Bastards!

[firebird894]

I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.

I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.

What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.

I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.

If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.

Hail Satan.

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never condemns,only encourages us to do better.

Hail Enki
Brian 

--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!
To: [email protected]
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM

  I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.

I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.

What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.

I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.

If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.

Hail Satan.

[/TD]

 

[firebird894]

Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked up my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of a mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries and everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I know it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my strengths are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard on myself. I lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I started kicking my own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I take it too far. I have discovered things about myself since comming to Satan I didn't know before, some of it I don't like, some of it I do like. perhaps the hardest thing on this path for me is learning to accept myself and relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable so I can do something about it though because they sure know where to hit me where it hurts.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never condemns,only encourages us to do better.

Hail Enki

Brian 

--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM
















 









I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.



I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.



What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.



I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.



If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.



Hail Satan.

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]The only reason I know is because I have been there and done that.Over the years you start to ease up a little on  yourself,unless you are a slave to a slave religion.Then you are taught through very subtle means,that you are worthless to yourself and others.It takes time to get out of the mind set that we were in for so many years.But when I dedicated my life to Enki,He showed me that I had been lied to about my worth,and the benefet I am to humanity,and to Him and our Gods.

Hail Enki
Brian 

--- On Fri, 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: [email protected]
Date: Friday, May 11, 2012, 7:17 AM

  Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked up my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of a mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries and everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I know it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my strengths are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard on myself. I lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I started kicking my own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I take it too far. I have discovered things about myself since comming to Satan I didn't know before, some of it I don't like, some of it I do like. perhaps the hardest thing on this path for me is learning to accept myself and relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable so I can do something about it though because they sure know where to hit me where it hurts.

--- [/IMG][email protected], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never condemns,only encourages us to do better.

Hail Enki

Brian 

--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!
To: <a rel="nofollow">[email protected]
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM
















 









I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.



I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.



What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.



I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.



If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.



Hail Satan.

[/TD]

 

[Mike1]

I think that I've read somewhere before that when You start lerning about Yourself then You also start understanding yourself. And when You understand yourself, You can't hate nor hurt yourself. You are who you are and this cannot be changed. Denying this is like telling the sun not to shine or a sky not to be blue. Going against our own nature always ends up badly.We may not like things about ourselves, nobody's perfect and there's also a matter of how we percieve ourselves, who we think we are and not who we truly are. First we need to discover ourselves, then accept ourselves and only then we can work to better ourselves. We can't change something we don't acknowledge or even don't know about.And in the end, when we emerge victoroius from that battle, we discover that those perfect beings, that Gods that we are, is our true and only nature that we were trying to change yet still, this is the very nature we were going towards all along.This is the essence of "you are who you are".

Er... how come I wrote something like that?
 
Hail Satan and all the true Gods!
Hail Gods of War! 
/Mike
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 3:34 PM
Subject: Re: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!

 

<td style="font:[/IMG]The only reason I know is because I have been there and done that.Over the years you start to ease up a little on  yourself,unless you are a slave to a slave religion.Then you are taught through very subtle means,that you are worthless to yourself and others.It takes time to get out of the mind set that we were in for so many years.But when I dedicated my life to Enki,He showed me that I had been lied to about my worth,and the benefet I am to humanity,and to Him and our Gods.

Hail Enki
Brian 

--- On Fri, 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: [email protected]
Date: Friday, May 11, 2012, 7:17 AM

  Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked up my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of a mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries and everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I know it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my strengths are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard on myself. I lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I started kicking my own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I take it too far. I have discovered things about myself since comming to Satan I didn't know before, some of it I don't like, some of it I do like. perhaps the hardest thing on this path for me is learning to accept myself and relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable so I can do something about it though because they sure know where to hit me where it hurts.

--- [/IMG][email protected], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never condemns,only encourages us to do better.

Hail Enki

Brian 

--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!
To: <a rel="nofollow">[email protected]
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM
















 









I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.



