I'm really... just hopelessly lost... Help?

[solarsonia666]

Hello there...

I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid reading my backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well and could trance easy, and was okay on meditating often and working on myself.

Then came along a certain person... they helped me at first, and I called them my leader for about a year. But, during that year he slowly started telling more lies that I, for some reason, started holding as truths. I was new, and I couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over spiritually, and then getting mad when I didn't succeed spiritually at all. I even let him hypnotize me and program words into my head to make me "trance better." I started going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back up from.

Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend invoked,) and Satan told me that all of this guy's lies were bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I started to hate him for these lies, and told him he was lying, he decided to abandon me completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I can't advance. Most of the time I'm just downright depressed, on the verge of crying, my head feels like it's full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot... I have no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the time when I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up feeling like my mind is blocked off, and it leads to me going into a seizure and feeling like I'm "not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask the gods to remove anything bad in my head, I guess?), and despite me wanting to do it, I ended up blanking out on writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack, and once again went into a seizure.

(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my head once and found a "nightmare loop," whatever that is. I guess he doesn't know how to fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get spiritual work done, and feel good, I feel this nagging at the back of my mind and begin just crumbling back into feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I do doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about giving up on the path multiple times, and found myself questioning if the Daemons are even real despite having personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of myself for not working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could be me if I hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really use some advice on what to do...

-Sonia Solarus

 

[radzio_ss]

You should try some void and trance meditations to relax yourself. You seem to have a lot of anxiety. Also keep your aura of protection up.

I would also suggest to take a look at your chart. You may be going through a bad Saturn transit. Try doing the ''Aum Suryae" mantra 108 times to burn off the negative energy.

And above all- let go. By focusing on your fears and problems, you give them power. It is similar to when we try really hard not to think about something- it works in reverse that way. Simply go out and do something fun and take your mind off of it. Meditations are a time to relax and better yourself, not a mandatory torture.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "solarsonia666" <solarsonia666@... wrote:

Hello there...

I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid reading my backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well and could trance easy, and was okay on meditating often and working on myself.

Then came along a certain person... they helped me at first, and I called them my leader for about a year. But, during that year he slowly started telling more lies that I, for some reason, started holding as truths. I was new, and I couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over spiritually, and then getting mad when I didn't succeed spiritually at all. I even let him hypnotize me and program words into my head to make me "trance better." I started going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back up from.

Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend invoked,) and Satan told me that all of this guy's lies were bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I started to hate him for these lies, and told him he was lying, he decided to abandon me completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I can't advance. Most of the time I'm just downright depressed, on the verge of crying, my head feels like it's full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot... I have no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the time when I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up feeling like my mind is blocked off, and it leads to me going into a seizure and feeling like I'm "not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask the gods to remove anything bad in my head, I guess?), and despite me wanting to do it, I ended up blanking out on writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack, and once again went into a seizure.

(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my head once and found a "nightmare loop," whatever that is. I guess he doesn't know how to fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get spiritual work done, and feel good, I feel this nagging at the back of my mind and begin just crumbling back into feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I do doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about giving up on the path multiple times, and found myself questioning if the Daemons are even real despite having personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of myself for not working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could be me if I hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really use some advice on what to do...

-Sonia Solarus

 

[Allison P]

Well, I don't know about "nightmare loops" or any of that stuff. That
sounds like a made-up term to me, imho. But, you are obviously going
through some bad psychological shit here, Sister. We all doubt
sometimes; sadly, it is part of human nature and the enemy uses that.
I really think you should do a ritual to Satan. You don't have to
actually write a prayer down if you don't want to, just do the
invocation and talk to him. Just let go and trust him; I know that can
be hard to do, but you need to do so, I think. He can help fix you,
and you can help fix yourself as well. Like has been stated, try
trance and void meditation to calm your thoughts. Also, why don't you
try this: it's something i have done myself and it makes me feel very
calming and peaceful:

You don't need to be in a trance, although I suppose if you were it
would increase the power, I don't know. But anyways, visualize
yourself encased in Satanic, electric blue light, and vibrate:
"ssss-aaaa-tttt-aaaa-nnnnn-aaaa-mmmm-aaaa". Do this 20 times, or as
many as you feel comfortable with. It definitely made me feel better,
so I hope it helps you a little bit.

