Other #78016 Why do I not have boundaries?

[AskSatanOperator]

I always seem to cross what is considered socially appropriate, but I am just very curious and interested to know about people.

Why? And how can I end this.

 

[Anemos Aiteros]

You can develop self-control with void meditation and Trance practice.

 

[OttoHart]

The most likely psychological source of this behavior is that you grew up in an environment where personal boundaries weren’t respected, and modeled your behavior based on this. Oftentimes, children who had no privacy growing up, with very invasive parents (there is a balance to strike here) will mirror this behavior in their relationships. "If I survived just fine while not being able to keep any secrets, that's what normal life must be, so I don't understand why others care about their privacy" says your subconscious, regardless of your conscious opinions.

Discipline in all areas is to be learned in childhood ideally, but it can be trained later in life as well.

Self-hypnosis can be done here, with trance and an affirmation like "I have a better understanding of privacy and I am healed from all trauma that prevents me from understanding it, in a safe and healthy way for me, permanently".

But a healthy mental lifestyle is also needed, take time daily to reflect on your actions, read good books about how to live life well and learn from them, question yourself to know yourself, etc.

 

[Edward Lonsa]

Greetings!

The best way to learn boundaries of others or of socium is when your own are trespassed and you get violated in this or that way. So personal suffering and punishment of the soul is aimed to solve this problem and to put perpetrator into the place. For example: you never understood why should you bother to act beautifully, then you see other acting like apes especially when they do it to you, and you learn hard way why one needs to behave. Or when you never minded stealing, yet when you yourself got all your property stolen from you you learn that this is not that cute thing as it seemed to be. People learn through suffering.

 

[Stormblood]

On top of what others said, you may want to consider social norms in a country. Social norms aren't the same in every country. You need to learn to navigate the social norms of where you live, by applying the methods others said.

In rare cases like mine, which are supported by my birth chart, you may actually not fit in your birth country, and be destined to relocate and move the majority of your life abroad. You may fit in better there.

 

[Epiphany]

In rare cases like mine, which are supported by my birth chart, you may actually not fit in your birth country, and be destined to relocate and move the majority of your life abroad. You may fit in better there.

I feel this way. I've lived in the same place all my life and I've always hated it here, I would be better off somewhere else. Being in the same spot holds me back in alot of ways.

 

[AskSatanOperator]

On top of what others said, you may want to consider social norms in a country. Social norms aren't the same in every country. You need to learn to navigate the social norms of where you live, by applying the methods others said.

In rare cases like mine, which are supported by my birth chart, you may actually not fit in your birth country, and be destined to relocate and move the majority of your life abroad. You may fit in better there.

That might be the case, my 4th house is kinda fk'd & I feel like an alien here.

 

[Stormblood]

Your 4th house cusp and planets, as well as the house where the ruler of the 4th is placed can definitely tell you something in regards to which place would "feel" like home.

Your 9th house and other placements can tell you if you're destined to live abroad.

The places indicate under each Zodiac sign rulership can give you some insight into what national cultures you may consider exploring in that case. However, unless you either:

• are experienced in astrocartography (I'm not!), or
• are very psychic; or
• are very lucky

you will unfortunately not know without visiting different country. I'm both psychic and lucky, so I found out very easily. The feeling of being in my birth country (I've only bee back once) is like being uprooted as a tree.

I hope either the advice of others, or relocating works for you, and you can find a place or people suited to you!

 

[Wotanwarrior]

On top of what others said, you may want to consider social norms in a country. Social norms aren't the same in every country. You need to learn to navigate the social norms of where you live, by applying the methods others said.

In rare cases like mine, which are supported by my birth chart, you may actually not fit in your birth country, and be destined to relocate and move the majority of your life abroad. You may fit in better there.

I've always felt this way and that I not fit in where I live. I don't even like the climate (too hot in the summer) or the typical Spanish mentality of the people (gossipers, lazy people and party goers). I often think I should have been born further north in Europe or the northern United States.

Even HPS Lydia confirmed with a tarot reading what I'd suspected for many years: that I have a past-lifes partner, and she lives in another country.

But all this time I've had to be completely focused on freeing my soul because, for whatever reason, there were a huge amount of curses on my soul, and I still haven't been able to find that is my site.

 

[Stormblood]

I've always felt this way and that I not fit in where I live. I don't even like the climate (too hot in the summer) or the typical Spanish mentality of the people (gossipers, lazy people and party goers). I often think I should have been born further north in Europe or the northern United States.

Even HPS Lydia confirmed with a tarot reading what I'd suspected for many years: that I have a past-lifes partner, and she lives in another country.

But all this time I've had to be completely focused on freeing my soul because, for whatever reason, there were a huge amount of curses on my soul, and I still haven't been able to find that is my site.

Gossipers, lazy people, and party goers are unfortunately in many countries nowadays. Don't get me wrong. Nothing wrong with a party every once in a while. But if you live just to party, that's a different topic altogether. Just like sweet treats: they're supposed to be treats, so something you have occasionally to celebrate, but many people have them every single day, even multiple times a day.

Laziness is just letting the forces of entropy rule you. It's normal for many andrapoda. They don't have the inner drive and higher ethics to make the most of their life. Some may have a prominent Neptune or Pisces that they don't know how to sublimate because of the enemy, so they just let their lives waste away until they rot or receive a harsh wake-up call. The rise of recreational drugs are making it more difficult to hear the call, as if alcohol wasn't already enough...

