soullessdedication
New member
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2014
- Messages
- 3
I should begin with a little history prior to explaining in full what happened a few weeks back. I became a dedicated satanist about two and half years ago, and friend introduced it to me and I soon dedicated after a ritual summoning of Ashtoreth, which at the time had quite astounding results and opened my eyes to a world which I was not aware of. I have always had good control of energies and meditation came easily to me,within the first few months of my meditation routine I was able to activate and balance my 9th chakra along with the others. I remember clearly the first time I witnessed my ninth chakra, it was during a balancing and cleansing meditation I worked with Ashtoreth to complete. But this was a long time ago and not why I came here for help.
About two weeks ago I was sitting up in my bed playing fallout new vegas, when I decided to stand up and go to the kitchen for a drink but while I stood up I closed my eyes for a second, note there was a lamp on right in front of my face at the time, and I fell into a deep trance state. During this trance I saw what seemed to be a black vortex like substance extending from my heart and chest area into the mouth of a creature I cannot identify but only describe; It was quite large far beyond the size of any living creature I have ever witnessed, maybe larger than a whale. It had a wide mouth that looked similar to a plant other than that it was red, the mouth opened in a way that four "flaps" - for lack of a better term - lined with rows of teeth the front being the largest as I recall and on the exterior of the flap was a large white horn on each lip. Kind of like it had a huge circular mouth with four lips that shut from the corners and the tips of the lips met in the middle. I saw at the end of the black vortex which was extending from my chest to a large golden ball of light energy which was sitting at the opening of it's mouth pulling what seemed to be energy of mine towards it. This angered me obviously and in reaction (note that I was in a deep trance and felt out of body at the time and in such moments I tend to react purely on emotion and instinct) I focused a large amount of energy to vibrate and the same frequency of the black vortex and bind with it, at this point I pulled the vortex from me chest which I could actual feel physically on my body at this point,the vortex collapsed in on it self and the golden ball of light flew at me from the mouth of the creature and hit me in the chest and filled my body completely. This is where the whole situation got really frightening for me. once the light hit me my heart rated accelerated quickly and I could feel my heart pumping hard and fast. The creature then proceeded to vomit forth large amounts of lava from it's mouth which I felt surround me, in reaction to this I placed four walls around me and one above and below me. I programmed the energies of the walls to absorbed the fire which continued to rise until everything was consumed and nothing else was visible to me, I then used the walls to pull all the fire into the wall itself and programmed the walls to send far away. At this point I saw Father next to me, he was throwing what seemed to be golden disk of light at me, very fast and very many. Kind of similar to a huge frisbee looking object made of gold. In my hands I had two swords, which I forged in a process similar to creating thoughtforms(this was many months ago), The giant creature than spoke to me saying "Since you did no harm i will respect you" or something to that extent it's kind of blurry in my memory. But at this point i stabbed my sword into the creatures skull and split what seemed to be it's head in two. The next thing I heard was something like "now you die" or something like that. At this point my heart was still beating very fast but it kicked into overtime, I completely snapped out of trance and for the next 5 to ten minutes my heart was beating faster than it ever has before, and I'm a person who exercises often, it was beating so fast that it actually hurt physically. Eventually it subsided but there was still pain. At this point I waited up for awhile and then went to bed again and drifted off to a near sleep state and in the trance I saw Ashtoreth standing over me in a place I never saw before, and I was told I needed to be healed. So I said ok and I started focusing energy and programming it, but I was told not to and that Ashtoreth would do it for me. At this point I saw myself in a bright green field with mountains on the horizon and was surrounded by people I didn't fully recognize but Father was standing in the middle of them all staring at me and he said to me that I had died and was definitely dead. The next thing I knew I was standing the center of a black tornado with father, the floor looked like cobblestone but it had decorative design and was floating, but only in the shape of what seemed to be a curving swastika,it didn't have any definite angles and it felt to me like a labyrinth. I was walking from one edge of it towards the center where Father was standing next to what looked like a small well springing up from the center made of the same material but the top looked like a bowl. It was filled with a jet black liquid, he handed me a huge silver cup full of a clear misty looking fluid and I drank the whole thing, then I dipped the cup in the well and drank that too. The next thing I knew I woke up the next morning, so at some point my trance turned into sleep.
In the morning I went to the doctor and had an EKG and a heart examination and all my test came back with excellent results, what worries me though is that usually prior to this my heart rate was between 50bpm and 55bpm on average and it went up to 86bpm, I told the doctor this and he told me 80 is a good rate to have and it's healthier than 50.
