing me less energy is my current lifestyle as a whole. I'm alredy working to try to improve it one thing at time. And also right, I need to stay more protected, really.Thank you a lot for all your advices
@descipleofthegods13I'm sorry I can't help you how you helped me. I know the side effects of the drugs are really bad, I had them too when I started refusing them, but before refusing I gradually took less of them.Thank you for sharing your experience with OCD, and telling me how you overcame it. I'm  definitely continuing to fight to overcome all of this as well. Thanks a lot.
So this got a bit lenghty too, but 'cause this is really personal of me I wanted to say thank you individualy to all of you for your time and for writing a reply to help me. When I'll feel hopeless again I'll be sure to read them again.And of course I'm going to continue do my best everyday to overcome all of this. 

 

[arsenal9408]

Eat well, sleep well, train, cry it out, get angry, reprogram the mind with alpha wawe, get rid of emotinal blockage trough underwater swimming. Underwater swimming is a winning.