Where I live currently is not my soul country, but at least it feels better spiritually. The only issue is the heavy drinking culture: people don't know know what to do besides getting battered every weekend night (students more), and clubbing. No wonder they get an international reputation for rowdiness when they go abroad. But at least sports are strong here, there are more choices and more opportunities, both in sports and other areas of life in general.

The performative culture still gets to me though because I'm built for depth.

I hope you also managed to get clarity on how you can meet your partner, and maybe move where they are.

And I get it with freeing the soul. It takes time. Hopefully you can afford some purification rites from HoO soon, brother.

 

[Epiphany]

Your 4th house cusp and planets, as well as the house where the ruler of the 4th is placed can definitely tell you something in regards to which place would "feel" like home.

Your 9th house and other placements can tell you if you're destined to live abroad.

The places indicate under each Zodiac sign rulership can give you some insight into what national cultures you may consider exploring in that case. However, unless you either:

• are experienced in astrocartography (I'm not!), or
• are very psychic; or
• are very lucky

you will unfortunately not know without visiting different country. I'm both psychic and lucky, so I found out very easily. The feeling of being in my birth country (I've only bee back once) is like being uprooted as a tree.

I hope either the advice of others, or relocating works for you, and you can find a place or people suited to you!

Interesting. I drew an astrocartography chart and almost all the lines converge on one country.

 

[Wotanwarrior]

Gossipers, lazy people, and party goers are unfortunately in many countries nowadays. Don't get me wrong. Nothing wrong with a party every once in a while. But if you live just to party, that's a different topic altogether. Just like sweet treats: they're supposed to be treats, so something you have occasionally to celebrate, but many people have them every single day, even multiple times a day.

Laziness is just letting the forces of entropy rule you. It's normal for many andrapoda. They don't have the inner drive and higher ethics to make the most of their life. Some may have a prominent Neptune or Pisces that they don't know how to sublimate because of the enemy, so they just let their lives waste away until they rot or receive a harsh wake-up call. The rise of recreational drugs are making it more difficult to hear the call, as if alcohol wasn't already enough...

Where I live currently is not my soul country, but at least it feels better spiritually. The only issue is the heavy drinking culture: people don't know know what to do besides getting battered every weekend night (students more), and clubbing. No wonder they get an international reputation for rowdiness when they go abroad. But at least sports are strong here, there are more choices and more opportunities, both in sports and other areas of life in general.

The performative culture still gets to me though because I'm built for depth.

I hope you also managed to get clarity on how you can meet your partner, and maybe move where they are.

And I get it with freeing the soul. It takes time. Hopefully you can afford some purification rites from HoO soon, brother.

And I also have to free myself from the obstacle of having to live and share my life with Andrapod relatives who only keep me tied down here and restrict me.
First, I have to take care of my sick father, and now I have to live with my brother, who ruined his life and is a bitter Andrapod who does nothing but smoke weed.

 

[AristocraticDragon666]

I always seem to cross what is considered socially appropriate, but I am just very curious and interested to know about people.

Why? And how can I end this.

Parenting is of great importance in setting personal boundaries.

If was not, when interacting with other people, you can always learn to be attentive to people and ask people if they are comfortable if you see that they are uncomfortable.

The level of possible violations of personal boundaries varies, but you can learn to feel the boundaries of other people on a more subtle level through personal interaction and practice, because this requires practice and experience that you should gain.

 

[AskSatanOperator]

Your 4th house cusp and planets, as well as the house where the ruler of the 4th is placed can definitely tell you something in regards to which place would "feel" like home.

Your 9th house and other placements can tell you if you're destined to live abroad.

The places indicate under each Zodiac sign rulership can give you some insight into what national cultures you may consider exploring in that case. However, unless you either:

• are experienced in astrocartography (I'm not!), or
• are very psychic; or
• are very lucky

you will unfortunately not know without visiting different country. I'm both psychic and lucky, so I found out very easily. The feeling of being in my birth country (I've only bee back once) is like being uprooted as a tree.

I hope either the advice of others, or relocating works for you, and you can find a place or people suited to you!

thank u for ur in-depth responses. ruler of my 4th is Saturn 8th taurus. and neptune/uranus in 4th aquarius... am i just destined to feel this way...?

im not sure where that ruler 4th wud indicate i wud feel good? except being surrounded by beauty/luxury.

 

[Stormblood]

thank u for ur in-depth responses. ruler of my 4th is Saturn 8th taurus. and neptune/uranus in 4th aquarius... am i just destined to feel this way...?

im not sure where that ruler 4th wud indicate i wud feel good? except being surrounded by beauty/luxury.

It seems you had a bad family situation. With Neptune in the 4th, what AristocraticDragon mentioned about parenting is very relevant, because Neptune shows personal boundaries in your home and family were likely non-existent. That is the nature of Neptune: dissolving structure.

Your home life has clearly been unstable and unconventional. Perhaps your family dynamics where difficult to understand, or felt disconnected from reality, and left you feeling alienated, like you are an outsider in your own family.

This can carry over when you become an adult. You can struggle with trusting your emotional instincts, attract others with unclear boundaries, and even confuse "connection" with over-merging or sacrificing yourself.

Your Saturn placement as ruler of the 4th can point to a desire to reclaim control, build safety through material security, or heal from bad family situations. Yes, safety and comfort are definitely important for this.

Have you ever truly felt safe or comfortable at home growing up?

OttoHart and AristocraticDragon are 100% right in their advice, in my opinion. I cannot tell you whether you should live abroad or not, but the situation about personal boundaries needs to be addressed regardless.