Be careful that it isn't that foul spirit "Virgin Mary". That ugly spirit will do terrible things to you. (At least that is what I think it may be). Either that, or the enemy may have tried to divide your soul so that one half will play to a certain accord to their benefit while you feed it your energy. It may be the case with a thoughtform, benevolant angel, enemy alien, or whatever. Deceiving you into your own damnation. On the flip-side. It may be just that a Succubus isn't what you need at your moment in life. In your advancemeny through Satanism maybe you need to focus more time on yourself, on your own life. It may be that you are more suited for a human woman. It may be that the Succubus isn't a Succubus, but a Demoness/Goddess lover you have had in a previous life-time. Maybe you are just not in the right time and place to establish a relationship with one. Take a good amount of time to really figure yourself out. To figure out who you really are and what you really want. Some will have a companion to help them with this. Some have an undying fire to act as an independant and play for keeps in the knowledge and/or experience they gain. Speaking from my own personal experience, I had asked for a Succubus here and again in past time. Twice, actually. Once while I was stuck inside of an "assisted living" program, forcibly programming me to be a stupid, sheepish Christian, with nothing to do but follow the "American" dream of a house, wife and children. Second after I had acheived a place of my own and finally had some breathing room to meditate and "really" figure myself out. Only realizing later on that it was more than likely all part of the terrible programming and/or perversion of my mind acting out this desire. Many times it becomes clear I do not have the material possesions necessary to support and healthy relationship with another. Other times the message is brought to me that I should take this time out for myself. To really figure myself out, bring myself back out of the slump that I was dragging through. In recent time I am starting to figure that I can really only acheive sexual satisfaction out of it being with someone I know on a personal level. Someone I love and care for. For who they are, their mind, their personality, their "energy". Not simply out of what they look like. Growing up from almost as early as I can remember in this lifetime I had been exposed to a variety of pornography from some terrible Arabic-looking drunk, doused with the ideas on sexuality from something resembling the Jewish "Matthew". Wherein you do not use the mind, only the body, or such. I'm sure many are familiar with the corrupted nature of it. From being exposed to pornography, I had developed and extremely unhealthy attitude towards sex and sexuality from the views of pornagraphy almost as soon as my body started going through puberty and I had found out what and orgasm feels like. In time I had been able to pull away from it and learn what sex, what "lovemaking" is really about. Learn to respect the one you are with. Their body is a sacred temple and should be treated as such. Treat her as an equal. Treat her as you would with yourself. In some tradtions; one that I can respect, the woman always goes before the man in an established relationship. In some case, I have learned the importance of learning to love yourself before loving others. Remembering to put your own needs first, as to not fall victim to the self-less giving away of yourself that the enemy's "teachings" preaches to people. I am not completely sure I suppose. I have had little to no fulfilling relationships with others in this lifetime. I have dealt with, and still continue to deal with terrible abuse from enemy Greys, the bulk of which being of psychic warfare through all their cowardly ways. Look at my message whichever way feels best to you, Jay. My head is getting foggy, and I think I may need to get away from this device for a moment.
