What would you do if you were me

[WodanazWolf]

I am in a difficult situation. I lost my mother about a year ago. I was her full-time caregiver. She was my best friend and my confidante. Yes, I know that doesn't sound great, but it is what it is. After she passed, my step-dad, whom was living with me left the house to go live with another family. I was alone in a big house, and was not prepared for what was to come. The crux of the matter is that the rest of the family does not want anythinig to do with me. They eventually sold the house while I was living there, and I had to go to a rehab program to stay off the streets. The rehab program was terrible. I was in Orlando, but the program was in South Florida. It is very ghetto. 3/4 of the people there are on ankle monitors. I spent 90 days in there. Right before the end of the program, my mother's estate got through probate and left me without about 10K. I was broke at the time so that was great. I didn't know where to go, I ended up staying in a local hotel with a jewish guy from the program. I spent about a month in bed, not doing anything. Well, I decided the other day to go to Vegas and try and win some money and to be quite frank, to get away from South Florid and the jewish guy. Well, let me be honest, the jewish guy is pretty rare. He's very accomadating and looks out after me, so I felt bad about how I am very Nordic based. I know that's the conditioning. However, learning of this site, and learning about the true nature of the jews, their origin, I begin to have suspicions of the jewish guy. Can he read my brain? Well, I have about 6K left. I am in a hotel. My mental state is so bad right now that I have to drink alcohol to calm the anxiety and thoughts. I am bombarded with the enemy program about how things are going to get worse and what's going to happen, and this sort of existential dread sets in, then like a fear of a panic attack. It's all so riculous and I hate it. I never used to have it. But it's here now and I don't know if I should go back to Florida, get back into a rehab program. To stay in Las Vegas, and be a warrior. Do the program listed here. Maybe go to a rehab around here, not near the jewish guy. On my own. Or what? I got to get out of this. See the anxiety is so bad that what happens is I start to get thoughts of other entities telling me I should just end myself. I don't do that and end up in a psych ward, which is no good either. It's just a hospital where they ask you whether you want to hurt yourself more. I swear these thoughts aren't my own. That's why I need you guys. I am going to stay disciplined and keep doing the rituals and the runic work. I will also go downstairs and walk around to get some sort of habituation of the anxiety. I will also stop thinking about the worst and focus on being the embrace of the gods. My job will be to commit myself more and more to the gods. Aside from that, I don't know what to do next.

 

[Henu the Great]

The first need that should be met is security, ie., you need a place to stay in (the safer, the better) and regular meals. I would advise against staying with people who can potentially harm you, especially jews can strike when you least expect.

Once you have a roof on your head and belly full of food, you can start working things such as workplace, and eventually relationships and lastly, spirituality. Spirituality is very important here, because what you describe can be alleviated by doing basic practices such as aura cleaning, aura of protection, and void meditation.

Alcohol consumption will not help, it will instead temporarily numb your mind and causes physical complications when used in such a manner. Trying to lower consumption while also taking care of the basic meditations I referred to above is recommended-you could start right away. A Daemon/God ritual will help here as well.

That is a rough outlining to get started.

 

[WodanazWolf]

The first need that should be met is security, ie., you need a place to stay in (the safer, the better) and regular meals. I would advise against staying with people who can potentially harm you, especially jews can strike when you least expect.

Once you have a roof on your head and belly full of food, you can start working things such as workplace, and eventually relationships and lastly, spirituality. Spirituality is very important here, because what you describe can be alleviated by doing basic practices such as aura cleaning, aura of protection, and void meditation.

Alcohol consumption will not help, it will instead temporarily numb your mind and causes physical complications when used in such a manner. Trying to lower consumption while also taking care of the basic meditations I referred to above is recommended-you could start right away. A Daemon/God ritual will help here as well.

That is a rough outlining to get started.

I am in a hotel which on the strip and have another 4 days here. I have to go downstairs for food, (which is a good thing, because the more alone I am, the more the thoughts get to me, and I am scrambling to search for ways to cleanse the aura or what have you. I did the Grand Ritual of Zeus. I did the meditative practives visualizing the white-gold energy enveloping my body. I am knowledgeable of the runes outside of here, which makes me so giddy every time I see them used here. I found them on my own and am proud of it. I ended up going against my family's way of Christianity, but I knew I was on to something. Anyways, is there for a step-by-step process. I notice there's a number of different website domains and whatnot, I would like to find a link to just get me grounded with some chanting. Everything related to that really helps. It makes perfect sense.

I'm not going anywhere; I just have to deal with the time alone by myself when the thoughts start racing. I have about 6K left in funds, so I will be okay with food. I am constantly thinking about the future and what to do. I wish I could find a pagan community to stay with and work with. Perhaps will we have some sort of community outreach in the future.

Again, without saying it, but saying it, learning about the true nature of the jews, who they come from, our current situation here on Earth, was caused serious existential dread, my internal monologue is playing all day everyday, amped up, and I just would like to calm it down or to have confidence in it. I had it in the past and I know I can have it again, especially realizing father Zeus's role and identity and how it relates to us.

Again, thank you so much for the response. This helps, you have no idea. Just getting positive feedback. Thank yu.

 

[WodanazWolf]

The first need that should be met is security, ie., you need a place to stay in (the safer, the better) and regular meals. I would advise against staying with people who can potentially harm you, especially jews can strike when you least expect.

Once you have a roof on your head and belly full of food, you can start working things such as workplace, and eventually relationships and lastly, spirituality. Spirituality is very important here, because what you describe can be alleviated by doing basic practices such as aura cleaning, aura of protection, and void meditation.

Alcohol consumption will not help, it will instead temporarily numb your mind and causes physical complications when used in such a manner. Trying to lower consumption while also taking care of the basic meditations I referred to above is recommended-you could start right away. A Daemon/God ritual will help here as well.

That is a rough outlining to get started.

Can you link the Daemon/God ritual? I am also yearning for a guardian daemon.