I think I'm going to end it all.

[HailMotherLilith]

You' all need to learn Slothz life.

:lol:

 

[Luna Black]

You' all need to learn Slothz life.

Teach us your ways Sloth-Sensei

 

[schwarze Krähe]

For the first time in my life I feel suicidal.
I am nothing but a failiure.
I feel like my existence has been cursed to be an endless loop of false hope and misery and suffering.
The only time I have ever truly felt love and happiness, is when I am close to the Gods.
So I feel like it is best to end this pathetic existence and join them in the great beyond.
Perhaps when I am reincarnated, I won't be a failiure like I am right now.
No matter what I do, I just fail at it. I become lazy, and procrastinate all day long. I try to do my best and be above average, but I always end up being just average.
All the ignorant kids at my school are so fucking happy. They have girlfriends. They have friends. People like them. But no one likes me.
Hardly anyone speaks to me anymore.
I am alone, because I am socially awkward and couldn't strike up a simple fucking conversation even if I tried.
I humiliate myself over and over again.
I just fail at everything, and whenever I try to fix something with meditaion or majick I just find some lame excuse not to do it. I have never been happy ever in the past few years of my life. Everything is a cycle of suffering.
And it is all because of those subhuman pieces of shit.
I never asked for any of this.
All I ever wanted was to live a happy life, but oh no! By just living and breathing, I have commited a crime worthy of death. I am nothing more than a slave to them.
I have to suffer, all for nothing.
I am stuck. Stuck in this limbo state where I accomplish nothing. Where everything just repeats. I tell Satan that I will change, that I will make something productive, and then next thing I know I find myself once again laying in bed crying like the loser that I am, begging Satan to help me for the millionth time. And I give nothing in return.
I feel like a xian.
At times I wonder If he has grown tired of my uselessness. If he is mad, or disappointed at me? But it's my fault I can't speak to him. Maybe if I wasn't a lazy piece of shit I would actually have done meditations so that I would achieve clairvoyance by now, but no. I was too lazy to do that. I was always lazy.
I love the fact that I fantasize of becoming a powerful God, but yet I have not even mastered the simplest of meditations even after an entire year of being SS. I am an embarassment to all of you guys. You guys are just so advanced and wise. And here I am, still at base 0. And I cannot help but feel you are all rolling your eyes and facepalming as you read this. And if you are, that's fine with me, because I feel like I deserve to be ridiculed for my weakness.

Joy of Satan, my old friends.

This is the last straw.

I want to be like all of you.
I want to be powerful.
I want to become the best that I possibly can.
I want to be free from this miserable life.
I want to prove myself to the Gods.
I want to feel happy.
I want to feel loved.
I want to break free of this cycle of insanity and torture.

So let me ask you something.
It is two simple words.

Help me.

-Jigsaw

Hello, allow me to introduce.
I'm a Brazilian SS who was looking for suicide, because
I've been thinking about this for a long time.


Well, I'm going through things similar to what you wrote about yourself.
even when I try to do the right things, I think positively (I am extremely negative), everything is wrong for me,
I try to rise and fall again and fall into a hole of infinite negativity.

I'm 20, I feel that everything in my life is wrong for some reason, it seems that there is a curse or some black cloud above me that makes everything go wrong, especially the social part because I have very few social skills and therefore I do not I have girls, which made me fall into depression several times during my life due to extreme lack and insecurity (this is very embarrassing for me), I even think it is a curse or karma, or something, but the fact is that this is simply destroying my mind and my psychology, I want to get rid of this limitation.

I'm in financial trouble, I can not get a job at all, I even dared to ask the Gods for help on this, but I still can not ... I insisted on the companies and nothing I'm doing makes it seem that I'm being denied on purpose by companies is really very difficult.
    Things are generally very difficult for me, with depression I do not feel like studying, meditating or doing anything, I just do not believe in myself anymore.
I already informed myself about suicide here and saw that it really can not do as it will get much worse if I actually do this.
    the only feeling I have now is to sleep and not wake up, because I see no hope, nothing works!

