Im alone and scared

[hafischer9501]

I am crying as I write this. Me and my dad got into a big fight about school. He asked whats my motivation/drive. I told him that I diddent know because im scared of what he will do if I tell him. Im scared of what hell say. I dont know how to approach it, he asked for my goals in life. I again said I dont know. He came up and slapped me on the face. He asked the same question, Once again I said I dont know. He tried to slap me again but I blocked and rolled back on the bed. He just stared at me. Im scared, im alone. I cant chat online for another 4-6 years. I need people, I need face to face deep intelluctual conversations with people I trust and know. I need people that can understand and listen. I never trusted my parents. In any matters to be kept a secret. I need help. I have nothing to vent with and i end up bottleing it. When it starts too leak, l have bad mood swings. I end up wanting to take my life or others. When I crry I want to hurt myself Im scared of what will happen.. But I cant stop it. Its getting out of control I see everything and i want it gone i want it dead! I cant stop it

 

[lancefireopus45]

your dad is an ass i hate asses he deserve a good butt whooping and a lesson on how to treat young kids and adults

call the cops on him tell them your dad keeps slapping you and demanding answers from you over questions you dont understand

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "hafischer9501" <hafischer9501@... wrote:

I am crying as I write this. Me and my dad got into a big fight about school. He asked whats my motivation/drive. I told him that I diddent know because im scared of what he will do if I tell him. Im scared of what hell say. I dont know how to approach it, he asked for my goals in life. I again said I dont know. He came up and slapped me on the face. He asked the same question, Once again I said I dont know. He tried to slap me again but I blocked and rolled back on the bed. He just stared at me. Im scared, im alone. I cant chat online for another 4-6 years. I need people, I need face to face deep intelluctual conversations with people I trust and know. I need people that can understand and listen. I never trusted my parents. In any matters to be kept a secret. I need help. I have nothing to vent with and i end up bottleing it. When it starts too leak, l have bad mood swings. I end up wanting to take my life or others. When I crry I want to hurt myself Im scared of what will happen.. But I cant stop it. Its getting out of control I see everything and i want it gone i want it dead! I cant stop it

 

[Mayesha]

I'm sorry, dude. I know exactly how you feel. I don't trust my parents either; I can't tell them anything. Every time I try to talk to my mom, she just yells and says she doesn't want to hear my problems 'cause she has some of her own. With my dad, all he tells me is what women should do like cooking and cleaning, what I should be reading, what I should major in, how I should think, and other things. Admittedly, it's not THAT bad 'cause we don't live together, but the last time he visited me was to see my high school graduation. When we got home that day, all he talked about, when my mom wasn't around, was how I shouldn't have white friends and how I shouldn't listen to feminists, dispite the fact he sent me a book about it. Dumb fuck. Back to my mom, she's even worse. All she did when I was a kid was hit me for stupid reasons like leaving a toy on the floor or getting a C, blame me for getting bullied, blames me indirectly for quitting her job, and my favorite, blaming me for getting kidnapped and raped by a strange and saying I deserved it; she said " You learned your lesson". Piece of Christian shit. May she, my dad, and all Christians, Muslims, and Jews burn in their fictional lake of fire! Anyway, I feel ya with the whole suicide/murder thing. I had feelings like that too, especially after I got raped. But, after accepting Satan, I felt at piece. He teaches us that we shouldn't take abuse and we shouldn't think it was our fault regardless of what we did. I admit I'm sad for both you and me, but I have no feelings to end my life, for Father Satan loves His children and He knows I'm capable of many good things. I hope you feel that way too. And about school, I know how it is. My mom said that if I can't do full time next semester, she'll kick me out the house 'cause she thinks spending $300 on video games is bad. Wow, huh? Anywho, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Keep Satan in your heart.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "hafischer9501" <hafischer9501@... wrote:

