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suicidal thoughts.

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rayaddams

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my life sucks shit. i live in South Africa, where my race is put last. i have a xian mother, and my brother is the "perfect son". while i am the f*ck up. the first time i thought of suicide was when i was 13, how f*cked up is that.

yeah, i know lots of people have it worse then me, but they are mentally tougher i geuss. i have dedicated my soul to satan, but i havent felt Anything(i feel the same as i did before) i pray to satan every night. my life still gets worse. i am doubting the whole thing. i Try to meditate, but it is SO hard. my mind is ALways thinking about something, always worrying. the Only reason i havent comitted suicide is because i am too much of a pussy. i only put this up, because it feels a bit better afterwards.
 
Now, now, don't tell me you haven't felt anything. You still said you feel better afterwards and that's the reason you don't kill yourself. You are deprogrammed from enemy lies and their effect on your soul. Of course you shouldn't expect a quick fix in your life and instantly solving all your problems after joining SS. This is not how it works, and Satan is not a genie who fixes your life instantly, especially if you only join for that reason. Of course you doubt the entire thing because you expected too much. This is a common mistake. If you look on joining, you should always join without expectations, with your main purpose to be gaining knowledge. Then you REALLY start to see results. It's never too late for that though.

I see people who want to join because they're like "I WANT money/to get my girlfriend/boyfriend back/to make my life instantly better" get dissapointed. No person who is genuinely interested in learning more and advancing their souls does have problems like that.

Read my other post about your problems with meditation.

Just remember to be open and patient. The way you seem to view things is what causes you many problems. Relax and let everything flow, and just do your spiritual practices as if you're doing them for hobby.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "rayaddams" <rayaddams@... wrote:

my life sucks shit. i live in South Africa, where my race is put last. i have a xian mother, and my brother is the "perfect son". while i am the f*ck up. the first time i thought of suicide was when i was 13, how f*cked up is that.

yeah, i know lots of people have it worse then me, but they are mentally tougher i geuss. i have dedicated my soul to satan, but i havent felt Anything(i feel the same as i did before) i pray to satan every night. my life still gets worse. i am doubting the whole thing. i Try to meditate, but it is SO hard. my mind is ALways thinking about something, always worrying. the Only reason i havent comitted suicide is because i am too much of a pussy. i only put this up, because it feels a bit better afterwards.
Click to expand...
 
Hey :)

I'm from South Africa too!

I know it seems difficult now, but don't doubt Satan, He is a wonderful Father to all His children!

Read the Al-Jiwah, read His words to us! He says He is ever present to those who trust in Him and call Him in time of need! Don't doubt Him, He isn't doubting you! You are so much stronger than these thoughts!

Hail Satan
Hail Phenex
Hail Hitler Sent via my BlackBerry from VodacomFrom: "rayaddams" <rayaddams@... Sender: [email protected] Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2012 19:56:37 -0000To: <[email protected]ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: [JoyofSatan666] suicidal thoughts.
  my life sucks shit. i live in South Africa, where my race is put last. i have a xian mother, and my brother is the "perfect son". while i am the f*ck up. the first time i thought of suicide was when i was 13, how f*cked up is that.

yeah, i know lots of people have it worse then me, but they are mentally tougher i geuss. i have dedicated my soul to satan, but i havent felt Anything(i feel the same as i did before) i pray to satan every night. my life still gets worse. i am doubting the whole thing. i Try to meditate, but it is SO hard. my mind is ALways thinking about something, always worrying. the Only reason i havent comitted suicide is because i am too much of a pussy. i only put this up, because it feels a bit better afterwards.

 
I also read in a website (don't remember now) where it said that meditating because of trying to fix things in your personality or life which suck is a common cause of many problems in meditation. The negative "I'm wrong" or "I suck" idea keeps popping up and creates stress in your mind. Not only that, but it also makes one lose motivation about meditation. Don't do that, you should instead convince yourself that there's nothing wrong with you, you're not trying to fix anything, you're not trying to force any experiences to happen and you're simply exploring your mental realm and learning more by meditating. It gets lot better if you think this way, as positive thinking is the key to success.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "rayaddams" <rayaddams@... wrote:

my life sucks shit. i live in South Africa, where my race is put last. i have a xian mother, and my brother is the "perfect son". while i am the f*ck up. the first time i thought of suicide was when i was 13, how f*cked up is that.

yeah, i know lots of people have it worse then me, but they are mentally tougher i geuss. i have dedicated my soul to satan, but i havent felt Anything(i feel the same as i did before) i pray to satan every night. my life still gets worse. i am doubting the whole thing. i Try to meditate, but it is SO hard. my mind is ALways thinking about something, always worrying. the Only reason i havent comitted suicide is because i am too much of a pussy. i only put this up, because it feels a bit better afterwards.
Click to expand...
 
