I posted to the main JOS group as well but it fights here better.
I'm sorry, I tried to break this up as best I could, but it's a little long.
Okay, the other day I was meditating and I had a very in-depth but in some ways confusing experience. I was wondering if my brothers and sisters could give me some insight on this. The important background info here is that I am a lesbian(I know, I'll post this to the Satanic Gay group as well) who has been seeking lesbian lore in paganism.
Any in my meditation I found myself walking through a large field, down a smaller path and up to a HUGE white oak tree. At the base of the tree's roots was a big hole into the earth. I went through the hole into the earth and found myself in Hell. I was in an enormous cavern that was dimly lit with blue light(think of Demon energy). There were fireflies all over the play and they glowed with a blue light as well.
I walked further into the cavern(it was beautifull in an unreal sorta way) and saw a large group of woman standing around a tree(another big white oak). The woman were from all different times and cultures and they were skyclad. I could tell instantly that they were with Satan, so when they asked me to join them I agreed.
The woman held each others hands and danced around the tree. I somehow got pushed to the center, away from the women and up to the tree. I put my hands on it's trunk and could feel a huge amount of Satanic energy running through it, into me.
Suddenly I looked up and saw a Demoness standing in the branches. She was beautiful in a natural way(no makeup or anything like that). Now, please don't think I'm a perv or anything but she was scantly clad in some animal fur and vegatation. Sha was holding a spear and she had deer antlers on her head.
She jumped down in front of me and smiled. She took my hand and started to lead me away from the tree. I felt happy and safe with Her(She's a Demonness after all
) and so I followed.
Here is where things start to confuse me.
She told me I could call Her Ellen and that She was a lesbian. She took me to the far end of the cavern to a cliff. The cliff was shrouded in mist and fog. She gestured and it cleared away leaving what looked like an entire city below me.
The city was gorgeous and next to a large ocean. It was full of temples as well as mundane things. I could see other females down there working and playing. Ellen told me that as Satanists we all bring our own identity and talents to Satanism.
She said that Hell would be a boring place if we were all 100% alike. She explained that when we go to Hell(in-between lifetimes) it's not like we are just going to one place. Hell is HUGE and will never run out of space. Because of this there are an uncountable number of different places and areas inside of Hell.
All different climates are represented there. Also people who share things in common(race, sexual orientation,culture,etc.) have there own place to store their own histories and lore. You don't stay in your one little area while you are in Hell though.
You mingle with ALL Satanists most of the time(which would explain why I saw no houses down in the city).
Ellen: "Satanist first, cultural/racial/sexual/whatever/identity later. Our shared Father knows it's important for us all to unite, and stay united. Without anything else dividing us."
However, she told me that since we all are different, we may inherit different talents and roles. She told me that there is special lore and energy wrapped up in our differences. It's not better or worse, just different. She told me that the women I had seen were ancestors of lesbian Satanists but that there were Satanic ancestors for all types of Satanists and Satanic anscestors in general.
She connected this all with shamanism. Ellen told me that any Satanist could seek advice from Satanic human spirits that were still in Hell. With this, she brought me back to my body.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are my questions that maybe you guys could help me with:
1.I keep googling "Pagan goddess Ellen" but the only things I get is a Goddess that does not really match what Ellen was like to me. True, She seems to be an obscure goddess....
2.What do you think of this experience? I am 110% sure it was real and that everything I experienced was Satanic but I am still unsure of myself.
3. Also, since we know that Hell is NOT underground what could the trees and the hole under the tree symbolize?
Thank you for your help, my head is spinning....
666/88
I'm sorry, I tried to break this up as best I could, but it's a little long.
Okay, the other day I was meditating and I had a very in-depth but in some ways confusing experience. I was wondering if my brothers and sisters could give me some insight on this. The important background info here is that I am a lesbian(I know, I'll post this to the Satanic Gay group as well) who has been seeking lesbian lore in paganism.
Any in my meditation I found myself walking through a large field, down a smaller path and up to a HUGE white oak tree. At the base of the tree's roots was a big hole into the earth. I went through the hole into the earth and found myself in Hell. I was in an enormous cavern that was dimly lit with blue light(think of Demon energy). There were fireflies all over the play and they glowed with a blue light as well.
I walked further into the cavern(it was beautifull in an unreal sorta way) and saw a large group of woman standing around a tree(another big white oak). The woman were from all different times and cultures and they were skyclad. I could tell instantly that they were with Satan, so when they asked me to join them I agreed.
The woman held each others hands and danced around the tree. I somehow got pushed to the center, away from the women and up to the tree. I put my hands on it's trunk and could feel a huge amount of Satanic energy running through it, into me.
Suddenly I looked up and saw a Demoness standing in the branches. She was beautiful in a natural way(no makeup or anything like that). Now, please don't think I'm a perv or anything but she was scantly clad in some animal fur and vegatation. Sha was holding a spear and she had deer antlers on her head.
She jumped down in front of me and smiled. She took my hand and started to lead me away from the tree. I felt happy and safe with Her(She's a Demonness after all
) and so I followed.Here is where things start to confuse me.
She told me I could call Her Ellen and that She was a lesbian. She took me to the far end of the cavern to a cliff. The cliff was shrouded in mist and fog. She gestured and it cleared away leaving what looked like an entire city below me.
The city was gorgeous and next to a large ocean. It was full of temples as well as mundane things. I could see other females down there working and playing. Ellen told me that as Satanists we all bring our own identity and talents to Satanism.
She said that Hell would be a boring place if we were all 100% alike. She explained that when we go to Hell(in-between lifetimes) it's not like we are just going to one place. Hell is HUGE and will never run out of space. Because of this there are an uncountable number of different places and areas inside of Hell.
All different climates are represented there. Also people who share things in common(race, sexual orientation,culture,etc.) have there own place to store their own histories and lore. You don't stay in your one little area while you are in Hell though.
You mingle with ALL Satanists most of the time(which would explain why I saw no houses down in the city).
Ellen: "Satanist first, cultural/racial/sexual/whatever/identity later. Our shared Father knows it's important for us all to unite, and stay united. Without anything else dividing us."
However, she told me that since we all are different, we may inherit different talents and roles. She told me that there is special lore and energy wrapped up in our differences. It's not better or worse, just different. She told me that the women I had seen were ancestors of lesbian Satanists but that there were Satanic ancestors for all types of Satanists and Satanic anscestors in general.
She connected this all with shamanism. Ellen told me that any Satanist could seek advice from Satanic human spirits that were still in Hell. With this, she brought me back to my body.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Here are my questions that maybe you guys could help me with:
1.I keep googling "Pagan goddess Ellen" but the only things I get is a Goddess that does not really match what Ellen was like to me. True, She seems to be an obscure goddess....
2.What do you think of this experience? I am 110% sure it was real and that everything I experienced was Satanic but I am still unsure of myself.
3. Also, since we know that Hell is NOT underground what could the trees and the hole under the tree symbolize?
Thank you for your help, my head is spinning....
666/88