I am crying as I write this. Me and my dad got into a big fight about school. He asked whats my motivation/drive. I told him that I diddent know because im scared of what he will do if I tell him. Im scared of what hell say. I dont know how to approach it, he asked for my goals in life. I again said I dont know. He came up and slapped me on the face. He asked the same question, Once again I said I dont know. He tried to slap me again but I blocked and rolled back on the bed. He just stared at me. Im scared, im alone. I cant chat online for another 4-6 years. I need people, I need face to face deep intelluctual conversations with people I trust and know. I need people that can understand and listen. I never trusted my parents. In any matters to be kept a secret. I need help. I have nothing to vent with and i end up bottleing it. When it starts too leak, l have bad mood swings. I end up wanting to take my life or others. When I crry I want to hurt myself Im scared of what will happen.. But I cant stop it. Its getting out of control I see everything and i want it gone i want it dead! I cant stop it

 

[Jables Pottles]

where do you live?

From: hafischer9501 <hafischer9501@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Mon, October 26, 2009 7:57:52 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Im alone and scared

  I am crying as I write this. Me and my dad got into a big fight about school. He asked whats my motivation/drive. I told him that I diddent know because im scared of what he will do if I tell him. Im scared of what hell say. I dont know how to approach it, he asked for my goals in life. I again said I dont know. He came up and slapped me on the face. He asked the same question, Once again I said I dont know. He tried to slap me again but I blocked and rolled back on the bed. He just stared at me. Im scared, im alone. I cant chat online for another 4-6 years. I need people, I need face to face deep intelluctual conversations with people I trust and know. I need people that can understand and listen. I never trusted my parents. In any matters to be kept a secret. I need help. I have nothing to vent with and i end up bottleing it. When it starts too leak, l have bad mood swings. I end up wanting to take my life or others. When I crry I want to hurt myself Im scared of what will happen.. But I cant stop it. Its getting out of control I see everything and i want it gone i want it dead! I cant stop it

 

[levity_awaits]

Dry your tears child. I've read your message and I am certainly here to help you. This abuse is not gonna last. I'm gonna put a stop to it. Not that I'm necessarily going to hurt your parents, but I plan to help you in unforseen ways. If you ever get another chance to talk online at all, message me on Yahoo at levity_awaits.

Hail Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "hafischer9501" <hafischer9501@... wrote:

I am crying as I write this. Me and my dad got into a big fight about school. He asked whats my motivation/drive. I told him that I diddent know because im scared of what he will do if I tell him. Im scared of what hell say. I dont know how to approach it, he asked for my goals in life. I again said I dont know. He came up and slapped me on the face. He asked the same question, Once again I said I dont know. He tried to slap me again but I blocked and rolled back on the bed. He just stared at me. Im scared, im alone. I cant chat online for another 4-6 years. I need people, I need face to face deep intelluctual conversations with people I trust and know. I need people that can understand and listen. I never trusted my parents. In any matters to be kept a secret. I need help. I have nothing to vent with and i end up bottleing it. When it starts too leak, l have bad mood swings. I end up wanting to take my life or others. When I crry I want to hurt myself Im scared of what will happen.. But I cant stop it. Its getting out of control I see everything and i want it gone i want it dead! I cant stop it

 

[esteban chavez]

i can help but with my help i teach fear nothing in life for fear stops the growth of self so if you want text me at 7852603176 if your a young satanist i can help you but its up to you

From: hafischer9501 <hafischer9501@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Mon, October 26, 2009 9:57:52 PM
Subject: [JoyofSatan666] Im alone and scared

  I am crying as I write this. Me and my dad got into a big fight about school. He asked whats my motivation/drive. I told him that I diddent know because im scared of what he will do if I tell him. Im scared of what hell say. I dont know how to approach it, he asked for my goals in life. I again said I dont know. He came up and slapped me on the face. He asked the same question, Once again I said I dont know. He tried to slap me again but I blocked and rolled back on the bed. He just stared at me. Im scared, im alone. I cant chat online for another 4-6 years. I need people, I need face to face deep intelluctual conversations with people I trust and know. I need people that can understand and listen. I never trusted my parents. In any matters to be kept a secret. I need help. I have nothing to vent with and i end up bottleing it. When it starts too leak, l have bad mood swings. I end up wanting to take my life or others. When I crry I want to hurt myself Im scared of what will happen.. But I cant stop it. Its getting out of control I see everything and i want it gone i want it dead! I cant stop it

 

[seekingtofindtruth]

I thought I would give you a different look at things.

