seekerjames297
New member
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2004
- Messages
- 0
I've done some of the power meditations and chakra opening meditations before in the past. (Honestly I should have taken them slower and practiced void meditation and others, not sure which one's are the best for beginners other than any in the beginning row). When I did them a few years ago, I felt the energy and smelled the energy. I've never read anything about that on the site(smelling the energy). The smell doesn't smell natural or positive. It kind of scared me.I wonder if anyone has experienced any smell during meditations and what they mean. I thought the smells could possibly be different demons because there were different smells, but I couldn't rationally explain why I interpreted the smells to be negative if a Satanic God is positive. Is that Satanic energy or some other kind of energy? Next,the reason I left Satanism is because of fear. During these meditations, I felt so much energy it was scary. I couldn't handle it. I had overwhelming thoughts that I would lose my sanity and go to the Christian hell, which if you believe in (which you obviously don't lol), is a truly terrifying concept. I returned to Christianity because I of the overwhelming negative experiences. I believe I'm currently functioning at a low level of bio-electricity and the circuits within my body couldn't handle that much energy and that much stimulation can be too much for a weak mind which could very well cause insanity. Anyway, I've come back to this spiritual Satanism (with caution) because the Christian God never talked to me. I couldn't live up to the expectations of not "sinning". I couldn't convert from homosexuality to heterosexuality and I didn't feel any love from my peers at church. I know that the members of this organization hate this entity and believe that the Christian God is a fictitious thoughtform. However, I am still very fearful. I still feel indoctrinated with Christianity and don't know how to overcome it. I've read the whole JOS website and am still scared Christianity could be the right religion (which I'm sure you hate, so don't be angry be helpful). I know I'm likely to be yelled at by members and be called a filthy xian for saying that, but it still doesn't take away my fear. Please be supportive. I haven't come to start problem, just develop spiritually. So chill. Also, how can I avoid greys and angels? And why do we have to worry about angels? Do y'all actually believe in angels? I hope my message is approved, read, and answered respectfully. Thank you.