Why does Saturn help me more than the Sun?

[kyleshand]

I have a weak Sun in my astrology chart, in 7th house, Capricorn. It's also opposite my ascedent and making a square to my Moon. I have many Capricorn planets. Mars, Mercury, Uranus, Neptune and Rahu/North Node in Capricorn as well as the Sun.

My Saturn is in Aquarius 8th house. And despite all conventional astrological wisdom, my 8th house affairs are very good, I do receive quite a lot of other peoples money, from the government. Sex has always been available to me, which is almost miraculous considering I am a loner male with little social status or skills. I make studying the occult the centre of my life and have developed quite a lot of knowledge and skill. I'm far from a master, but certainly know more and can do more than your average person.

Not only that but when I have worked with Saturns energy it really does help me focus on my goals and give me like a calming but focused sense of energy which lets me apply myself consistently to things.

The Sun on the other hand never works for me, even when I try invoking it's energy it doesn't raise my self esteem or vitality or anything, all it seems to do is raise feelings of envy and powerlessness in me and makes me think of how much I hate people who are more successful.

My self esteem sucks, my relationships end in fighting, people do not respect me, and I often feel powerless in the world. It's only because of my exalted Mars and occult knowledge that I have at least had the satisfaction of bringing some pain to the people who don't respect me in the past, but that's not the point, I wish it didn't have to be like that.

Why can some people just naturally shine and be respected and loved and are powerful in social situations so easily, but for me it never works no matter what I try? At best I am unnoticed and at worst I am the laughing stock or sometimes even hated.

 

[Taol]

I also have a question about Saturn.

On azazels astrology when you go to the planet page of the sun at the bottom it says 'aspects' and somewhere else it is also mentioned that a grand trine is an aspect.

Since my Saturn is in a grand trine, does it affect the whole thing?

 

[black.wyrm666]

I'm no expert - but what I can see is that you have answered your own question.
"I make studying the occult the centre of my life and have developed quite a lot of knowledge and skill"

The only, and the most beautiful (uh, for me) word that comes to my mind in regards to your person is RE-FORGED (maybe the dash is needless, and the re- prefix too, idk).

What I DO know is that you've advanced to such a level where you sublimate the limiting Saturnian energies into structuring ones. And you were able to do it with such a stellium.

Kyle, you're a typical Saturnian - this is fantastic! As for the social aspect - dude, I can HARDLY believe your self-esteem can suck, as the planetary alignments make you DAMN STRONG. A person not to trifle with.

Perhaps a runic working? Wunjo / Wyn? This pessimism is the remaining bitchy Saturnian energies that you have to overcome. Another thing in regards to this bitch – shatter and reforge your thoughts of yourself. Know that you CAN destroy whoever you wish who stands in your way, and let this thought intoxicate you. So NO, if you harmed a person, he or she DID deserve the fate.   In what way are they successful? Money? Stable family life? So ask yourself – how well do they know of what is going on in the world? Do they have Father and the Gods by their side? Or do they simply live as if nothing is going on?   Know that some people who are well off (and Without) do not deserve what they have – and they will lose it, as money and earthly goods are transient - not unimportant, but some compensate with riches, outwardly goods, while lacking INNER ones. And human relationships between those Without are shallow. Doubt you’d want to have one.   https://youtu.be/4bRR-Wykh1o?t=1m3s – the refrain. It tells us ALL about Father’s gift.
Ummm... would you rather shine for other people, or for the Gods? For Father, who gave us the very knowledge? By Hell, I know what you mean - all too well (12th house person) BUT I know I'm doing something and I feel better working from behind the scene. Why? Because I understood how I am supposed to work. The world needs builders as well as DESTROYERS. But in order for us to destroy efficiently, we ought to cherish, embrace what we are. For the builders to erect marvels of Satanic splendor, we need to raze, obliterate every ugly monstrosity the kike has ever created. Saturn is a destroyer – be the harbinger of ugliness’ demise. Revel in your ever increasing power and KNOW that by destroying, you lay the foundations, stable, durable for the future generations to come.   HAIL SATAN! HAIL VOLAC! 88!      

 

[kyleshand]

@... thanks for your response.  I appreciate your words of encouragement but honestly I am not sure if I really have advanced to the point of sublimating it's energies into a more harmonious way, it may just be that being so Capricorn my natural energies work in harmony with Saturn. If I knew how to sublimate energies like that consciously, I would do the same with the Sun.

When it comes to being strong, you're correct. My Mars is in Capricorn exalted and it is the ruler of my Moon. That's not the type of strength I mean when I say self esteem.

The Mars type of strength you are thinking of is like that of a warrior or soldier. I have that. The strength of will or body to overcome obstacles or enemies, I have this in abundance.

The Sun's power which I am talking about is like that of a King or celebrity, the kind of person people admire and look up to, respect etc. The people who have the charisma and leadership ability. It's this where I lack completely. I am useless at being effective socially.