Being a parent myself (mother of two teenage girls), I too worry about how they do in school, what they want to become, if I have taught them enough to get through life, etc.

I also worry (in this economy) about not being able to provide enough for them, losing our home to higher property tax, increase in mortgage payments, medical bills, food, clothing, utilities, etc.

Parents have a lot to deal with. Mostly on the financial end. Some parents are losing sleep over whether they will even have a job the next day. Alot of this leads to anger and frustration because these are all things that we cannot control.

However, even with these worries and the added money stress, I must state that I do not agree with your parents laying a hand on you in any physical way as a form of their "discipline". That is just my opinion though. Unfortunately, there are parents out there who take their anger and fear out on their children. This is wrong, because all the parent ends up doing is making the child feel as if it is their fault and that this is the normal way life is.

Always remember, Father Satan looks out for his own. If you feel you can't turn to your parents, then late at night, turn to Satan. He does hear you. Sometimes, the best help is just being able to speak what is in your heart and soul. Whether the one you are talking to is there in form or not. It is simply a need to "get it out".

Do not give up, for while you may feel right now it is unbearable, remember that one day you will be able to leave their control. While it may seem far off right now, the time will pass faster than you know.

My best suggestion right now is to avoid any type of confrontations, even if it means swollowing your pride and telling a lie. Such as "Dad, I am worried about school just as much as you are, but please remember that I'm just a kid and don't know everything you may want me to know,and I need you to understand that. I know you are worried about us and our future, but sometimes I feel as if you are taking that worry out on me."

Sometimes we parents do not realize we have done this to our children, and a gentle reminder that you are still kids with feelings can make all the difference.

Either way you decide to handle your situation, never forget, your life is worth it, your life does matter to Satan and others out here (including myself because I do not like to hear about children in this type of situation), you will get through this, and don't be afraid to ask Satan for help and protection. Work on protection meditations, maybe even creating a "barrier" in your room that will make them not want to go in there so you will have a "safe room".

Sorry this is so long, but I hope I at least help give you some ideas and a possibility as to why your parents may be so upset and angry. They are just handling it the wrong way.

Hail Satan always!!!!!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "hafischer9501" <hafischer9501@... wrote:

I am crying as I write this. Me and my dad got into a big fight about school. He asked whats my motivation/drive. I told him that I diddent know because im scared of what he will do if I tell him. Im scared of what hell say. I dont know how to approach it, he asked for my goals in life. I again said I dont know. He came up and slapped me on the face. He asked the same question, Once again I said I dont know. He tried to slap me again but I blocked and rolled back on the bed. He just stared at me. Im scared, im alone. I cant chat online for another 4-6 years. I need people, I need face to face deep intelluctual conversations with people I trust and know. I need people that can understand and listen. I never trusted my parents. In any matters to be kept a secret. I need help. I have nothing to vent with and i end up bottleing it. When it starts too leak, l have bad mood swings. I end up wanting to take my life or others. When I crry I want to hurt myself Im scared of what will happen.. But I cant stop it. Its getting out of control I see everything and i want it gone i want it dead! I cant stop it

 

[corpsedefiled]

When Smacked in the mouth break your opponents jaw...you might not be capale of this depending on how fat your dad is so just be a smartass, when your dad asks what you're going to do with your life say something like...I don't, I'll probly runaway, and when he goes to raise his hand to take his next swing, say and I'll go on to write a book about abusive fucks like you and I'll send that book to child services when I get done writing it and smile in his face and if he hits you again, enough is enough. No one needs to take that shit, if you've got family memebers who care, they'll understand why you should get out of your house. Don't cry, I know how it feels, I've been there...as hard and as arrogent (for lack of a better word) this may sound you can't cry about these things, sure you might feel better for about 3 seconds, but once the tears are dryed you're left with a heartless feeling and the problem is still there, you want to stop crying, so stop, do what you have to do about this problem and give your fuckin dada the big "fuck you" he deserves and get the fuck out