I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.



What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.



I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.



If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.



Hail Satan.

[/TD]

 

[firebird894]

It's funny I see it when it's happening to others and I see it when it has happened to myself... as in afterward when I realise whats going on and then I get really angry and probably some of that anger is at myself.

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

The only reason I know is because I have been there and done that.Over the years you start to ease up a little on  yourself,unless you are a slave to a slave religion.Then you are taught through very subtle means,that you are worthless to yourself and others.It takes time to get out of the mind set that we were in for so many years.But when I dedicated my life to Enki,He showed me that I had been lied to about my worth,and the benefet I am to humanity,and to Him and our Gods.

Hail Enki

Brian 

--- On Fri, 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Friday, May 11, 2012, 7:17 AM
















 









Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked up my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of a mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries and everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I know it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my strengths are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard on myself. I lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I started kicking my own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I take it too far. I have discovered things about myself since comming to Satan I didn't know before, some of it I don't like, some of it I do like. perhaps the hardest thing on this path for me is learning to accept myself and relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable so I can do something about it though because they sure know where to hit me where it hurts.



--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:



Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never condemns,only encourages us to do better.



Hail Enki



Brian 



--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@ wrote:



From: firebird894 <firebird894@

Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!

To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]

Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM

































 



















I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.







I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.







What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.







I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.







If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.







Hail Satan.

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Enki over time has given me a love and exceptance for myself that I have never known before.


Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android [/TD]

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...;
To: <[email protected];
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
Sent: Fri, May 11, 2012 2:59:50 PM

<td val[/IMG]   It's funny I see it when it's happening to others and I see it when it has happened to myself... as in afterward when I realise whats going on and then I get really angry and probably some of that anger is at myself.

Hail Satan

--- [/IMG][email protected], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

The only reason I know is because I have been there and done that.Over the years you start to ease up a little on  yourself,unless you are a slave to a slave religion.Then you are taught through very subtle means,that you are worthless to yourself and others.It takes time to get out of the mind set that we were in for so many years.But when I dedicated my life to Enki,He showed me that I had been lied to about my worth,and the benefet I am to humanity,and to Him and our Gods.

Hail Enki

Brian 

--- On Fri, 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: <a rel="nofollow">[email protected]
Date: Friday, May 11, 2012, 7:17 AM
















 









Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked up my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of a mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries and everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I know it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my strengths are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard on myself. I lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I started kicking my own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I take it too far. I have discovered things about myself since comming to Satan I didn't know before, some of it I don't like, some of it I do like. perhaps the hardest thing on this path for me is learning to accept myself and relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable so I can do something about it though because they sure know where to hit me where it hurts.



--- [/IMG][email protected], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:



Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never condemns,only encourages us to do better.



Hail Enki



Brian 



--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@ wrote:



From: firebird894 <firebird894@

Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!

To: <a rel="nofollow">[email protected]

Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM

































 



















I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.







I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.







What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.







I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.







If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.







Hail Satan.

[/TD]

 

[firebird894]

Well, it makes sense Thankyou

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Mike <misza2@... wrote:

I think that I've read somewhere before that when You start lerning about Yourself then You also start understanding yourself. And when You understand yourself, You can't hate nor hurt yourself. You are who you are and this cannot be changed. Denying this is like telling the sun not to shine or a sky not to be blue. Going against our own nature always ends up badly.
We may not like things about ourselves, nobody's perfect and there's also a matter of how we percieve ourselves, who we think we are and not who we truly are. First we need to discover ourselves, then accept ourselves and only then we can work to better ourselves. We can't change something we don't acknowledge or even don't know about.
And in the end, when we emerge victoroius from that battle, we discover that those perfect beings, that Gods that we are, is our true and only nature that we were trying to change yet still, this is the very nature we were going towards all along.
This is the essence of "you are who you are".


Er... how come I wrote something like that?
 

Hail Satan and all the true Gods!
Hail Gods of War! 
/Mike


________________________________
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 3:34 PM
Subject: Re: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!


