tabby said:
Shadowcat said:
I'll be totally honest here. Using the term "pair bonding" to try to explain away why people can't feel that "first time" feeling in love anymore, sounds like an excuse based in fear to avoid facing and healing the pain they're carrying in their heart from past bad experiences and heartbreak.
Yes I understand these were your views and i was explaining why this was not the case. I am not saying there is not people who don't get hurt and as a result don't want to get back out there. Sure there is. My point with the pair bonding means ability to be faithful and carry out the integrity of a monogamous relationship overtime without getting bored or with the temptation to cheat. I do not believe this is possible for 98 percent of people at least, who have been intimate with many different people. Maybe there are exceptions. If this is the case, good for them, if they are not, well that's fine, it just means they are better suited to a different relationship style or sex life that does not require exclusivity.
I have explained this and backed this up with how the brain works and is infact quite valid.
People who end up having sex with a whole bunch of differnt people don't always end up doing it because of heartbreak, and people who want exclusivity do not avoid these people simply out of heartbreak. Let me put it this way. Ok, I am a welder. I have years of experience as as welder. If i go up to an office and tell them i want to work with a software or something, they will look at my resume and work history and go uhh sorry we need someone with specific experience.
A person who wants an exclusive partner is going to want someone who thinks and feels like them in terms of selectivity, they are going to want someone who isn't too far removed from them in sexual tastes and experience. In short, someone compatible. How about if a person who is normally monogamous approaches a poly person? I am sure they would be rejected with being told "sorry, i like to share and be shared and you don't have experience with that or are ok with it."
This isn't about hangups but about being on the same page with compatibility, much like astrology. This is about someones innate nature, what they are attracted to romantically and sexually. preferring monogamy or many partners is also to be seen in someones chart.
Lets say someone wants to do a working and reprogram themselves to attract a certain partner. I have never said this is in no way possible. But one also has to be in tune with their own innate nature and understanding what one wants and needs truly, which most people do not. Let's say someone wants to do a working to become monogamous or to not "cheat".
In the case that their whole chart sets them up for polygamy, this will have to be a working that they continue for the rest of their life, or it may even produce little results, as they are basically trying to override their own innate nature, when in truth, there is nothing wrong with polygamy also. Due to jewish stigma, a lot of poly people get hangups themselves and are looked down on for wanting multiple people, so then they think there is something wrong with them. They think then the standard then is having that one special person, when again as i mentioned, one size does not fit all.
In any case, all of what i have said especially counts for the general population. As SS, being aware of what we are and what we truly want and need will tell us what kind of relationship we are happiest in. On the basis of significant self realization and awareness, The ones who want variety are better off with others like them, as are exclusive people with people who think as they do. If the two different types of people with two innate natures attempt to deny their own natures and try to make it work it is not going to happen. It has to do with ones true nature and not with hang ups.
Someone with extreme aspects to pluto or scoripo emphasis for example, is not going to want someone who has a lot of variety or is lible to get bored. They want someone who is all about them and want to give that in return. People with a pisces venus and other things to support this notion in their chart will think the same. Believe it or not, Saturn has a BIG influence in predispositions for monogamy especially in the seventh house when properly sublimated, with a seriousness and devotion towards relationships as well as selectivity. Some one with a gemini or sagg or leo venus will look at sex more nonchalantly with a "oh every person i have been with is a stepping stone for experience in my life", where as the first examples will express more seriousness and intensity, wanting an exclusive soul to soul bond, YES a pair bond.
This has nothing to do with heartache and hang ups, however what DOES is jewish programming of forcing everyone to look at sex as something dirty and how everyone should be repressed and feel ashamed for lustful feelings.
You can do workings to reprogram the mind, but you cannot erase your true nature and who you really are as a person. The hang ups come when we try to override this true nature in favor of what is pushed on us to be normal or acceptable.
Almost every person i have talked to who has a low partner count expresses a desire for monogamy, where as someone who has slept around a lot take a much more laid back attitude, "just seeing what's out there" "friends with benefits" ect.
Again, there is nothing wrong with people wanting to have sex. There is just different ways different types of people behave towards sex and partnerships, and are better off with people who are more like them or "compatible"
What have people been reading the years they've been in JoS?
Oh I dunno, things about the Gods, trying to get close to them, advancing in self awareness, astrology and about knowledge. Some of which i have used in the past to help you by the way if you recall, something that you yourself perhaps should do more reading on like the rest of us...But i'm going to remember this snide line that you didn't dare to quote me with that i really didn't deserve until I called you out, during the next time when you want help again...
I may disagree with some people here but i at least know how to do it respectfully, unless it's a jew or a troll, which in this case they don't deserve my respect.