Your life electricity is very low just meditate youll be happy
------------------------------
On Sat, Mar 10, 2012 12:26 PM PST the_fire_starter666 wrote:

Now, now, don't tell me you haven't felt anything. You still said you feel better afterwards and that's the reason you don't kill yourself. You are deprogrammed from enemy lies and their effect on your soul. Of course you shouldn't expect a quick fix in your life and instantly solving all your problems after joining SS. This is not how it works, and Satan is not a genie who fixes your life instantly, especially if you only join for that reason. Of course you doubt the entire thing because you expected too much. This is a common mistake. If you look on joining, you should always join without expectations, with your main purpose to be gaining knowledge. Then you REALLY start to see results. It's never too late for that though.

I see people who want to join because they're like "I WANT money/to get my girlfriend/boyfriend back/to make my life instantly better" get dissapointed. No person who is genuinely interested in learning more and advancing their souls does have problems like that.

Read my other post about your problems with meditation.

Just remember to be open and patient. The way you seem to view things is what causes you many problems. Relax and let everything flow, and just do your spiritual practices as if you're doing them for hobby.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "rayaddams" <rayaddams@... wrote:

my life sucks shit. i live in South Africa, where my race is put last. i have a xian mother, and my brother is the "perfect son". while i am the f*ck up. the first time i thought of suicide was when i was 13, how f*cked up is that.

yeah, i know lots of people have it worse then me, but they are mentally tougher i geuss. i have dedicated my soul to satan, but i havent felt Anything(i feel the same as i did before) i pray to satan every night. my life still gets worse. i am doubting the whole thing. i Try to meditate, but it is SO hard. my mind is ALways thinking about something, always worrying. the Only reason i havent comitted suicide is because i am too much of a pussy. i only put this up, because it feels a bit better afterwards.
Click to expand...
 
you are no coward.
you are a very brave and patient individual.  especially considering the fact that most likely i am assuming you have not ran away from home or moved out yet or whatever the case may be.
in any case do not give up as Father himself and his Demons would never give up on us.
the key thing to remember here is to have Faith.and allot of it.

From: "claireduplessis@..." <claireduplessis@...
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]
Sent: Saturday, March 10, 2012 12:24 PM
Subject: Re: [JoyofSatan666] suicidal thoughts.

  Hey :)

I'm from South Africa too!

I know it seems difficult now, but don't doubt Satan, He is a wonderful Father to all His children!

Read the Al-Jiwah, read His words to us! He says He is ever present to those who trust in Him and call Him in time of need! Don't doubt Him, He isn't doubting you! You are so much stronger than these thoughts!

Hail Satan
Hail Phenex
Hail Hitler Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom<hr>From: "rayaddams" <rayaddams@... Sender: [email protected] Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2012 19:56:37 -0000To: <[email protected]ReplyTo: [email protected] Subject: [JoyofSatan666] suicidal thoughts.
  my life sucks shit. i live in South Africa, where my race is put last. i have a xian mother, and my brother is the "perfect son". while i am the f*ck up. the first time i thought of suicide was when i was 13, how f*cked up is that.

yeah, i know lots of people have it worse then me, but they are mentally tougher i geuss. i have dedicated my soul to satan, but i havent felt Anything(i feel the same as i did before) i pray to satan every night. my life still gets worse. i am doubting the whole thing. i Try to meditate, but it is SO hard. my mind is ALways thinking about something, always worrying. the Only reason i havent comitted suicide is because i am too much of a pussy. i only put this up, because it feels a bit better afterwards.