When it comes to destroying outright enemies, I agree with you, people who harm others injustly do deserve to be punished. But what I am saying is, I have lashed out with black magick before, over petty things, simply because I have been disrespected so much in life, not taken seriously, laughed at, ignored etc I just wanted to hurt someone.

The amount of times, this sort of thing happens in my life, is too many to count, and I would be spending my life doing black magick if I cursed everyone who treats me with no respect, the amount it happens.

Some people I see, are just respected and liked by others and even lead naturally and would never have to resort to black magick, at least not for the reasons I did.

I guess, for me, being an Occultist, I am more interested in the answer of why my Sun functions this way, simply as a part of gaining occult knowledge more than anything else, I just want to know how it's energy works, how can I make it work for me etc.

Don't forget, the Sun is also a God, Amon Ra. And above all else, it hurts to think Ra looks upon me unfavorably, especially as the Sun God, the giver of life. This is sort of the heart of the matter for me, as an aspiring magician and spiritual Satanist, I don't like limitations, I don't think there should be anything we can not do, including make the planets energies work for us in positive ways and make the best attributes of every planet and sign a part of ourselves.

I enjoyed your response, you made me feel positive about myself and I appreciate it.

So please, share with me more about your own chart and your 12th house emphasis, I hear that is good to have for spiritual advancement.

HAIL SATAN! Praise Be To The Gods.

 

[dark_pagan_666]

@kyleshand, having a strong positioned sun as a chart ruler won't fix anything...Nor would it make a person likeable or charismatic alone. I have a ruling sun in 8 house, but due to other planetary alignments, my life is a bitch. I have not the best self-esteem...it's not bad either but not that good.
I am poor, people treat me real badly...it got better after I started meditating and all. But they still treat me like I am this weak little stupid kid.. Yeah maybe the sun have given me some positive things, such as I can raise great deal of energies and such. Psychic abilities and other abilities and gifts that comes pretty handy at times.

What you can try to do though is using the planetary mantra of Leo. Work with that and get to know the sun energies. Or do a Spiritual Sun Square! That will help a lot for you.

Hail Satan!!!!

 

[kyleshand]

@dark_pagan_666  Thanks for sharing that. After praying to my Sun God and performing several rituals to him as well as meditating on the Sun's energy, I have found the answers to my problems and hopefully this can help you too.

The Sun represents the self. A weak Sun, causes the self, the I to be lacking and a feeling of incompleteness inside of the person afflicted.

To compensate for this incompleteness, part of us tends to cling to something in order to feel complete, it could be money, relationship, good looks, status, intelligence, accomplishments, power etc. Anything. We tend to cling to what we can do or what we have in order to feel like we are something and that we matter some how.

But it never really works no matter what we try because nothing but *YOU* can be you!  All of the above can be yours, but never you. Nothing can replace yourself.

After strengthening the Sun's energy within me, my self esteem is now perfect, I do not need anyone or anything to feel complete, my mind is now mostly quiet as it is no longer seeking a sense of self in anything, nor identified with anything to strongly and my awareness is far more intese and I feel much more connected to my inner power.

It's a feeling of pure self, you being completely you and the you, the I being invincible. The center and commander of your world.

Also, this isn't an anti desire teaching. In fact, when the self is weak, often we are afraid to go after our desires because the fear of failure holds us back. Desire is very much alive in me now, but now that my Sun is strong, it is purely a forward moving energy, that feeling of lack of self worth for not having what I want is gone.

I hope this helps, perform some rituals to your Sun God, Ra, Apollo or whichever one you resonate with best, connect with them psychically and pray, honor them each morning when the Sun rises, do rituals on Sunday to them at mid day, they will answer you. My Sun God helped me. The Sun is most generous and answers prayers, as the giver of all life, he never turns his back on living things who come to him.

HAIL SATAN!

 

[dark_pagan_666]

Thank you for sharing that too. It's fascinating, and that answers some of my tendencies. However, I have a strong sun not weak. I know who I am. But you are most certainly right! A weak sun may make a person cling to something to feel complete. I may have that problem...it's hard to describe it. As I don't feel incomplete, just goals I want to accomplish because I know what I want. Whenever I meditate on the Sun mantra or that of Amon Ra, I feel a serious sense of power, a raw power.

HAIL SATAN!!!

 

[Taol]

Yeah sounds logical. I somehow keep doing stuff and even though it doesn't seem like it my day is always filled. Probably has got something to do with this as well.

Oh and some of the things that I've been through in my life. Which were pretty unfair to be very honest with you.

 

[shenshakti1]

I'm the opposite, charismatic, magnetic, good with words and people always try to start conversation wherever I am. Friends have asked me if I'm enlightened and even asked if I'm real and that I look like a government created cyborg. Yet I'm lonely and I'm broke. And I have good self-esteem too, I guess I gotta deal with something from the past or a past life.
I'd say that power meditation taken to the max should heal every issue you have, especially self-esteem and gaining respect.