 I am very afraid of the future because I have few or no opportunities (I have already made some serious mistakes with other opportunities that I have had)
if everything goes on like this for a long time I think I'm going to end up committing suicide, it's really very sad, because I'm very tired.

 

[Dypet Rod]

For the first time in my life I feel suicidal.
I am nothing but a failiure.
I feel like my existence has been cursed to be an endless loop of false hope and misery and suffering.
The only time I have ever truly felt love and happiness, is when I am close to the Gods.
So I feel like it is best to end this pathetic existence and join them in the great beyond.
Perhaps when I am reincarnated, I won't be a failiure like I am right now.
No matter what I do, I just fail at it. I become lazy, and procrastinate all day long. I try to do my best and be above average, but I always end up being just average.
All the ignorant kids at my school are so fucking happy. They have girlfriends. They have friends. People like them. But no one likes me.
Hardly anyone speaks to me anymore.
I am alone, because I am socially awkward and couldn't strike up a simple fucking conversation even if I tried.
I humiliate myself over and over again.
I just fail at everything, and whenever I try to fix something with meditaion or majick I just find some lame excuse not to do it. I have never been happy ever in the past few years of my life. Everything is a cycle of suffering.
And it is all because of those subhuman pieces of shit.
I never asked for any of this.
All I ever wanted was to live a happy life, but oh no! By just living and breathing, I have commited a crime worthy of death. I am nothing more than a slave to them.
I have to suffer, all for nothing.
I am stuck. Stuck in this limbo state where I accomplish nothing. Where everything just repeats. I tell Satan that I will change, that I will make something productive, and then next thing I know I find myself once again laying in bed crying like the loser that I am, begging Satan to help me for the millionth time. And I give nothing in return.
I feel like a xian.
At times I wonder If he has grown tired of my uselessness. If he is mad, or disappointed at me? But it's my fault I can't speak to him. Maybe if I wasn't a lazy piece of shit I would actually have done meditations so that I would achieve clairvoyance by now, but no. I was too lazy to do that. I was always lazy.
I love the fact that I fantasize of becoming a powerful God, but yet I have not even mastered the simplest of meditations even after an entire year of being SS. I am an embarassment to all of you guys. You guys are just so advanced and wise. And here I am, still at base 0. And I cannot help but feel you are all rolling your eyes and facepalming as you read this. And if you are, that's fine with me, because I feel like I deserve to be ridiculed for my weakness.

Joy of Satan, my old friends.

This is the last straw.

I want to be like all of you.
I want to be powerful.
I want to become the best that I possibly can.
I want to be free from this miserable life.
I want to prove myself to the Gods.
I want to feel happy.
I want to feel loved.
I want to break free of this cycle of insanity and torture.

So let me ask you something.
It is two simple words.

Help me.

-Jigsaw

Hello, allow me to introduce.
I'm a Brazilian SS who was looking for suicide, because
I've been thinking about this for a long time.


Well, I'm going through things similar to what you wrote about yourself.
even when I try to do the right things, I think positively (I am extremely negative), everything is wrong for me,
I try to rise and fall again and fall into a hole of infinite negativity.

I'm 20, I feel that everything in my life is wrong for some reason, it seems that there is a curse or some black cloud above me that makes everything go wrong, especially the social part because I have very few social skills and therefore I do not I have girls, which made me fall into depression several times during my life due to extreme lack and insecurity (this is very embarrassing for me), I even think it is a curse or karma, or something, but the fact is that this is simply destroying my mind and my psychology, I want to get rid of this limitation.

I'm in financial trouble, I can not get a job at all, I even dared to ask the Gods for help on this, but I still can not ... I insisted on the companies and nothing I'm doing makes it seem that I'm being denied on purpose by companies is really very difficult.
    Things are generally very difficult for me, with depression I do not feel like studying, meditating or doing anything, I just do not believe in myself anymore.
I already informed myself about suicide here and saw that it really can not do as it will get much worse if I actually do this.
    the only feeling I have now is to sleep and not wake up, because I see no hope, nothing works!