 
The only reason I know is because I have been there and done that.Over the years you start to ease up a little on  yourself,unless you are a slave to a slave religion.Then you are taught through very subtle means,that you are worthless to yourself and others.It takes time to get out of the mind set that we were in for so many years.But when I dedicated my life to Enki,He showed me that I had been lied to about my worth,and the benefet I am to humanity,and to Him and our Gods.

Hail Enki
Brian 

--- On Fri, 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:


From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Friday, May 11, 2012, 7:17 AM


 
Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked up my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of a mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries and everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I know it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my strengths are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard on myself. I lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I started kicking my own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I take it too far. I have discovered things about myself since comming to Satan I didn't know before, some of it I don't like, some of it I do like. perhaps the hardest thing on this path for me is learning to accept myself and relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable so I can do something about it though because they sure know where to hit me where it hurts.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never condemns,only encourages us to do better.

Hail Enki

Brian 

--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@ wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM
















 









I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.



I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.



What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.



I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.



If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.



Hail Satan.

 

[Allison P]

Hope you start to feel better soon, Sister! Just remember, this too
shall pass. Hang in there! Hail Father Satan!

On 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:
Well, it makes sense Thankyou

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Mike <misza2@... wrote:

I think that I've read somewhere before that when You start lerning about
Yourself then You also start understanding yourself. And when You
understand yourself, You can't hate nor hurt yourself. You are who you are
and this cannot be changed. Denying this is like telling the sun not to
shine or a sky not to be blue. Going against our own nature always ends up
badly.
We may not like things about ourselves, nobody's perfect and there's also
a matter of how we percieve ourselves, who we think we are and not who we
truly are. First we need to discover ourselves, then accept ourselves and
only then we can work to better ourselves. We can't change something we
don't acknowledge or even don't know about.
And in the end, when we emerge victoroius from that battle, we discover
that those perfect beings, that Gods that we are, is our true and only
nature that we were trying to change yet still, this is the very nature we
were going towards all along.
This is the essence of "you are who you are".


Er... how come I wrote something like that?
Â

Hail Satan and all the true Gods!
Hail Gods of War!Â
/Mike


________________________________
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 3:34 PM
Subject: Re: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!


Â
The only reason I know is because I have been there and done that.Over the
years you start to ease up a little on  yourself,unless you are a slave
to a slave religion.Then you are taught through very subtle means,that you
are worthless to yourself and others.It takes time to get out of the mind
set that we were in for so many years.But when I dedicated my life to
Enki,He showed me that I had been lied to about my worth,and the benefet I
am to humanity,and to Him and our Gods.

Hail Enki
BrianÂ

--- On Fri, 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:


From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Friday, May 11, 2012, 7:17 AM


Â
Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked up
my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of a
mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries and
everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I know
it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my strengths
are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard on myself. I
lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I started kicking my
own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I take it too far. I
have discovered things about myself since comming to Satan I didn't know
before, some of it I don't like, some of it I do like. perhaps the
hardest thing on this path for me is learning to accept myself and
relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable so I can do
something about it though because they sure know where to hit me where
it hurts.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@
wrote:

Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important
thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt
shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never
condemns,only encourages us to do better.

Hail Enki

BrianÂÂ

--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@ wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM
















ÂÂ









I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was
out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They
love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate
and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I
have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am
glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like
I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of
shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my
mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are
all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt
look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me
insane with worry.



I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why
would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I
would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on
that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and
doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like
I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die
I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods
will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part,
that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets
Ive lost and I will never see them again.



What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id
rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and
thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images
in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and
see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over,
I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole
life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past
lives come back, just little snapshots.



I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost
many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone
forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I
cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel
terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under
a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in
there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.



If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if
your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe,
eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as
you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a
real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't
the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's
happened to you... your not alone.



Hail Satan.