Lastly, and don't think I'm judging you here, because I am not. We
were all new once, and it is easy to get caught up infiltrator lies;
it's happened to me, and it has happened to many others, I'm sure. But
just remember, that in the end, our Lord and father, Satan/Enki, is
our only true leader! The clergy, as has been stated before, are only
here for guidance and help. Do not listen to others who claim to know
all, or use Father's name as a byword all the time to justify doing
certain things! And go to Father Satan if you doubt their validity.

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... ators.html

Stay strong my Sister, and do not give up! You will be fine. Trust
yourself, and trust Father and the other Gods! And we are all here for
you. Hail Father Satan always! Hail Lord Andras! Hail Sorath, the one
who burns!

On 3/20/13, radzio_ss <truth.seeker1@... wrote:
You should try some void and trance meditations to relax yourself. You seem
to have a lot of anxiety. Also keep your aura of protection up.

I would also suggest to take a look at your chart. You may be going through
a bad Saturn transit. Try doing the ''Aum Suryae" mantra 108 times to burn
off the negative energy.

And above all- let go. By focusing on your fears and problems, you give them
power. It is similar to when we try really hard not to think about
something- it works in reverse that way. Simply go out and do something fun
and take your mind off of it. Meditations are a time to relax and better
yourself, not a mandatory torture.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "solarsonia666" <solarsonia666@...
wrote:

Hello there...

I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid reading my
backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well and could trance
easy, and was okay on meditating often and working on myself.

Then came along a certain person... they helped me at first, and I called
them my leader for about a year. But, during that year he slowly started
telling more lies that I, for some reason, started holding as truths. I
was new, and I couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over spiritually, and then
getting mad when I didn't succeed spiritually at all. I even let him
hypnotize me and program words into my head to make me "trance better." I
started going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back up
from.

Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend invoked,) and Satan
told me that all of this guy's lies were bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I
started to hate him for these lies, and told him he was lying, he decided
to abandon me completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few
times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I can't advance.
Most of the time I'm just downright depressed, on the verge of crying, my
head feels like it's full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot...
I have no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the time when
I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up feeling like my mind is
blocked off, and it leads to me going into a seizure and feeling like I'm
"not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask the gods to remove
anything bad in my head, I guess?), and despite me wanting to do it, I
ended up blanking out on writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack,
and once again went into a seizure.

(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my head once and found a
"nightmare loop," whatever that is. I guess he doesn't know how to
fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get spiritual work done, and
feel good, I feel this nagging at the back of my mind and begin just
crumbling back into feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I
do doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about giving up
on the path multiple times, and found myself questioning if the Daemons
are even real despite having personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of
myself for not working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who
are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could be me if I
hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really use some advice on
what to do...

-Sonia Solarus

 

[High Priestess Myla Limlal]

Dont let you past hold you back

What you going throw can be fix

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -emotions/

I also suggest you start working on you chakras daily
along with aura protection
If dont do it for yourself, no else can
Rather you stand or fall

Is a personal choice! You can do this
Ask Satan and Gods for help also !

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -the-mind/


http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... acles.html

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "solarsonia666" <solarsonia666@... wrote:

Hello there...

I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid reading my backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well and could trance easy, and was okay on meditating often and working on myself.

Then came along a certain person... they helped me at first, and I called them my leader for about a year. But, during that year he slowly started telling more lies that I, for some reason, started holding as truths. I was new, and I couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over spiritually, and then getting mad when I didn't succeed spiritually at all. I even let him hypnotize me and program words into my head to make me "trance better." I started going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back up from.

Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend invoked,) and Satan told me that all of this guy's lies were bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I started to hate him for these lies, and told him he was lying, he decided to abandon me completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I can't advance. Most of the time I'm just downright depressed, on the verge of crying, my head feels like it's full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot... I have no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the time when I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up feeling like my mind is blocked off, and it leads to me going into a seizure and feeling like I'm "not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask the gods to remove anything bad in my head, I guess?), and despite me wanting to do it, I ended up blanking out on writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack, and once again went into a seizure.

(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my head once and found a "nightmare loop," whatever that is. I guess he doesn't know how to fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get spiritual work done, and feel good, I feel this nagging at the back of my mind and begin just crumbling back into feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I do doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about giving up on the path multiple times, and found myself questioning if the Daemons are even real despite having personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of myself for not working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could be me if I hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really use some advice on what to do...