And also now when I see my astral body it's black with bright blue energy that runs all around it and through it like veins, rather than before when it was a bright misty color. Also my energy vibrations feel different to me somehow.
well if you have any ideas what this means please help me understand it better, I know it wasn't a dream , because prior to the whole heart beat racing super fast I was standing the entire time, even though the later half could possibly have been. It's all just to strange for me to figure out alone and I don't really know where to turn to because I don't know any other satanist offline. If you have any thoughts on this please post them, I'm serious about everything I wrote here tonight and am looking for people who can help me understand it all better.
About two weeks ago I was sitting up in my bed playing fallout new vegas, when I decided to stand up and go to the kitchen for a drink but while I stood up I closed my eyes for a second, note there was a lamp on right in front of my face at the time, and I fell into a deep trance state. During this trance I saw what seemed to be a black vortex like substance extending from my heart and chest area into the mouth of a creature I cannot identify but only describe; It was quite large far beyond the size of any living creature I have ever witnessed, maybe larger than a whale. It had a wide mouth that looked similar to a plant other than that it was red, the mouth opened in a way that four "flaps" - for lack of a better term - lined with rows of teeth the front being the largest as I recall and on the exterior of the flap was a large white horn on each lip. Kind of like it had a huge circular mouth with four lips that shut from the corners and the tips of the lips met in the middle. I saw at the end of the black vortex which was extending from my chest to a large golden ball of light energy which was sitting at the opening of it's mouth pulling what seemed to be energy of mine towards it. This angered me obviously and in reaction (note that I was in a deep trance and felt out of body at the time and in such moments I tend to react purely on emotion and instinct) I focused a large amount of energy to vibrate and the same frequency of the black vortex and bind with it, at this point I pulled the vortex from me chest which I could actual feel physically on my body at this point,the vortex collapsed in on it self and the golden ball of light flew at me from the mouth of the creature and hit me in the chest and filled my body completely. This is where the whole situation got really frightening for me. once the light hit me my heart rated accelerated quickly and I could feel my heart pumping hard and fast. The creature then proceeded to vomit forth large amounts of lava from it's mouth which I felt surround me, in reaction to this I placed four walls around me and one above and below me. I programmed the energies of the walls to absorbed the fire which continued to rise until everything was consumed and nothing else was visible to me, I then used the walls to pull all the fire into the wall itself and programmed the walls to send far away. At this point I saw Father next to me, he was throwing what seemed to be golden disk of light at me, very fast and very many. Kind of similar to a huge frisbee looking object made of gold. In my hands I had two swords, which I forged in a process similar to creating thoughtforms(this was many months ago), The giant creature than spoke to me saying "Since you did no harm i will respect you" or something to that extent it's kind of blurry in my memory. But at this point i stabbed my sword into the creatures skull and split what seemed to be it's head in two. The next thing I heard was something like "now you die" or something like that. At this point my heart was still beating very fast but it kicked into overtime, I completely snapped out of trance and for the next 5 to ten minutes my heart was beating faster than it ever has before, and I'm a person who exercises often, it was beating so fast that it actually hurt physically. Eventually it subsided but there was still pain. At this point I waited up for awhile and then went to bed again and drifted off to a near sleep state and in the trance I saw Ashtoreth standing over me in a place I never saw before, and I was told I needed to be healed. So I said ok and I started focusing energy and programming it, but I was told not to and that Ashtoreth would do it for me. At this point I saw myself in a bright green field with mountains on the horizon and was surrounded by people I didn't fully recognize but Father was standing in the middle of them all staring at me and he said to me that I had died and was definitely dead. The next thing I knew I was standing the center of a black tornado with father, the floor looked like cobblestone but it had decorative design and was floating, but only in the shape of what seemed to be a curving swastika,it didn't have any definite angles and it felt to me like a labyrinth. I was walking from one edge of it towards the center where Father was standing next to what looked like a small well springing up from the center made of the same material but the top looked like a bowl. It was filled with a jet black liquid, he handed me a huge silver cup full of a clear misty looking fluid and I drank the whole thing, then I dipped the cup in the well and drank that too. The next thing I knew I woke up the next morning, so at some point my trance turned into sleep.
In the morning I went to the doctor and had an EKG and a heart examination and all my test came back with excellent results, what worries me though is that usually prior to this my heart rate was between 50bpm and 55bpm on average and it went up to 86bpm, I told the doctor this and he told me 80 is a good rate to have and it's healthier than 50.
And also now when I see my astral body it's black with bright blue energy that runs all around it and through it like veins, rather than before when it was a bright misty color. Also my energy vibrations feel different to me somehow.
well if you have any ideas what this means please help me understand it better, I know it wasn't a dream , because prior to the whole heart beat racing super fast I was standing the entire time, even though the later half could possibly have been. It's all just to strange for me to figure out alone and I don't really know where to turn to because I don't know any other satanist offline. If you have any thoughts on this please post them, I'm serious about everything I wrote here tonight and am looking for people who can help me understand it all better.