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "lancefireopus45" <lancefireopus45@... wrote:


your dad is an ass i hate asses he deserve a good butt whooping and a lesson on how to treat young kids and adults

call the cops on him tell them your dad keeps slapping you and demanding answers from you over questions you dont understand

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "hafischer9501" <hafischer9501@ wrote:

I am crying as I write this. Me and my dad got into a big fight about school. He asked whats my motivation/drive. I told him that I diddent know because im scared of what he will do if I tell him. Im scared of what hell say. I dont know how to approach it, he asked for my goals in life. I again said I dont know. He came up and slapped me on the face. He asked the same question, Once again I said I dont know. He tried to slap me again but I blocked and rolled back on the bed. He just stared at me. Im scared, im alone. I cant chat online for another 4-6 years. I need people, I need face to face deep intelluctual conversations with people I trust and know. I need people that can understand and listen. I never trusted my parents. In any matters to be kept a secret. I need help. I have nothing to vent with and i end up bottleing it. When it starts too leak, l have bad mood swings. I end up wanting to take my life or others. When I crry I want to hurt myself Im scared of what will happen.. But I cant stop it. Its getting out of control I see everything and i want it gone i want it dead! I cant stop it

 

[[email protected]]

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1


Holy fucking shit! I have dealt with this crap before.
I am NOT a pshychologist but please listen to what I have to say.
You have to sit down and be calm. Then you have to think about
whatt is REALLY hapening here.

You aer dealing with a person who feels insecure unless he applies
physical violence.
Remember that it is `his` problem, not yours.
You have the right to choose for yourself and be who or what ever
you want to be.

Yes, We are living in a world that is dominated by false doctrines
and stupid `sheep`. But deal with them in a way that willnot bring
you extra difficulty.

I hope that you are here beause you have knowledge of The Father ad
no tin a retributional way.

Freedom and real joy comes only to those who know the true Father



On Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:04:56 +0200 corpsedefiled
<corpsedefiled@... wrote:

When Smacked in the mouth break your opponents jaw...you might not
be capale of this depending on how fat your dad is so just be a
smartass, when your dad asks what you're going to do with your
life say something like...I don't, I'll probly runaway, and when
he goes to raise his hand to take his next swing, say and I'll go
on to write a book about abusive fucks like you and I'll send that
book to child services when I get done writing it and smile in his
face and if he hits you again, enough is enough. No one needs to
take that shit, if you've got family memebers who care, they'll
understand why you should get out of your house. Don't cry, I know
how it feels, I've been there...as hard and as arrogent (for lack
of a better word) this may sound you can't cry about these things,
sure you might feel better for about 3 seconds, but once the tears
are dryed you're left with a heartless feeling and the problem is
still there, you want to stop crying, so stop, do what you have to
do about this problem and give your fuckin dada the big "fuck you"
he deserves and get the fuck out

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "lancefireopus45"
<lancefireopus45@... wrote:


your dad is an ass i hate asses he deserve a good butt whooping
and a lesson on how to treat young kids and adults

call the cops on him tell them your dad keeps slapping you and
demanding answers from you over questions you dont understand

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "hafischer9501"
<hafischer9501@ wrote:

I am crying as I write this. Me and my dad got into a big
fight about school. He asked whats my motivation/drive. I told him
that I diddent know because im scared of what he will do if I tell
him. Im scared of what hell say. I dont know how to approach it,
he asked for my goals in life. I again said I dont know. He came
up and slapped me on the face. He asked the same question, Once
again I said I dont know. He tried to slap me again but I blocked
and rolled back on the bed. He just stared at me. Im scared, im
alone. I cant chat online for another 4-6 years. I need people, I
need face to face deep intelluctual conversations with people I
trust and know. I need people that can understand and listen. I
never trusted my parents. In any matters to be kept a secret. I
need help. I have nothing to vent with and i end up bottleing it.
When it starts too leak, l have bad mood swings. I end up wanting
to take my life or others. When I crry I want to hurt myself Im
scared of what will happen.. But I cant stop it. Its getting out
of control I see everything and i want it gone i want it dead! I
cant stop it

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