-Sonia Solarus

 

[Melissa Akins]

i need help with summoning a demon. ive had abilities since childhood. im meant for this and i know it in my soul, i need help learning, there is something i have to do, please help me any one with knowledge. i will give you my phone number, im very serious. ive never understood the abilities i and my son carry but im no longer scared of them, someone please respond

--- On Wed, 3/20/13, radzio_ss <truth.seeker1@... wrote:

From: radzio_ss <truth.seeker1@...
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I'm really... just hopelessly lost... Help?
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Wednesday, March 20, 2013, 6:30 AM
You should try some void and trance
meditations to relax yourself. You seem to have a lot of
anxiety. Also keep your aura of protection up.

I would also suggest to take a look at your chart. You may
be going through a bad Saturn transit. Try doing the ''Aum
Suryae" mantra 108 times to burn off the negative energy.

And above all- let go. By focusing on your fears and
problems, you give them power. It is similar to when we try
really hard not to think about something- it works in
reverse that way. Simply go out and do something fun and
take your mind off of it. Meditations are a time to relax
and better yourself, not a mandatory torture.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url],
"solarsonia666" <solarsonia666@... wrote:

Hello there...
 
I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure
what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid
reading my backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well
and could trance easy, and was okay on meditating often and
working on myself.
 
Then came along a certain person... they helped me at
first, and I called them my leader for about a year. But,
during that year he slowly started telling more lies that I,
for some reason, started holding as truths. I was new, and I
couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over
spiritually, and then getting mad when I didn't succeed
spiritually at all. I even let him hypnotize me and program
words into my head to make me "trance better." I started
going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back
up from.
 
Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend
invoked,) and Satan told me that all of this guy's lies were
bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I started to hate him for these
lies, and told him he was lying, he decided to abandon me
completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few
times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I
can't advance. Most of the time I'm just downright
depressed, on the verge of crying, my head feels like it's
full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot... I have
no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the
time when I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up
feeling like my mind is blocked off, and it leads to me
going into a seizure and feeling like I'm "not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask
the gods to remove anything bad in my head, I guess?), and
despite me wanting to do it, I ended up blanking out on
writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack, and once
again went into a seizure.
 
(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my
head once and found a "nightmare loop," whatever that is. I
guess he doesn't know how to fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get
spiritual work done, and feel good, I feel this nagging at
the back of my mind and begin just crumbling back into
feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I do
doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about
giving up on the path multiple times, and found myself
questioning if the Daemons are even real despite having
personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of myself for not
working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who
are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could
be me if I hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really
use some advice on what to do...

-Sonia Solarus





------------------------------------

Yahoo! Groups Links


    [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]

 

[chenkovdimitri]

What you need to do is to just talk to your guardian or to Father and just... you know... open up. Let everything out and take whtever feedback He/She/They give you. Hope this helps. HAIL SATAN! Praise and Glory to all the Demons and Demonesses under Lord Satan's Domain!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "High Priestess Myla Limlal" <limlal8@... wrote:

Dont let you past hold you back

What you going throw can be fix

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -emotions/

I also suggest you start working on you chakras daily
along with aura protection
If dont do it for yourself, no else can
Rather you stand or fall

Is a personal choice! You can do this
Ask Satan and Gods for help also !

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -the-mind/


http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... acles.html






--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "solarsonia666" <solarsonia666@ wrote:

Hello there...

I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid reading my backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well and could trance easy, and was okay on meditating often and working on myself.

Then came along a certain person... they helped me at first, and I called them my leader for about a year. But, during that year he slowly started telling more lies that I, for some reason, started holding as truths. I was new, and I couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over spiritually, and then getting mad when I didn't succeed spiritually at all. I even let him hypnotize me and program words into my head to make me "trance better." I started going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back up from.

Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend invoked,) and Satan told me that all of this guy's lies were bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I started to hate him for these lies, and told him he was lying, he decided to abandon me completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I can't advance. Most of the time I'm just downright depressed, on the verge of crying, my head feels like it's full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot... I have no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the time when I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up feeling like my mind is blocked off, and it leads to me going into a seizure and feeling like I'm "not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask the gods to remove anything bad in my head, I guess?), and despite me wanting to do it, I ended up blanking out on writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack, and once again went into a seizure.