 
life in general is never easy.
when i joined the JOS and poked myself with a thumbtack (this is what i used to draw blood for my dedication i did last year) last December i di not know what to expect.
but i can say that:
i did think it would make life easier in some ways but i knew that it would not ultimately solve all my problems in life.
i feel better now that i am an official SS.  i still a noob at it but an SS never the less.
also i might add that sometimes the thought of bettering ourselves in many ways in life (in satanism especially) in tough times in our lives sometimes is the one thing at that time that seems to keep us going and not going crazy if you get my meaning of what i am saying here.  i ave had tough times in my life after my dedication but i knew that where i was after the place i got kicked out of i could at least practice meditation during the evenings.  sure i had some ineruptions but if i timed it right id know when the interuptions would take place and meditate in between them (its hard to explain trust me).  i mean im not phycho nutso or anything but yes the place was a phychiatric type of place.  not an asylum but something with the word phychiatric in it.  all it was then was somewhere for me to stay until i got the place of living i am at now.
sometimes the though of certain positive things in life are what keeps us going even in tough times is what i am basically trying to say here so sorry if i am rambling.
anyway

to wrap it up ill just say a few more things here:
never give upMEDITATE MEDITATE MEDITATEand most importantly of all remember satan would not want us to give up hope as he never gives up on us.
HAIL SATAN


From: the_fire_starter666 <the_fire_starter666@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, March 10, 2012 12:26 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Re: suicidal thoughts.

  Now, now, don't tell me you haven't felt anything. You still said you feel better afterwards and that's the reason you don't kill yourself. You are deprogrammed from enemy lies and their effect on your soul. Of course you shouldn't expect a quick fix in your life and instantly solving all your problems after joining SS. This is not how it works, and Satan is not a genie who fixes your life instantly, especially if you only join for that reason. Of course you doubt the entire thing because you expected too much. This is a common mistake. If you look on joining, you should always join without expectations, with your main purpose to be gaining knowledge. Then you REALLY start to see results. It's never too late for that though.

I see people who want to join because they're like "I WANT money/to get my girlfriend/boyfriend back/to make my life instantly better" get dissapointed. No person who is genuinely interested in learning more and advancing their souls does have problems like that.

Read my other post about your problems with meditation.

Just remember to be open and patient. The way you seem to view things is what causes you many problems. Relax and let everything flow, and just do your spiritual practices as if you're doing them for hobby.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "rayaddams" <rayaddams@... wrote:

my life sucks shit. i live in South Africa, where my race is put last. i have a xian mother, and my brother is the "perfect son". while i am the f*ck up. the first time i thought of suicide was when i was 13, how f*cked up is that.

yeah, i know lots of people have it worse then me, but they are mentally tougher i geuss. i have dedicated my soul to satan, but i havent felt Anything(i feel the same as i did before) i pray to satan every night. my life still gets worse. i am doubting the whole thing. i Try to meditate, but it is SO hard. my mind is ALways thinking about something, always worrying. the Only reason i havent comitted suicide is because i am too much of a pussy. i only put this up, because it feels a bit better afterwards.
Click to expand...

 
well if you wanna email me feel free to anytime.

also btw just fyi you are now the first her i have offered to assist as sure i am wiling to assist those in need if they are troubled. it just that not many of those i say this to do email me really although a few people have.

there was someone on here before that had a post that said something like:

"i might as well end my life"

or something like that i believe. and after talking to this individual well i forget my words exactly but basically the person said that quote unquote "you just saved a life". tose words were somewhere at he end of the message.

i swear i am not kidding i may for all i know have actually saved someone (or so they said in the message anyways).

i thought WOW OMG that's the first time in life i did something like that. i mean wow i knew from there-on in i had potential to be great.

you my friend also have potential.
i wish you the best of luck

HAIL SATAN

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "rayaddams" <rayaddams@... wrote:

my life sucks shit. i live in South Africa, where my race is put last. i have a xian mother, and my brother is the "perfect son". while i am the f*ck up. the first time i thought of suicide was when i was 13, how f*cked up is that.

yeah, i know lots of people have it worse then me, but they are mentally tougher i geuss. i have dedicated my soul to satan, but i havent felt Anything(i feel the same as i did before) i pray to satan every night. my life still gets worse. i am doubting the whole thing. i Try to meditate, but it is SO hard. my mind is ALways thinking about something, always worrying. the Only reason i havent comitted suicide is because i am too much of a pussy. i only put this up, because it feels a bit better afterwards.
Click to expand...
 
Oh hey StrengththroughSatan, Dafuq are you talking about man? What negative remarks? Any bullshit man. What are you a kike?