 

[Mike1]

Heh, I do seem to have good moments...From time to time.Most of the times I'm not even sure how it happens that I write something... well... deep. I don't even think about what I write and how I write, I just do.Does it make any sense at all?
 Hail Satan and all the true Gods!
Hail Gods of War! 
/Mike
From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 4:24 PM
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!

  Well, it makes sense Thankyou

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Mike <misza2@... wrote:

I think that I've read somewhere before that when You start lerning about Yourself then You also start understanding yourself. And when You understand yourself, You can't hate nor hurt yourself. You are who you are and this cannot be changed. Denying this is like telling the sun not to shine or a sky not to be blue. Going against our own nature always ends up badly.
We may not like things about ourselves, nobody's perfect and there's also a matter of how we percieve ourselves, who we think we are and not who we truly are. First we need to discover ourselves, then accept ourselves and only then we can work to better ourselves. We can't change something we don't acknowledge or even don't know about.
And in the end, when we emerge victoroius from that battle, we discover that those perfect beings, that Gods that we are, is our true and only nature that we were trying to change yet still, this is the very nature we were going towards all along.
This is the essence of "you are who you are".


Er... how come I wrote something like that?
 

Hail Satan and all the true Gods!
Hail Gods of War! 
/Mike


________________________________
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 3:34 PM
Subject: Re: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!


 
The only reason I know is because I have been there and done that.Over the years you start to ease up a little on  yourself,unless you are a slave to a slave religion.Then you are taught through very subtle means,that you are worthless to yourself and others.It takes time to get out of the mind set that we were in for so many years.But when I dedicated my life to Enki,He showed me that I had been lied to about my worth,and the benefet I am to humanity,and to Him and our Gods.

Hail Enki
Brian 

--- On Fri, 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:


From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Friday, May 11, 2012, 7:17 AM


 
Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked up my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of a mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries and everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I know it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my strengths are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard on myself. I lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I started kicking my own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I take it too far. I have discovered things about myself since comming to Satan I didn't know before, some of it I don't like, some of it I do like. perhaps the hardest thing on this path for me is learning to accept myself and relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable so I can do something about it though because they sure know where to hit me where it hurts.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never condemns,only encourages us to do better.

Hail Enki

Brian 

--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@ wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM
















 









I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.



I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.



What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.



I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.



If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.



Hail Satan.

 

[firebird894]

Yes it does your doing fine I think I might have made myself sick from worrying too much, stress will do that.

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Mike <misza2@... wrote:

Heh, I do seem to have good moments...
From time to time.
Most of the times I'm not even sure how it happens that I write something... well... deep. I don't even think about what I write and how I write, I just do.
Does it make any sense at all?

 
Hail Satan and all the true Gods!
Hail Gods of War! 
/Mike


________________________________
From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 4:24 PM
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!


 
Well, it makes sense Thankyou

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Mike <misza2@ wrote:

I think that I've read somewhere before that when You start lerning about Yourself then You also start understanding yourself. And when You understand yourself, You can't hate nor hurt yourself. You are who you are and this cannot be changed. Denying this is like telling the sun not to shine or a sky not to be blue. Going against our own nature always ends up badly.
We may not like things about ourselves, nobody's perfect and there's also a matter of how we percieve ourselves, who we think we are and not who we truly are. First we need to discover ourselves, then accept ourselves and only then we can work to better ourselves. We can't change something we don't acknowledge or even don't know about.
And in the end, when we emerge victoroius from that battle, we discover that those perfect beings, that Gods that we are, is our true and only nature that we were trying to change yet still, this is the very nature we were going towards all along.
This is the essence of "you are who you are".


Er... how come I wrote something like that?
 

Hail Satan and all the true Gods!
Hail Gods of War! 
/Mike


________________________________
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 3:34 PM
Subject: Re: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!


 
The only reason I know is because I have been there and done that.Over the years you start to ease up a little on  yourself,unless you are a slave to a slave religion.Then you are taught through very subtle means,that you are worthless to yourself and others.It takes time to get out of the mind set that we were in for so many years.But when I dedicated my life to Enki,He showed me that I had been lied to about my worth,and the benefet I am to humanity,and to Him and our Gods.