(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my head once and found a "nightmare loop," whatever that is. I guess he doesn't know how to fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get spiritual work done, and feel good, I feel this nagging at the back of my mind and begin just crumbling back into feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I do doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about giving up on the path multiple times, and found myself questioning if the Daemons are even real despite having personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of myself for not working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could be me if I hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really use some advice on what to do...

-Sonia Solarus

 

[Sonia Solarus]

Thank you. Those links really do help for some insight.
 
I don't think the astral link breaking works for me, though. I don't feel a difference. :/
 
-Sonia


From: High Priestess Myla Limlal <limlal8@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, March 20, 2013 12:06 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I'm really... just hopelessly lost... Help?

  Dont let you past hold you back

What you going throw can be fix

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -emotions/

I also suggest you start working on you chakras daily
along with aura protection
If dont do it for yourself, no else can
Rather you stand or fall

Is a personal choice! You can do this
Ask Satan and Gods for help also !

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -the-mind/

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... acles.html

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "solarsonia666" <solarsonia666@... wrote:

Hello there...

I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid reading my backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well and could trance easy, and was okay on meditating often and working on myself.

Then came along a certain person... they helped me at first, and I called them my leader for about a year. But, during that year he slowly started telling more lies that I, for some reason, started holding as truths. I was new, and I couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over spiritually, and then getting mad when I didn't succeed spiritually at all. I even let him hypnotize me and program words into my head to make me "trance better." I started going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back up from.

Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend invoked,) and Satan told me that all of this guy's lies were bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I started to hate him for these lies, and told him he was lying, he decided to abandon me completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I can't advance. Most of the time I'm just downright depressed, on the verge of crying, my head feels like it's full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot... I have no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the time when I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up feeling like my mind is blocked off, and it leads to me going into a seizure and feeling like I'm "not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask the gods to remove anything bad in my head, I guess?), and despite me wanting to do it, I ended up blanking out on writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack, and once again went into a seizure.

(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my head once and found a "nightmare loop," whatever that is. I guess he doesn't know how to fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get spiritual work done, and feel good, I feel this nagging at the back of my mind and begin just crumbling back into feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I do doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about giving up on the path multiple times, and found myself questioning if the Daemons are even real despite having personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of myself for not working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could be me if I hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really use some advice on what to do...

-Sonia Solarus

 

[Sonia Solarus]

Yeah... the only reason I even really trusted him is because I have no astral sense really. I shouldn't have, even when my mind told me not to trust him.

I'll try that, but I just... don't feel like my vibrations have any power. That and it's hard for me to do them if anyone is around, even my SS roommate. Social anxiety disorder and all.

-Sonia

From: Allison P <apocalypseofjon@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, March 20, 2013 11:30 AM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I'm really... just hopelessly lost... Help?

  Well, I don't know about "nightmare loops" or any of that stuff. That
sounds like a made-up term to me, imho. But, you are obviously going
through some bad psychological shit here, Sister. We all doubt
sometimes; sadly, it is part of human nature and the enemy uses that.
I really think you should do a ritual to Satan. You don't have to
actually write a prayer down if you don't want to, just do the
invocation and talk to him. Just let go and trust him; I know that can
be hard to do, but you need to do so, I think. He can help fix you,
and you can help fix yourself as well. Like has been stated, try
trance and void meditation to calm your thoughts. Also, why don't you
try this: it's something i have done myself and it makes me feel very
calming and peaceful:

You don't need to be in a trance, although I suppose if you were it
would increase the power, I don't know. But anyways, visualize
yourself encased in Satanic, electric blue light, and vibrate:
"ssss-aaaa-tttt-aaaa-nnnnn-aaaa-mmmm-aaaa". Do this 20 times, or as
many as you feel comfortable with. It definitely made me feel better,
so I hope it helps you a little bit.

Lastly, and don't think I'm judging you here, because I am not. We
were all new once, and it is easy to get caught up infiltrator lies;
it's happened to me, and it has happened to many others, I'm sure. But
just remember, that in the end, our Lord and father, Satan/Enki, is
our only true leader! The clergy, as has been stated before, are only
here for guidance and help. Do not listen to others who claim to know
all, or use Father's name as a byword all the time to justify doing
certain things! And go to Father Satan if you doubt their validity.

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... ators.html

Stay strong my Sister, and do not give up! You will be fine. Trust
yourself, and trust Father and the other Gods! And we are all here for
you. Hail Father Satan always! Hail Lord Andras! Hail Sorath, the one
who burns!