---ORIGINAL MESSAGE---Be careful of this person as they have made several pathetic remarks and posted false info

--- In JoyofSatan666@ yahoogroups. com, Noromi Ol Enki <noromiolenki@ ... wrote:

Can I talk to you? Let me mail


 
Noromi: Both HP Don and HPS Zildar have called you out. Please refer to this post by them, in regards to your posts: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoyofSata ... sage/57353

Also refer to this post, where you told someone to repeat "Zirdo Noromi Ol Enki! Zirenaiad Enki! Ds biab Nonci". Our brother Fire_Starter wrote: ""zirenaiad" is an name of jewhova" and he posted the link for reference (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoyofSata ... sage/57092)

Do you seriously not read replies to your posts? It's a great way to learn. Unless you are an infiltrator, of course. There, I just changed the title of this post so it will catch your attention, since you obviously missed the last posts calling you out.

And if you had any brains, you would not call our brother Stengththroughsatan a kike. Just look at all he does for the groups, all the group rituals he posts.

Hail Father Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Noromi Ol Enki <noromiolenki@... wrote:

Oh hey StrengththroughSatan, Dafuq are you talking about man? What negative remarks? Any bullshit man. What are you a kike?


---ORIGINAL MESSAGE---
Be careful of this person as they have made several pathetic remarks and posted false info

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Noromi Ol Enki <noromiolenki@ wrote:

Can I talk to you? Let me mail
Click to expand...
 
A simple ban is all that is needed! ANY intentional false & negative posts on this forum is proof enough of enemy working against us. In my opinion the enemies are working double time against us, we need to replenish our energy into ourselves in the most positive way possible!


HAIL SATAN!
HAIL ASTAROTH!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "lydia_666@..." <lydia_666@... wrote:

Noromi: Both HP Don and HPS Zildar have called you out. Please refer to this post by them, in regards to your posts: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoyofSata ... sage/57353

Also refer to this post, where you told someone to repeat "Zirdo Noromi Ol Enki! Zirenaiad Enki! Ds biab Nonci". Our brother Fire_Starter wrote: ""zirenaiad" is an name of jewhova" and he posted the link for reference (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoyofSata ... sage/57092)

Do you seriously not read replies to your posts? It's a great way to learn. Unless you are an infiltrator, of course. There, I just changed the title of this post so it will catch your attention, since you obviously missed the last posts calling you out.

And if you had any brains, you would not call our brother Stengththroughsatan a kike. Just look at all he does for the groups, all the group rituals he posts.

Hail Father Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Noromi Ol Enki <noromiolenki@ wrote:

Oh hey StrengththroughSatan, Dafuq are you talking about man? What negative remarks? Any bullshit man. What are you a kike?


---ORIGINAL MESSAGE---
Be careful of this person as they have made several pathetic remarks and posted false info

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Noromi Ol Enki <noromiolenki@ wrote:

Can I talk to you? Let me mail
Click to expand...
 
Lydia, I hope you know that I appreciate that you took the time to defend me when it came to this individual, however its not needed as I could care less what someone like this thinks. Again thank you kindly.

This will be my last posted directed at you "Noromi", I could care less what you call me but I WILL BE DAMNED before I let you corrupt those new to the groups. Especially those who are already unfortunately having suicidal thoughts.

Say what you want about me but KNOW THIS if I see you offer any other individual the idea to email you persoanlly I will let them know of your past and I will correct any false info you give to the people on this board or any other, as will any one who cares about these boards and the people on them.

HAIL SATAN

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "lydia_666@..." <lydia_666@... wrote:

Noromi: Both HP Don and HPS Zildar have called you out. Please refer to this post by them, in regards to your posts: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoyofSata ... sage/57353

Also refer to this post, where you told someone to repeat "Zirdo Noromi Ol Enki! Zirenaiad Enki! Ds biab Nonci". Our brother Fire_Starter wrote: ""zirenaiad" is an name of jewhova" and he posted the link for reference (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoyofSata ... sage/57092)

Do you seriously not read replies to your posts? It's a great way to learn. Unless you are an infiltrator, of course. There, I just changed the title of this post so it will catch your attention, since you obviously missed the last posts calling you out.

And if you had any brains, you would not call our brother Stengththroughsatan a kike. Just look at all he does for the groups, all the group rituals he posts.