 I am very afraid of the future because I have few or no opportunities (I have already made some serious mistakes with other opportunities that I have had)
if everything goes on like this for a long time I think I'm going to end up committing suicide, it's really very sad, because I'm very tired.

Hey, a fellow Brazilian Bem vindo ao fórum.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It's currently tough to get a job here in Brazil, so I feel you on that part. If you have any unique skills of your own, you could also consider starting your own business. I'm an English teacher and am currently developing my own English course which I plan to set up once I have everything ready.

As for the suicide part, as you could see it's definitely not an option for anyone of us. You seem to be new to Satanism. Once you start meditating consistently, you can start noticing a lot of gradual improvements on your life. Cleaning your soul, as well as freeing it from negativity, helps to attract positive things for us, as well as attracting that which we desire. So be consistent in cleaning your aura and doing the RTR, which works to free your soul.

Also, I suggest you start doing yoga, if you're not doing it already. Yoga gradually increases our bioelectricity levels, which can help to fight depression, as depression is often a symptom of low bioelectricity. Not to mention that bioelectricity is the very fuel that's used in magick. Magick is essentially directing energy through focusing on a goal, and the more energy we have for this, the more efficient it will be. When our energy levels are high, we cause many of our desires to manifest through will by itself. So start doing yoga at your own pace, in order to increase your energy levels.

By consistently practicing the above, in a matter of time you are likely to feel much better and more confident and no longer think of committing suicide. Not that this is a sure result, but it's likely to be of great help.

 

[Aldrick Strickland]

For the first time in my life I feel suicidal.
I am nothing but a failiure.
I feel like my existence has been cursed to be an endless loop of false hope and misery and suffering.
The only time I have ever truly felt love and happiness, is when I am close to the Gods.
So I feel like it is best to end this pathetic existence and join them in the great beyond.
Perhaps when I am reincarnated, I won't be a failiure like I am right now.
No matter what I do, I just fail at it. I become lazy, and procrastinate all day long. I try to do my best and be above average, but I always end up being just average.
All the ignorant kids at my school are so fucking happy. They have girlfriends. They have friends. People like them. But no one likes me.
Hardly anyone speaks to me anymore.
I am alone, because I am socially awkward and couldn't strike up a simple fucking conversation even if I tried.
I humiliate myself over and over again.
I just fail at everything, and whenever I try to fix something with meditaion or majick I just find some lame excuse not to do it. I have never been happy ever in the past few years of my life. Everything is a cycle of suffering.
And it is all because of those subhuman pieces of shit.
I never asked for any of this.
All I ever wanted was to live a happy life, but oh no! By just living and breathing, I have commited a crime worthy of death. I am nothing more than a slave to them.
I have to suffer, all for nothing.
I am stuck. Stuck in this limbo state where I accomplish nothing. Where everything just repeats. I tell Satan that I will change, that I will make something productive, and then next thing I know I find myself once again laying in bed crying like the loser that I am, begging Satan to help me for the millionth time. And I give nothing in return.
I feel like a xian.
At times I wonder If he has grown tired of my uselessness. If he is mad, or disappointed at me? But it's my fault I can't speak to him. Maybe if I wasn't a lazy piece of shit I would actually have done meditations so that I would achieve clairvoyance by now, but no. I was too lazy to do that. I was always lazy.
I love the fact that I fantasize of becoming a powerful God, but yet I have not even mastered the simplest of meditations even after an entire year of being SS. I am an embarassment to all of you guys. You guys are just so advanced and wise. And here I am, still at base 0. And I cannot help but feel you are all rolling your eyes and facepalming as you read this. And if you are, that's fine with me, because I feel like I deserve to be ridiculed for my weakness.

Joy of Satan, my old friends.

This is the last straw.

I want to be like all of you.
I want to be powerful.
I want to become the best that I possibly can.
I want to be free from this miserable life.
I want to prove myself to the Gods.
I want to feel happy.
I want to feel loved.
I want to break free of this cycle of insanity and torture.

So let me ask you something.
It is two simple words.

Help me.

-Jigsaw

I am Sure many of you here have felt the same way. Fighting at odds with everything in this life. Lack of friends and a surplus of enemies. Wondering how to make it day by day. The Jewish monetary system crushes you to the ground. Having to work, yet never having enough money to meet your needs.