On 3/20/13, radzio_ss <truth.seeker1@... wrote:
You should try some void and trance meditations to relax yourself. You seem
to have a lot of anxiety. Also keep your aura of protection up.

I would also suggest to take a look at your chart. You may be going through
a bad Saturn transit. Try doing the ''Aum Suryae" mantra 108 times to burn
off the negative energy.

And above all- let go. By focusing on your fears and problems, you give them
power. It is similar to when we try really hard not to think about
something- it works in reverse that way. Simply go out and do something fun
and take your mind off of it. Meditations are a time to relax and better
yourself, not a mandatory torture.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "solarsonia666" <solarsonia666@...
wrote:

Hello there...

I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid reading my
backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well and could trance
easy, and was okay on meditating often and working on myself.

Then came along a certain person... they helped me at first, and I called
them my leader for about a year. But, during that year he slowly started
telling more lies that I, for some reason, started holding as truths. I
was new, and I couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over spiritually, and then
getting mad when I didn't succeed spiritually at all. I even let him
hypnotize me and program words into my head to make me "trance better." I
started going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back up
from.

Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend invoked,) and Satan
told me that all of this guy's lies were bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I
started to hate him for these lies, and told him he was lying, he decided
to abandon me completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few
times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I can't advance.
Most of the time I'm just downright depressed, on the verge of crying, my
head feels like it's full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot...
I have no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the time when
I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up feeling like my mind is
blocked off, and it leads to me going into a seizure and feeling like I'm
"not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask the gods to remove
anything bad in my head, I guess?), and despite me wanting to do it, I
ended up blanking out on writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack,
and once again went into a seizure.

(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my head once and found a
"nightmare loop," whatever that is. I guess he doesn't know how to
fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get spiritual work done, and
feel good, I feel this nagging at the back of my mind and begin just
crumbling back into feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I
do doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about giving up
on the path multiple times, and found myself questioning if the Daemons
are even real despite having personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of
myself for not working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who
are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could be me if I
hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really use some advice on
what to do...

-Sonia Solarus

 

[High Priestess Myla Limlal]

keep cleaning ur aura
and do aura protection
takes time
but does works
be persistent

Try to find a way
there is always a way

Hail Satan and All Gods of Duat

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Sonia Solarus <solarsonia666@... wrote:

Thank you. Those links really do help for some insight.
 
I don't think the astral link breaking works for me, though. I don't feel a difference. :/
 
-Sonia




________________________________
From: High Priestess Myla Limlal <limlal8@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Wednesday, March 20, 2013 12:06 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I'm really... just hopelessly lost... Help?


 
Dont let you past hold you back

What you going throw can be fix

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -emotions/

I also suggest you start working on you chakras daily
along with aura protection
If dont do it for yourself, no else can
Rather you stand or fall

Is a personal choice! You can do this
Ask Satan and Gods for help also !

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -the-mind/

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... acles.html

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "solarsonia666" <solarsonia666@ wrote:

Hello there...

I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid reading my backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well and could trance easy, and was okay on meditating often and working on myself.

Then came along a certain person... they helped me at first, and I called them my leader for about a year. But, during that year he slowly started telling more lies that I, for some reason, started holding as truths. I was new, and I couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over spiritually, and then getting mad when I didn't succeed spiritually at all. I even let him hypnotize me and program words into my head to make me "trance better." I started going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back up from.

Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend invoked,) and Satan told me that all of this guy's lies were bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I started to hate him for these lies, and told him he was lying, he decided to abandon me completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I can't advance. Most of the time I'm just downright depressed, on the verge of crying, my head feels like it's full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot... I have no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the time when I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up feeling like my mind is blocked off, and it leads to me going into a seizure and feeling like I'm "not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask the gods to remove anything bad in my head, I guess?), and despite me wanting to do it, I ended up blanking out on writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack, and once again went into a seizure.

(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my head once and found a "nightmare loop," whatever that is. I guess he doesn't know how to fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get spiritual work done, and feel good, I feel this nagging at the back of my mind and begin just crumbling back into feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I do doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about giving up on the path multiple times, and found myself questioning if the Daemons are even real despite having personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of myself for not working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could be me if I hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really use some advice on what to do...

