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I am over this thing called "Life"

LaRs

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Nov 16, 2002
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Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.
 
Ok, i think you're in the same case as another guy in another group. Is it because you READ other people's experiences and EXPECTED the same to happen to you at a little amount of time. Experiences are individual, and not all people are open at the same degree.

Its also JUST only a year to see a God face to face, this can take more time. Are you meditating EVERY DAY, and/or doing some yoga or breathing exercises to back it up and make it easier to feel the effects of power meditation? Or you just felt something but wasn't strong enough from what you heard from other people so you chose to ignore it?Or when you doing meditation you forget to let it go and relax and try to do it as a physical exercise and expect things to happen in the same way they did to other people?

The mistake you doing i think is you expect the same effects and you have negative thoughts. Simply when doing a spiritual, remember to do it expecting nothing, just to relax and have fun. It was this case with me when i had no results and when i changed my thinking it became ok.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "LaRs" <thenailskiss@... wrote:

Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.
 
And I'm also pretty sure Satan doesn't hate you, if he did you would have a bad illness and be dead now, trust me :)You're just NOT OPEN enough to sense anything, and maybe less open than most people.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "LaRs" <thenailskiss@... wrote:

Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.
 
PS: Judging from the title, you didn't DEPEND on SS to live your normal life, right?You can continue living your life and do this as hobby (this is how you're supposed to use this)or even ignore it. If you tried to depend on it and expect SATAN to do things for you, not taking the life in your hands then know what you did is actually unSatanic, its more like a xian mentality. Plus Satan helps those who help THEMSELVES.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "daitsun88" <daitsun88@... wrote:

Ok, i think you're in the same case as another guy in another group. Is it because you READ other people's experiences and EXPECTED the same to happen to you at a little amount of time. Experiences are individual, and not all people are open at the same degree.

Its also JUST only a year to see a God face to face, this can take more time. Are you meditating EVERY DAY, and/or doing some yoga or breathing exercises to back it up and make it easier to feel the effects of power meditation? Or you just felt something but wasn't strong enough from what you heard from other people so you chose to ignore it?Or when you doing meditation you forget to let it go and relax and try to do it as a physical exercise and expect things to happen in the same way they did to other people?

The mistake you doing i think is you expect the same effects and you have negative thoughts. Simply when doing a spiritual, remember to do it expecting nothing, just to relax and have fun. It was this case with me when i had no results and when i changed my thinking it became ok.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "LaRs" <thenailskiss@ wrote:

Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.
 
Hsllo you are most definitely wrong in your thinking here don't give up it often takes longer than 1 year for some people to start having experiences, give it some time. Continue with your meditations you will not be let down. Look for positive coincidences in your life or people that have helped you in "strange" ways often that is father or a demon from what I have heard. Even though I have never seen him yet I was going through a low time in my life and into alcohol, and almost lost it mentally. Satan sent someone into my life that pulled me all the way out of my problems (she even said she felt like someone had sent her to that street corner that night) and protected me until I was able to get out of where I lived which I was being taken advantage of in many ways. She disappeared as soon as the work was done but I know who sent her. He also protected me when I was car jacked and taken down to Detroit, if it was not for him I would likely be dead so he cares don't worry. You are not going to see demons or Satan right away, it takes years of practice depending on the level you were at beginning. If you really need him he WILL be there for you I don't doubt that at all even if you cant see him.
Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "LaRs" <thenailskiss@... wrote:

Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.
 
You said nothing has changed....so before you were a Satanist, I'm assuming you were depressed. I know this may sound a bit harsh, but Satanism is not about expectation, it's about intent.

You are WAY too down on yourself. Look at the posotive side of things. Disregard the negativity, sure, you may not be the perfect person or whatever, but KNOW that it will get better, you CAN be better. YOU ARE NOT A FALURE! You are one of Satan's children, and you didn't get here by accident, Satan chose YOU! Rejoice in this fact.

Listen, I've been there, after summoning Demons and thinking I was ignored, because I didn't see or feel anything....it's ok. You're still new. One year isn't that long. If you believe in yourself and what you are doing you will advance, much faster. I also suggest meditating on Satans spirit after rituals, start doing rituals on a daily basis and meditate on his spirit.

As for meditation doing nothing for you, just be patient with yourself, don't build it up to be some 600 foot mountian that you'll never be able to grasp. It's not a big deal. Relax, and meditate for longer, be persistant, and don't put a limit on what you can and can't do, Satanism is NOT about limitations. Remember what we do is as real as the computer in front of you.

Above all else; TRUST IN SATAN, I cannot stress enough, the importance of trusting in Father Satan. Trust in His plan and don't look at it like it's going to make everything bad in your life go away....just Trust in His plan for you.

I hope I could help you.

HAIL SATAN.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "LaRs" <thenailskiss@... wrote:

Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.
 