Hail Enki
Brian 

--- On Fri, 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@ wrote:


From: firebird894 <firebird894@
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Friday, May 11, 2012, 7:17 AM


 
Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked up my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of a mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries and everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I know it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my strengths are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard on myself. I lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I started kicking my own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I take it too far. I have discovered things about myself since comming to Satan I didn't know before, some of it I don't like, some of it I do like. perhaps the hardest thing on this path for me is learning to accept myself and relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable so I can do something about it though because they sure know where to hit me where it hurts.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never condemns,only encourages us to do better.

Hail Enki

Brian 

--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@ wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM
















 









I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.



I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.



What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.



I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.



If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.



Hail Satan.

 

[Allison P]

Sometimes the Gods write through us, without us asking them to. not
saying they are in your case, mike, but just putting that out there.
In any case, what you wrote made perfect sense to me. ^ Hail father
Satan!

On 5/13/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:
Yes it does your doing fine I think I might have made myself sick from
worrying too much, stress will do that.

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Mike <misza2@... wrote:

Heh, I do seem to have good moments...
From time to time.
Most of the times I'm not even sure how it happens that I write
something... well... deep. I don't even think about what I write and how I
write, I just do.
Does it make any sense at all?

Â
Hail Satan and all the true Gods!
Hail Gods of War!Â
/Mike


________________________________
From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 4:24 PM
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!


Â
Well, it makes sense Thankyou

Hail Satan

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Mike <misza2@ wrote:

I think that I've read somewhere before that when You start lerning
about Yourself then You also start understanding yourself. And when You
understand yourself, You can't hate nor hurt yourself. You are who you
are and this cannot be changed. Denying this is like telling the sun not
to shine or a sky not to be blue. Going against our own nature always
ends up badly.
We may not like things about ourselves, nobody's perfect and there's
also a matter of how we percieve ourselves, who we think we are and not
who we truly are. First we need to discover ourselves, then accept
ourselves and only then we can work to better ourselves. We can't change
something we don't acknowledge or even don't know about.
And in the end, when we emerge victoroius from that battle, we discover
that those perfect beings, that Gods that we are, is our true and only
nature that we were trying to change yet still, this is the very nature
we were going towards all along.
This is the essence of "you are who you are".


Er... how come I wrote something like that?
ÂÂ

Hail Satan and all the true Gods!
Hail Gods of War!ÂÂ
/Mike


________________________________
From: Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2012 3:34 PM
Subject: Re: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!


ÂÂ
The only reason I know is because I have been there and done that.Over
the years you start to ease up a little on  yourself,unless you are a
slave to a slave religion.Then you are taught through very subtle
means,that you are worthless to yourself and others.It takes time to get
out of the mind set that we were in for so many years.But when I
dedicated my life to Enki,He showed me that I had been lied to about my
worth,and the benefet I am to humanity,and to Him and our Gods.

Hail Enki
BrianÂÂ

--- On Fri, 5/11/12, firebird894 <firebird894@ wrote:


From: firebird894 <firebird894@
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Friday, May 11, 2012, 7:17 AM


ÂÂ
Thanks Brian, I know I can be a perfectionist to the extreme I looked
up my chart, Im no astrologer but it was in there. It looked a bit of
a mess to my untrained eye lots of fire Sun in Virgo. moon in Aries
and everything else all over the place and I am stubborn as a mule I
know it. I know there is lots of good stuff about me I know what my
strengths are and where I'm weak and you are right on I am very hard
on myself. I lived on my own a lot and with disfunctional people I
started kicking my own ass into action when I slacked off and maybe I
take it too far. I have discovered things about myself since comming
to Satan I didn't know before, some of it I don't like, some of it I
do like. perhaps the hardest thing on this path for me is learning to
accept myself and relax. I have to know where I am weak and vulnerable
so I can do something about it though because they sure know where to
hit me where it hurts.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@
wrote:

Don't be so hard on yourself,we all have some set backs.The important
thing is to get back to it as soon as possible.And remember that
guilt shit is not for us Gentiles,that is for the RHP's.Enki never
condemns,only encourages us to do better.