-Sonia Solarus

 

[arhkenstone]

Hello Sonia,

You know I come from a very similar situation, except my partner I let in is spiritually inept. She is very good at blocking energy and siphioning/channeling it to herself. An energy vampire, if you will, that has no cognitive idea the reality of what she's is doing. I think you need to learn to strengthen yourself first. Also, your mind needs to be unblocked. I'm not talking about the block this guy put on you. I'm talking about the block he seemed to trick you into putting on yourself. Don't give him so much credit. You are strong enough to connect to your power internally, if you'd only free and open up your mind. I suggest what the high priestess suggested. Work on your chakra cleaning and balancing daily. Dont think of any ulterior motives other than simple chakra cleaning, balancing, and rotation. Do this for a few weeks and then after you have consistently done this meditation for weeks on end, without skipping a day, start to try to connect into deeper energies. Good luck in your endeavors. Remember, he can get inside your mind only as far as you let him. Just don't think about it. Clear your mind and erase him from your thoughts, while in meditation for chakras.

**Nathanael Arhken Stone
Hail Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Sonia Solarus <solarsonia666@... wrote:

Thank you. Those links really do help for some insight.
 
I don't think the astral link breaking works for me, though. I don't feel a difference. :/
 
-Sonia




________________________________
From: High Priestess Myla Limlal <limlal8@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Wednesday, March 20, 2013 12:06 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I'm really... just hopelessly lost... Help?


 
Dont let you past hold you back

What you going throw can be fix

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -emotions/

I also suggest you start working on you chakras daily
along with aura protection
If dont do it for yourself, no else can
Rather you stand or fall

Is a personal choice! You can do this
Ask Satan and Gods for help also !

http://www.vovimbaghie.com/satanic-serm ... -the-mind/

http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... acles.html

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "solarsonia666" <solarsonia666@ wrote:

Hello there...

I am posting here, because... honestly? I'm not sure what to do anymore.


First off, I dedicated to Satan almost 2 years ago.

(If you want, skip to the 66666666666666 line to avoid reading my backstory.)

In the beginning of that time I progressed fairly well and could trance easy, and was okay on meditating often and working on myself.

Then came along a certain person... they helped me at first, and I called them my leader for about a year. But, during that year he slowly started telling more lies that I, for some reason, started holding as truths. I was new, and I couldn't foresee the warning signs...

It eventually lead to him secretly screwing me over spiritually, and then getting mad when I didn't succeed spiritually at all. I even let him hypnotize me and program words into my head to make me "trance better." I started going into a downward spiral that I have not since come back up from.

Eventually I spoke with Satan (whom a trusted friend invoked,) and Satan told me that all of this guy's lies were bullshit (paraphrased.) Once I started to hate him for these lies, and told him he was lying, he decided to abandon me completely and even tried killing me spiritually a few times.

6666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

Anyway, I guess my problem is now I just... feel like I can't advance. Most of the time I'm just downright depressed, on the verge of crying, my head feels like it's full of shit, I have low self-esteem, I ache a lot... I have no control over my emotions, and worst off... most of the time when I try to do anything spiritual, I actually end up feeling like my mind is blocked off, and it leads to me going into a seizure and feeling like I'm "not here."

Also, my friend tried to get me to do a ritual (to ask the gods to remove anything bad in my head, I guess?), and despite me wanting to do it, I ended up blanking out on writing a "prayer," going into a panic attack, and once again went into a seizure.

(My roommate/mentor says he actually looked into my head once and found a "nightmare loop," whatever that is. I guess he doesn't know how to fix/remove it.)

As well, most of the time when I do actually get spiritual work done, and feel good, I feel this nagging at the back of my mind and begin just crumbling back into feeling horrible minutes later. Any spiritual work I do doesn't seem to stick, and I've honestly just thought about giving up on the path multiple times, and found myself questioning if the Daemons are even real despite having personal evidence for it... I feel guilty of myself for not working on myself at all spiritually, and I see people who are more spiritually advanced and I just think "that could be me if I hadn't of screwed up..."

Sorry for the sad post, but I just... I could really use some advice on what to do...

-Sonia Solarus

 

[iRjr0n1GmPD9]

Do the ritual as you first intended and stay strong - void meditation helps.
You SHOULD ask the gods for help.

HAIL SATAN!
HAIL ASTAROTH!
HAIL LERAJIE!
Hail to our victory!


DEATH TO THE JEW RACE!