Breaking the Cycle of Surpression

[HotCoil]

Some people get stuck, like a fly bouncing off a window trying to get out of a building. They set out to do something, fail - and the hurt from the failure is suppressed. Then they try again, learning nothing from the previous failures (due to suppression). This cycle is repeated and each time negative thoughts and emotions increase, until finally it becomes unbearable to try.

I'm fortunate not to suffer from this, and always try to observe and learn from failure (which I'm sure most of us here do too). I've noticed those bought up in strict Xian households tend to suppress in this way, unfortunately. Even long after they have broken free.

I posted this here today as I'm trying to help somebody in this exact situation, but I'm struggling to get them to understand. The suppressed, painful emotion surrounding the topic in question is preventing a rational discussion. They don't want to talk about it, or explore how to improve. But they do want the outcome they set out to achieve...

Any advice, comments?

 

[Shael]

Any advice, comments?

This is already hard enough to fix when you are aware of it and actively try to fix it. It's gonna be basically impossible for this person to fix it without first reaching the realization on what they are doing wrong and that they have to fix it somehow. If the person is unwilling to listen to advice from others, then it will take a big personal transit to force them to change and reevaluate things for themselves. Until then, nothing can really be done. At best you can try to point the person in the right direction and hope they realize on their own.

 

[HotCoil]

Any advice, comments?

This is already hard enough to fix when you are aware of it and actively try to fix it. It's gonna be basically impossible for this person to fix it without first reaching the realization on what they are doing wrong and that they have to fix it somehow. If the person is unwilling to listen to advice from others, then it will take a big personal transit to force them to change and reevaluate things for themselves. Until then, nothing can really be done. At best you can try to point the person in the right direction and hope they realize on their own.

Yeah, I'm going to do this. Thanks.

I guess sometimes people need to learn things by themselves and in their own time.