Semi-New to satanism

[mtc_kitten]

Hi, I did the dedication of the soul ritual from Angelfire about 2-3 months ago. At first, I just felt loved and untouchable and invincible. Then one day, a weird feeling told me to look to the right when I was sitting on my porch smoking a cigarette at about midnight. When I did, there was a grey faced man in all black standing there staring at me. I could feel my heart pounding in my throat. I was absolutely terrified. He started walking towards me, and when he was approximately 20 feet away, my mom pulled into the driveway and broke my concentration on his steps. When I looked back, he was gone. No where in sight. And he never approached me again. He's plagued my mind for months. I was SO scared. I didn't know what to do. Two weeks later, I moved in with my boyfriend. He too was satanist, but he did it solely for attention and he has now "found his way back to God." Or some bullshit like that. At the apartment I did a lot of shrooms, and EVERYTIME I was in the house tripping, I would cry and become so scared. And one night, I was sober, and I was sleeping. I was awoken by what seemed like a black wave over my eyelids. And I couldn't sleep for a week after that. My fear took me over. I asked and prayed an begged for Satan to take my fear away. For him to just help me. I asked him to help with my chakras and my hurt and my interest in black magik. All of my prayers were ignored. My life was fantastic for the first month. I had everything. Money, perfect boyfriend, perfect friends, perfect life. Then after my fear started getting to me, my boyfriend cheated, my bank account was always empty, I couldn't pay rent, friends left me, I had to move 2000 miles away, and every aspect of my life fell apart. What's happening? Am I the only one going through this? I just don't understand.

Personally email me (mtc_kitten@...) or just reply to this. Either way, I just need someone to help me. Someone to talk to and guide me.. I feel like I'm running on empty.

 

[Mc Rundown]

First Lord Satan and the Gods are still with you. Satan is with whomever is with Satan. Dont concentrate on your currrent problems but the solution. Continue with your dailly power meditation program. when the negative thoughts come do alot of void meditation it helps. do alot of aura of protection meditation. you can also raise energy,program it to do what you desire and direct it at your goal. Its painful to lose somebody you love like that and things to just go wrong. its not all lost you can use the powers of your soul and mind to have back what is yours. you can also do sex magick to attract the right partner to you. Hail Satan!
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On Tue, Nov 27, 2012 4:07 PM PST mtc_kitten wrote:

Hi, I did the dedication of the soul ritual from Angelfire about 2-3 months ago. At first, I just felt loved and untouchable and invincible. Then one day, a weird feeling told me to look to the right when I was sitting on my porch smoking a cigarette at about midnight. When I did, there was a grey faced man in all black standing there staring at me. I could feel my heart pounding in my throat. I was absolutely terrified. He started walking towards me, and when he was approximately 20 feet away, my mom pulled into the driveway and broke my concentration on his steps. When I looked back, he was gone. No where in sight. And he never approached me again. He's plagued my mind for months. I was SO scared. I didn't know what to do. Two weeks later, I moved in with my boyfriend. He too was satanist, but he did it solely for attention and he has now "found his way back to God." Or some bullshit like that. At the apartment I did a lot of shrooms, and EVERYTIME I
was in the house tripping, I would cry and become so scared. And one night, I was sober, and I was sleeping. I was awoken by what seemed like a black wave over my eyelids. And I couldn't sleep for a week after that. My fear took me over. I asked and prayed an begged for Satan to take my fear away. For him to just help me. I asked him to help with my chakras and my hurt and my interest in black magik. All of my prayers were ignored. My life was fantastic for the first month. I had everything. Money, perfect boyfriend, perfect friends, perfect life. Then after my fear started getting to me, my boyfriend cheated, my bank account was always empty, I couldn't pay rent, friends left me, I had to move 2000 miles away, and every aspect of my life fell apart. What's happening? Am I the only one going through this? I just don't understand.

Personally email me (mtc_kitten@...) or just reply to this. Either way, I just need someone to help me. Someone to talk to and guide me.. I feel like I'm running on empty.

 

[En Haradren Amlug]

Satan dosn't just give us everything we ask for. It is not how we work. We work for our rewards. Satan praises those who deserve it. Who prove their worth to him. Don't focus on 'praying' for help all the time. Rather, focus on helping yourself. Empower yourself and you shall empower your life.
Also, something I'm feeling you need to be told. Sometimes in our lives, we go through changes like this, where it seems all our life is falling apart and everyone/thing is leaving us or we are losing them.
But instead think of it like this. There comes a point when we must shake off all the dirt in our lives, siv out the gunk. And start a-new. The old, bad habbits and stink that hung around us in a time before Satan will shed away from us and it will always be for the better.

Keep strong in Satan, and Satan will keep strong in you.

Hail Satan! Praise the True Gods of Old!