Before you do anything rash, try to find what exactly you ARE good at, and perfect it. Once you have more confidence, rebuild yourself. Tell yourself and the world that you are different and won't put up with the bs. Turn your depression into something else, I personnaly turned it into anger and hatered for the ones who wronged me, while at the same time appearing to not act differently. Then during meditations focus the anger on a rival or enemy and keep an eye on him/her and wait for the tragety this will cause. When this happensknow that YOU caused it to. By this time you can become more at ease, because all your anger, frustrations, ect. Have been expelled from yourself. Then open youself to the gods, meditate, and look for things out of the ordinary. This is all from personal experience, but you need more confidence and need to be proud. It won't happen overnight thou, took me 5 years of abuse and depression. What I did was think, if I had the ability to do something about it, what could I do? My answers to that question would put me I a mental hospital for the criminaly insane. But what makes it better is telling the person you hate so desperatly what you have planned to do (not face to face fuck no) but in my family my mom had a bf who was super awesome person the first year, but the next 4 he was very abusive. I was terrified of even sleeping because he would often bust into my room and accuse me of false things that are completely rediculuse. He would beat my mom, 9 yeaor old brother, and myself. I told him in e-mail a month before I dedicated to Satan, that I would love to sneak into HIS room when he's sleeping and stab him in the jugular and watch him fight for life while he bleaf to death, then take the body to a corn feild 100 miles away and leave him to the birds. There was more but I'm on my phone. Anyway my mom saw the e-mail before he did and deleted it, but it didn't change the fact that it made me feel better, confident that I was able to stand up to the evil in my life. 3 months ago I spoke to Botis about him still being in my family and all the wrongs he has done. Exacly two months later he (moms bf) accused my mom of drugs, broke her arm (again) then when mom fled to the hospital her bf went upstairs and FORCED my lil bro to watch as he taped himself committ suicide. He called my mom and told her his plan and she called the ambulance. Took him 3 days in icu to wake up, and is now diagnosed as insane. I thank Botis for doing this, but feel bad I did not specify my family won't get hurt, but it's the end results that matter. My family is now much better off and I feel free. 
I'm sorry I got wrapped up in a flashback but the point is is that you are not alone and there is always a way out, around, or through any situation. Think outside the box and all will be well.
I hope this does not get denied and not posted, because I will not type this again. Phew.
Hail EnkiHail Botis
Sent from my iPhone 
On May 18, 2010, at 8:04, "LaRs" <thenailskiss@... wrote:
  Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.
 
That is true.  There is also the fact that when you dedicate and start accepting Satanic beliefs that you allow pent of feelings to go free.  Isn't that part of satanism?  freeing the self?  Anyway, the expectation of certain things of course only amplifies those feelings. 


From: daitsun88 <daitsun88@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tue, May 18, 2010 9:32:10 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: I am over this thing called "Life"

PS: Judging from the title, you didn't DEPEND on SS to live your normal life, right?You can continue living your life and do this as hobby (this is how you're supposed to use this)or even ignore it. If you tried to depend on it and expect SATAN to do things for you, not taking the life in your hands then know what you did is actually unSatanic, its more like a xian mentality. Plus Satan helps those who help THEMSELVES.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "daitsun88" <daitsun88@... wrote:

Ok, i think you're in the same case as another guy in another group. Is it because you READ other people's experiences and EXPECTED the same to happen to you at a little amount of time. Experiences are individual, and not all people are open at the same degree.

Its also JUST only a year to see a God face to face, this can take more time. Are you meditating EVERY DAY, and/or doing some yoga or breathing exercises to back it up and make it easier to feel the effects of power meditation? Or you just felt something but wasn't strong enough from what you heard from other people so you chose to ignore it?Or when you doing meditation you forget to let it go and relax and try to do it as a physical exercise and expect things to happen in the same way they did to other people?

The mistake you doing i think is you expect the same effects and you have negative thoughts. Simply when doing a spiritual, remember to do it expecting nothing, just to relax and have fun. It was this case with me when i had no results and when i changed my thinking it became ok.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "LaRs" <thenailskiss@ wrote:

Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.






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--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "LaRs" <thenailskiss@... wrote:
Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.
You are under Severe aNGELIC ATTACK.

You should do something fast.I was under this condition too!!!!


Clean your aura.Clean in with a bath.Like the water runs down,let it take all mental blocks and mental thoughtforms.


Ask in Satan's name for his help,and guidance.

Your new life will begin right away.

Don't let those motherfucking angels ruin your life.

Meditate for 1 hour a day.Do all kinds of meditation.

My recomendation : Do full chakra meditation for 10 repetitions on each chakra.Open any minor or blocked chakras.
And do serpent meditation.This will make you happy.Knowing your serpent is inside you,and can help.
Feel Satan inside you.
Imagine his sigil and pray to him.

Chant the GEBO rune.This will balance you mentally and physicly.



WORRY OF NOTHING.FATHER SATAN IS ALWAYS HERE.
Ask Satan to reveal you your GUARDIAN DEMON.
Change the way you see things.




HAIL SATAN!

HAIL AZAZEL!

HAIL PAIMON!
 
First cleans ur aura
Meditate do hatha yoga and kundalini daily and dnt stop! Having our brothers/ sister sharing there stories is such encouragement 2 me keeps me going I know soon we ll be us 2! Just in time ! Father never leave us!
I had same problem I m new 2 and I still have a lot going on in my life but I'm not giving up I trust father Satan even though I haven't seen him yet! Is hard I know but keep strong ! Keep praying 2 Father he does hear u !
Keep positive at all times
If u are driven and have the determination to keep going in the face of adversity, when the going get's tough, do u keep going? Or do u give up? That is what makes a winner a winner. U need to believe in your self. Remember
U can do this ! Forget the past !
U belong 2 Father Satan now!
In time things will happen !

Hail Satan !!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "LaRs" <thenailskiss@... wrote:

Why has nothing changed since i joined satanism 1year ago? Ever since i dedicated i have been depressed, and ive been denying my anger and saddness and tried to ignore it and ask Satan to come into my life. I have not seen anything called satan, No demons, no spirits Nothing. its so pathetic, nothing has ever gone my way ever since i was born. i swear ive tried everything, meditated since i dedicated and it does NOTHING for me, i read all peoples experiences with spirits, the effects of meditations, and it makes me so misurable. why cant i be like that? was i chosen to be pathetic and useless and weak? fuck this. seriously i am so over being ignored. Satan hates me and all i did was try to do my best in life and FAIL at everything.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Shaitan

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