Hail Enki

BrianÂÂÂ

--- On Thu, 5/10/12, firebird894 <firebird894@ wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Bastards!
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2012, 1:11 AM
















ÂÂÂ









I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I
was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards.
They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to
meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I
feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression
big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am
embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and
I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my
fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never
met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last
name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I
just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.



I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan
why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he
couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't
only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling
like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just
nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I
have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul
will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get
me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family
who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them
again.



What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id
rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and
thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The
images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the
sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness
to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's
over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive
had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.



I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have
lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being
alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired.
I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still
feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit
under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when
I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for
her.



If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if
your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe,
eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as
you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been
a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they
havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall.
And if it's happened to you... your not alone.



Hail Satan.

 

[hoodedcobra666]

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "firebird894" <firebird894@... wrote:

I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.

I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.

What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.

I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.

If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.

Hail Satan.

I had some problems with my tummy some weeks ago. To say the least, with bad planets and shitty pisces moon they almost made me undo myself. The Good warrior knows how to turn everything to His advantage. While this shitty ass moon is perfect for getting people insane, its perfect for psychic healing too. I was truly suffering; nothing less. Hope seemingly was lost, at least I felt so in the surface, but I had faith in Satan and kept going. Worst days of my existance. To the point of twisting on the bed from the pain. On top of this the enemy is just so fucking weak. They don't come to fight when I'm all up, they just stay behind the scenes managing our fuckups, when in the hole they start dancing.

It all happened because I stopped hatha for 5 days [what a foolish idea to do so anyways], inflexibility caused other problems. When your energies are powerful NEVER stop hatha. Will fuck you up truly. Around the 1st night the Gods helped me just to have the guts to move on, nothing serious, but at the second night I asked Satan personally to solve this problem and help me heal. It happened with my efforts and Satan's guidance, by guiding me to proper medical care. I spend the whole night healing myself rentlessly. This really sped things up and showed me how much power I have in times or urgency when personal life is concerned. Sometimes if you fight for your survival, if you have a calm mind [yes I managed to have this even at the verge of suicide from pain and mental crap from them] this is when you have most power. The survival instict is strong. Was a true fucking test. I am proud of myself for passing, proud of you that you passed your own. You're a Warrior or you ain't one at all. Satan wants us all well alive and working for HIM. Don't ever ever stop and have a Faith found in Satan's eternal guidance.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

 

[hoodedcobra666]

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "firebird894" <firebird894@... wrote:

I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.

I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.

What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.

I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.

If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.

Hail Satan.

Don't be a total fucker on yourself firebird, you're strong on your faith anyways. They do exactly the same to me. Playing on the fact I don't know all my ascenstors. I tell you one thing, if you was a kike you would never cry for being one. All Satan does is what we deserve. Satan never leaves and never betrays unless we do it ourself and to ourselves. A kike does know that they are a kike. I was getting sick as I wrote in my other reply, and this opened a door that the enemy almost fucked me over from. But this is life.

You must KNOW and have a powerful faith in Satan. This is the only solution. We are all getting battered as a group if you haven't noticed with these "I'm a kike" psychic attacks. Don't give in. I never had these in my first year of Satanism, these started later, which indicates that its a message. They cloud our memory and understanding and yes they will try to force us to betray Satan or whatever. I won't and I refuse to follow any thoughts that keep me from working on myself and for Satan. You should refuse.

I had the same exact thing. You know what I did? Just kept going. Lol. Thats all about it.