-En Haradren Amlug.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "mtc_kitten" <mtc_kitten@... wrote:

Hi, I did the dedication of the soul ritual from Angelfire about 2-3 months ago. At first, I just felt loved and untouchable and invincible. Then one day, a weird feeling told me to look to the right when I was sitting on my porch smoking a cigarette at about midnight. When I did, there was a grey faced man in all black standing there staring at me. I could feel my heart pounding in my throat. I was absolutely terrified. He started walking towards me, and when he was approximately 20 feet away, my mom pulled into the driveway and broke my concentration on his steps. When I looked back, he was gone. No where in sight. And he never approached me again. He's plagued my mind for months. I was SO scared. I didn't know what to do. Two weeks later, I moved in with my boyfriend. He too was satanist, but he did it solely for attention and he has now "found his way back to God." Or some bullshit like that. At the apartment I did a lot of shrooms, and EVERYTIME I was in the house tripping, I would cry and become so scared. And one night, I was sober, and I was sleeping. I was awoken by what seemed like a black wave over my eyelids. And I couldn't sleep for a week after that. My fear took me over. I asked and prayed an begged for Satan to take my fear away. For him to just help me. I asked him to help with my chakras and my hurt and my interest in black magik. All of my prayers were ignored. My life was fantastic for the first month. I had everything. Money, perfect boyfriend, perfect friends, perfect life. Then after my fear started getting to me, my boyfriend cheated, my bank account was always empty, I couldn't pay rent, friends left me, I had to move 2000 miles away, and every aspect of my life fell apart. What's happening? Am I the only one going through this? I just don't understand.

Personally email me (mtc_kitten@...) or just reply to this. Either way, I just need someone to help me. Someone to talk to and guide me.. I feel like I'm running on empty.

 

[Igor Bedzor]

Hello sister,
   Take this as a lesson. Satanism is not easy, that's a fact. It's a path the ordinary men can't handle. The lesson here is very simple, and I'm really glad you decided to post this here : Let fear take control over your life and it will create a cataclysm. Listen, I'm not judging you, I know how FEAR is. I myself was locked on it for alot of time, since I dedicated, I've been working on it and Father has helped me, I am a different person when it comes down to fear. One thing I may tell you is : Everytime you see something that scares you, fight it back. That's right, sounds simple enough, it's not that simple but works like a charm. For example,It's like having nightmares and when boogeyman goes for you, you pull out a chainsaw and mercilessly cut his arms off. You must believe in YOURSELF. Would I have actually done what I said in your situation? I don't know, but ideally that's how I try to handle things. Fear leads to nowhere but failure, and I think it's what most of us suffer of, because as Satanists, specially when we are new, we think a lot, we can visualize things way too well for our own good sometimes. YOU must be in control over your LIFE. This is the most simple think I can tell you. Suicide happens when we lose control over our own lives - Every negative energies have an effect on us when we lose control over our lives and when negative emotions take control of it, let it be Fear ; Depression ; Lack of Self Confidence , etc. Sometimes you must put 1 foot backwards, to take 2 steps forward. I believe you are a stronger person now, and you should regain the control over your life and show all these motherfuckers out there that you are the boss. I hope you the best, if you need to talk hit me up. Thats my view on it, hope I helped. 
THE ONLY PATH IS FORWARD.
Ave Satani

 

[abraham172]

hello sister i know how you feel but keep on meditating and keeping father satan in your mind. father satan helps us all sooner or later

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "En Haradren Amlug" <hecktic_shadow@... wrote:

Satan dosn't just give us everything we ask for. It is not how we work. We work for our rewards. Satan praises those who deserve it. Who prove their worth to him. Don't focus on 'praying' for help all the time. Rather, focus on helping yourself. Empower yourself and you shall empower your life.
Also, something I'm feeling you need to be told. Sometimes in our lives, we go through changes like this, where it seems all our life is falling apart and everyone/thing is leaving us or we are losing them.
But instead think of it like this. There comes a point when we must shake off all the dirt in our lives, siv out the gunk. And start a-new. The old, bad habbits and stink that hung around us in a time before Satan will shed away from us and it will always be for the better.

Keep strong in Satan, and Satan will keep strong in you.

Hail Satan! Praise the True Gods of Old!

-En Haradren Amlug.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "mtc_kitten" <mtc_kitten@ wrote:

Hi, I did the dedication of the soul ritual from Angelfire about 2-3 months ago. At first, I just felt loved and untouchable and invincible. Then one day, a weird feeling told me to look to the right when I was sitting on my porch smoking a cigarette at about midnight. When I did, there was a grey faced man in all black standing there staring at me. I could feel my heart pounding in my throat. I was absolutely terrified. He started walking towards me, and when he was approximately 20 feet away, my mom pulled into the driveway and broke my concentration on his steps. When I looked back, he was gone. No where in sight. And he never approached me again. He's plagued my mind for months. I was SO scared. I didn't know what to do. Two weeks later, I moved in with my boyfriend. He too was satanist, but he did it solely for attention and he has now "found his way back to God." Or some bullshit like that. At the apartment I did a lot of shrooms, and EVERYTIME I was in the house tripping, I would cry and become so scared. And one night, I was sober, and I was sleeping. I was awoken by what seemed like a black wave over my eyelids. And I couldn't sleep for a week after that. My fear took me over. I asked and prayed an begged for Satan to take my fear away. For him to just help me. I asked him to help with my chakras and my hurt and my interest in black magik. All of my prayers were ignored. My life was fantastic for the first month. I had everything. Money, perfect boyfriend, perfect friends, perfect life. Then after my fear started getting to me, my boyfriend cheated, my bank account was always empty, I couldn't pay rent, friends left me, I had to move 2000 miles away, and every aspect of my life fell apart. What's happening? Am I the only one going through this? I just don't understand.

Personally email me (mtc_kitten@) or just reply to this. Either way, I just need someone to help me. Someone to talk to and guide me.. I feel like I'm running on empty.