In my past Natal placements and my ignorance just pissed my advancement off as after first initiation i got into new age and enemy energies...There was even time i was believing myself a "fallen" and i had companions but i think they were just illusions.However my life is full of dellusions at all and fucking Neptune and ignorance caused this.There are even different things after this trickery (maniacs who tried to manipulated me by introducing themselves like "gods" but firstly they told me they are of Satan)After these times time i done Kundalini yoga RTR god rituals etc .but my routine was not perfect.
Around last summer i was able to advance myself spiritually as everything was going perfect (my cleansing,yoga etc.) i am even researching different topics for TOZ to advance until toxic relationship which occurs... so much Munka (to clean myself),RTR and gods rituals (to protect her from environment) during relationship with her as this just exhausted me spiritually.I wanted to encourage her Toz and protect from enemy but i guess she just manipulated me by keep telling "i agree with you".In conclusion i am totally screwed up and my soul got tired as much as my neptune and other planets fucked up.I guess she even performed initiation but if that is not true i want to curse her to suffer.
I AM JUST HURT... SHE JUST MANİPULATED ME BADLY AS MUCH AS MADE ME DOUBTFUL ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE...
I got so many potential as i want to use it for Father Zeus/Satan but blurry vision and environment really pissing me off.
I know that a SS is not supposed to take role of victim and handle the situation but i feel so tired of this rotten world.I don't even know am i still with gods or under enemy influence.I don't want to die and to be drained.