I tell you one thing, suck it up and go on. Remember to spit it on their faces though. We are on a fucking war and they won't hesitate hitting you on the most sensitive part under your belt. This 'I didn't expect this attack' mentality is because People of Satan are Ethical. We are fighting a complete unethical and monstrous enemy. Faith in Satan isn't showed by not having negative thoughts or setbacks. Its SHOWN BY FIGHTING LIKE A BEASTIAL WARRIOR FOR HIM AND BEING ALWAYS PERSISTENT. Satan never induces fear in any being. Lack of knowledge induces fear.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!

 

[firebird894]

Im still here Thanks for those replies I am feeling much better today. I was a heavy smoker before I got sick I can't say Ive quit but Ive managed to cut down by heaps well I couldnt smoke for a week hardly because I was too sick so maybe this has helped me. I went from 25 - 30 smokes a day down to 3-4 and for me thats something i thought I would never be able to do. I imagine my lungs and organs full of white light before i go to bed each night and a bright gold sun shining in the centre of me perhaps this sickness was the only way I would snap out of what I was doing to myself and clean me out. I want to stop altogether and never want to smoke again I am very confident now I can do it.
The enemy thoughts have just about faded now and I can see it for what it was. Ive been bit by bit cleaning all my room and the house out to freshen the place up and move the energy in the place around it was feeling pretty bad.
I havn't started yoga yet I have DVDs and stuff ready but I know I can't stop once I start so as yet hadn't started. I do a good bit of stretching and excersise but I want to start the Yoga soon.

I hope your feeling better!

Hail Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "hoodedcobra666" <hoodedcobra666@... wrote:



--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "firebird894" <firebird894@ wrote:

I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.

I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.

What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.

I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.

If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.

Hail Satan.

I had some problems with my tummy some weeks ago. To say the least, with bad planets and shitty pisces moon they almost made me undo myself. The Good warrior knows how to turn everything to His advantage. While this shitty ass moon is perfect for getting people insane, its perfect for psychic healing too. I was truly suffering; nothing less. Hope seemingly was lost, at least I felt so in the surface, but I had faith in Satan and kept going. Worst days of my existance. To the point of twisting on the bed from the pain. On top of this the enemy is just so fucking weak. They don't come to fight when I'm all up, they just stay behind the scenes managing our fuckups, when in the hole they start dancing.

It all happened because I stopped hatha for 5 days [what a foolish idea to do so anyways], inflexibility caused other problems. When your energies are powerful NEVER stop hatha. Will fuck you up truly. Around the 1st night the Gods helped me just to have the guts to move on, nothing serious, but at the second night I asked Satan personally to solve this problem and help me heal. It happened with my efforts and Satan's guidance, by guiding me to proper medical care. I spend the whole night healing myself rentlessly. This really sped things up and showed me how much power I have in times or urgency when personal life is concerned. Sometimes if you fight for your survival, if you have a calm mind [yes I managed to have this even at the verge of suicide from pain and mental crap from them] this is when you have most power. The survival instict is strong. Was a true fucking test. I am proud of myself for passing, proud of you that you passed your own. You're a Warrior or you ain't one at all. Satan wants us all well alive and working for HIM. Don't ever ever stop and have a Faith found in Satan's eternal guidance.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

 

[Allison P]

Most wise and inspirational words, Cobra! Thanks so much for posting.
Needed that today. ^ Bottom line? I do not care what the fucking enemy
throws at me; I would never, in a trillion years, betray my wonderful
Father Satan, or indeed any of my infernal family. The enemy can go
fuck itself! Their words are always all false, and I know this deep
down, no matter what they may try to convince me of.

Hey, great! Glad you're feeling better sis. Best of success with the
not smoking. Know you can do it! Hail Father Satan always!