Feeling Hopeless and full of dispair. The answer is quite simple. Throw yourself head first into Meditation and doing the ritual. Advance yourself with everything you have. Death will be here soon enough for those who do not escape it completely. So why not go down fighting with all you have?

Sometimes its not about feeling better. Its about accepting your pain and letting it make you stronger. People telling you oh no its fine, feel all sun shiny will do nothing. Motivation is a fleeting high. Sink to the lows and accept it. Let it make you stronger. Let it make you a warrior.

 

[Powstanie Pogańskie]

For the first time in my life I feel suicidal.
I am nothing but a failiure.
I feel like my existence has been cursed to be an endless loop of false hope and misery and suffering.
The only time I have ever truly felt love and happiness, is when I am close to the Gods.
So I feel like it is best to end this pathetic existence and join them in the great beyond.
Perhaps when I am reincarnated, I won't be a failiure like I am right now.
No matter what I do, I just fail at it. I become lazy, and procrastinate all day long. I try to do my best and be above average, but I always end up being just average.
All the ignorant kids at my school are so fucking happy. They have girlfriends. They have friends. People like them. But no one likes me.
Hardly anyone speaks to me anymore.
I am alone, because I am socially awkward and couldn't strike up a simple fucking conversation even if I tried.
I humiliate myself over and over again.
I just fail at everything, and whenever I try to fix something with meditaion or majick I just find some lame excuse not to do it. I have never been happy ever in the past few years of my life. Everything is a cycle of suffering.
And it is all because of those subhuman pieces of shit.
I never asked for any of this.
All I ever wanted was to live a happy life, but oh no! By just living and breathing, I have commited a crime worthy of death. I am nothing more than a slave to them.
I have to suffer, all for nothing.
I am stuck. Stuck in this limbo state where I accomplish nothing. Where everything just repeats. I tell Satan that I will change, that I will make something productive, and then next thing I know I find myself once again laying in bed crying like the loser that I am, begging Satan to help me for the millionth time. And I give nothing in return.
I feel like a xian.
At times I wonder If he has grown tired of my uselessness. If he is mad, or disappointed at me? But it's my fault I can't speak to him. Maybe if I wasn't a lazy piece of shit I would actually have done meditations so that I would achieve clairvoyance by now, but no. I was too lazy to do that. I was always lazy.
I love the fact that I fantasize of becoming a powerful God, but yet I have not even mastered the simplest of meditations even after an entire year of being SS. I am an embarassment to all of you guys. You guys are just so advanced and wise. And here I am, still at base 0. And I cannot help but feel you are all rolling your eyes and facepalming as you read this. And if you are, that's fine with me, because I feel like I deserve to be ridiculed for my weakness.

Joy of Satan, my old friends.

This is the last straw.

I want to be like all of you.
I want to be powerful.
I want to become the best that I possibly can.
I want to be free from this miserable life.
I want to prove myself to the Gods.
I want to feel happy.
I want to feel loved.
I want to break free of this cycle of insanity and torture.

So let me ask you something.
It is two simple words.

Help me.

-Jigsaw

I am Sure many of you here have felt the same way. Fighting at odds with everything in this life. Lack of friends and a surplus of enemies. Wondering how to make it day by day. The Jewish monetary system crushes you to the ground. Having to work, yet never having enough money to meet your needs.

Feeling Hopeless and full of dispair. The answer is quite simple. Throw yourself head first into Meditation and doing the ritual. Advance yourself with everything you have. Death will be here soon enough for those who do not escape it completely. So why not go down fighting with all you have?

Sometimes its not about feeling better. Its about accepting your pain and letting it make you stronger. People telling you oh no its fine, feel all sun shiny will do nothing. Motivation is a fleeting high. Sink to the lows and accept it. Let it make you stronger. Let it make you a warrior.