Hail Father Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Noromi Ol Enki <noromiolenki@ wrote:

Oh hey StrengththroughSatan, Dafuq are you talking about man? What negative remarks? Any bullshit man. What are you a kike?


---ORIGINAL MESSAGE---
Be careful of this person as they have made several pathetic remarks and posted false info

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Noromi Ol Enki <noromiolenki@ wrote:

Can I talk to you? Let me mail
Click to expand...
 
A ban will not always work as we can not always see the enemy as they can not always see us. The infiltrators on these boards are more than likely emailing the people personally without posting it on these boards first.

Kikes have been infiltrating our societies for centuries and I forget which HP wrote it in a sermon but they said that no country had ever been 100 percent sucessful when it came to banishing the kike from their country, as they always returned in one way or another.

While those who do make themselves known on the board should and will be banned there are always those still in the shadows, so this is truly a loosing batle when it comes to closing our doors. What we need to do is perform as many rituals, direct as much energy as possible. This is why group rituals are important and one should perform EZVERY ONE of HP Raasi's group rituals. There is power in numbers and our numbers are growing daily.

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "xeyelove" <boostt.addict@... wrote:

A simple ban is all that is needed! ANY intentional false & negative posts on this forum is proof enough of enemy working against us. In my opinion the enemies are working double time against us, we need to replenish our energy into ourselves in the most positive way possible!


HAIL SATAN!
HAIL ASTAROTH!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "lydia_666@" <lydia_666@ wrote:

Noromi: Both HP Don and HPS Zildar have called you out. Please refer to this post by them, in regards to your posts: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoyofSata ... sage/57353

Also refer to this post, where you told someone to repeat "Zirdo Noromi Ol Enki! Zirenaiad Enki! Ds biab Nonci". Our brother Fire_Starter wrote: ""zirenaiad" is an name of jewhova" and he posted the link for reference (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoyofSata ... sage/57092)

Do you seriously not read replies to your posts? It's a great way to learn. Unless you are an infiltrator, of course. There, I just changed the title of this post so it will catch your attention, since you obviously missed the last posts calling you out.

And if you had any brains, you would not call our brother Stengththroughsatan a kike. Just look at all he does for the groups, all the group rituals he posts.

Hail Father Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Noromi Ol Enki <noromiolenki@ wrote:

Oh hey StrengththroughSatan, Dafuq are you talking about man? What negative remarks? Any bullshit man. What are you a kike?


---ORIGINAL MESSAGE---
Be careful of this person as they have made several pathetic remarks and posted false info

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Noromi Ol Enki <noromiolenki@ wrote:

Can I talk to you? Let me mail
Click to expand...
 
"no country had ever been 100 percent sucessful when it came to banishing the kike from their country"
With natures sublimation of energy's balance and the vile nature of the kike, the next rise against them will not result in a simple 'banishing' but a full-on execution of the species...after all, whats the best way to solve a problem? 
Get rid of it lol
 
Nicely said,

"If only one country, for whatever reason, tolerates a Jewish family in it, that family will become the germ center for fresh sedition. If one little Jewish boy survives without any Jewish education, with no synagogue and no Hebrew school, it [Judaism] is in his soul. Even if there had never been a synagogue or a Jewish school or an Old Testament, the Jewish spirit would still exist and exert its influence. It has been there from the beginning and there is no Jew, not a single one, who does not personify it."

- Robert Wistrich, Hitler's Apocalypse, p. 122; from a conversation with Croatian Foreign Minister General Kvaternik

The jews will meet a fate worst than death when Satan reclaims the Earth. The things that I visualize doing to them will be nothing compared to what the Gods have in store for them.

I look forward to the day when their souls are destroyed and they are gone from existence. However as Wistrich posted above and as you said right now there is a balance of energies and the energy that makes up the jew (destructive) will always be there until humanity reaches Godhead. Than and only than will this balance be forever in our favor.

HAIL SATAN
--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Matt Kresel Kresel <kreselm.lhs@... wrote:

"no country had ever been 100 percent sucessful when it came to banishing
the kike from their country"

With natures sublimation of energy's balance and the vile nature of the
kike, the next rise against them will not result in a simple 'banishing'
but a full-on execution of the species...after all, whats the best way to
solve a problem?

Get rid of it lol
Click to expand...
 
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