I think the enemy has tried to hit a great number of us with these feelings as of late, as is to be expected with how things have been panning out for them as of late. Members having rough emotional periods and upheavals in their personal lives that test their constitution. I've found myself accepting that I'm at a low point and truly there is something liberating and motivating in that. It's like it puts into perspective that there's in fact a path forward to take and shit will get better if I walk it. I've made a good deal of progress as of late so I've confirmed its possibility against enemy-induced doubt, but it's grown so blatant how desperate they've become in trying to sink people. I can feel how hateful and repugnant they are when I reflect on what they try to do to me and what others report experiencing. Continuing to fight against them daily genuinely is the only way out of the shit they try to pull, regardless of how long it may take.

 

[schwarze Krähe]

For the first time in my life I feel suicidal.
I am nothing but a failiure.
I feel like my existence has been cursed to be an endless loop of false hope and misery and suffering.
The only time I have ever truly felt love and happiness, is when I am close to the Gods.
So I feel like it is best to end this pathetic existence and join them in the great beyond.
Perhaps when I am reincarnated, I won't be a failiure like I am right now.
No matter what I do, I just fail at it. I become lazy, and procrastinate all day long. I try to do my best and be above average, but I always end up being just average.
All the ignorant kids at my school are so fucking happy. They have girlfriends. They have friends. People like them. But no one likes me.
Hardly anyone speaks to me anymore.
I am alone, because I am socially awkward and couldn't strike up a simple fucking conversation even if I tried.
I humiliate myself over and over again.
I just fail at everything, and whenever I try to fix something with meditaion or majick I just find some lame excuse not to do it. I have never been happy ever in the past few years of my life. Everything is a cycle of suffering.
And it is all because of those subhuman pieces of shit.
I never asked for any of this.
All I ever wanted was to live a happy life, but oh no! By just living and breathing, I have commited a crime worthy of death. I am nothing more than a slave to them.
I have to suffer, all for nothing.
I am stuck. Stuck in this limbo state where I accomplish nothing. Where everything just repeats. I tell Satan that I will change, that I will make something productive, and then next thing I know I find myself once again laying in bed crying like the loser that I am, begging Satan to help me for the millionth time. And I give nothing in return.
I feel like a xian.
At times I wonder If he has grown tired of my uselessness. If he is mad, or disappointed at me? But it's my fault I can't speak to him. Maybe if I wasn't a lazy piece of shit I would actually have done meditations so that I would achieve clairvoyance by now, but no. I was too lazy to do that. I was always lazy.
I love the fact that I fantasize of becoming a powerful God, but yet I have not even mastered the simplest of meditations even after an entire year of being SS. I am an embarassment to all of you guys. You guys are just so advanced and wise. And here I am, still at base 0. And I cannot help but feel you are all rolling your eyes and facepalming as you read this. And if you are, that's fine with me, because I feel like I deserve to be ridiculed for my weakness.

Joy of Satan, my old friends.

This is the last straw.

I want to be like all of you.
I want to be powerful.
I want to become the best that I possibly can.
I want to be free from this miserable life.
I want to prove myself to the Gods.
I want to feel happy.
I want to feel loved.
I want to break free of this cycle of insanity and torture.

So let me ask you something.
It is two simple words.

Help me.

-Jigsaw

I am Sure many of you here have felt the same way. Fighting at odds with everything in this life. Lack of friends and a surplus of enemies. Wondering how to make it day by day. The Jewish monetary system crushes you to the ground. Having to work, yet never having enough money to meet your needs.

Feeling Hopeless and full of dispair. The answer is quite simple. Throw yourself head first into Meditation and doing the ritual. Advance yourself with everything you have. Death will be here soon enough for those who do not escape it completely. So why not go down fighting with all you have?

Sometimes its not about feeling better. Its about accepting your pain and letting it make you stronger. People telling you oh no its fine, feel all sun shiny will do nothing. Motivation is a fleeting high. Sink to the lows and accept it. Let it make you stronger. Let it make you a warrior.

I discovered that a lot of entities and attacks, trying to make me give up Satanism and life, but I will not give up, there is always a way out, I was not doing the end rtr, I started right away .... worse than it seems, in the worst moments of despair, it is NEVER death. Good luck to all, always very helpful. HAIL SATAN