On 5/16/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:
Im still here Thanks for those replies I am feeling much better today. I
was a heavy smoker before I got sick I can't say Ive quit but Ive managed to
cut down by heaps well I couldnt smoke for a week hardly because I was too
sick so maybe this has helped me. I went from 25 - 30 smokes a day down to
3-4 and for me thats something i thought I would never be able to do. I
imagine my lungs and organs full of white light before i go to bed each
night and a bright gold sun shining in the centre of me perhaps this
sickness was the only way I would snap out of what I was doing to myself and
clean me out. I want to stop altogether and never want to smoke again I am
very confident now I can do it.
The enemy thoughts have just about faded now and I can see it for what it
was. Ive been bit by bit cleaning all my room and the house out to freshen
the place up and move the energy in the place around it was feeling pretty
bad.
I havn't started yoga yet I have DVDs and stuff ready but I know I can't
stop once I start so as yet hadn't started. I do a good bit of stretching
and excersise but I want to start the Yoga soon.

I hope your feeling better!

Hail Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "hoodedcobra666" <hoodedcobra666@...
wrote:



--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "firebird894" <firebird894@ wrote:

I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of
it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it
when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep
it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been
torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone
could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't
deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am
terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is
gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in
the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me
but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with
worry.

I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why
would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I
would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on
that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and
doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like
I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die
I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will
destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that
they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost
and I will never see them again.

What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id
rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts
that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my
head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what
I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can
barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has
been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives
come back, just little snapshots.

I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost
many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone
forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned
my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel
terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a
hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in
there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.

If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if
your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat
etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you
can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real
kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the
balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's
happened to you... your not alone.

Hail Satan.

I had some problems with my tummy some weeks ago. To say the least, with
bad planets and shitty pisces moon they almost made me undo myself. The
Good warrior knows how to turn everything to His advantage. While this
shitty ass moon is perfect for getting people insane, its perfect for
psychic healing too. I was truly suffering; nothing less. Hope seemingly
was lost, at least I felt so in the surface, but I had faith in Satan and
kept going. Worst days of my existance. To the point of twisting on the
bed from the pain. On top of this the enemy is just so fucking weak. They
don't come to fight when I'm all up, they just stay behind the scenes
managing our fuckups, when in the hole they start dancing.

It all happened because I stopped hatha for 5 days [what a foolish idea to
do so anyways], inflexibility caused other problems. When your energies
are powerful NEVER stop hatha. Will fuck you up truly. Around the 1st
night the Gods helped me just to have the guts to move on, nothing
serious, but at the second night I asked Satan personally to solve this
problem and help me heal. It happened with my efforts and Satan's
guidance, by guiding me to proper medical care. I spend the whole night
healing myself rentlessly. This really sped things up and showed me how
much power I have in times or urgency when personal life is concerned.
Sometimes if you fight for your survival, if you have a calm mind [yes I
managed to have this even at the verge of suicide from pain and mental
crap from them] this is when you have most power. The survival instict is
strong. Was a true fucking test. I am proud of myself for passing, proud
of you that you passed your own. You're a Warrior or you ain't one at all.
Satan wants us all well alive and working for HIM. Don't ever ever stop
and have a Faith found in Satan's eternal guidance.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

<td val[/IMG]Good to here you are making positive improvements in your life.

Hail Enki
Brian 

--- On Thu, 5/17/12, firebird894 <firebird894@... wrote:

From: firebird894 <firebird894@...
Subject: [HellsArmy666] Re: Bastards!
To: [email protected]
Date: Thursday, May 17, 2012, 3:27 AM

  Im still here Thanks for those replies I am feeling much better today. I was a heavy smoker before I got sick I can't say Ive quit but Ive managed to cut down by heaps well I couldnt smoke for a week hardly because I was too sick so maybe this has helped me. I went from 25 - 30 smokes a day down to 3-4 and for me thats something i thought I would never be able to do. I imagine my lungs and organs full of white light before i go to bed each night and a bright gold sun shining in the centre of me perhaps this sickness was the only way I would snap out of what I was doing to myself and clean me out. I want to stop altogether and never want to smoke again I am very confident now I can do it.
The enemy thoughts have just about faded now and I can see it for what it was. Ive been bit by bit cleaning all my room and the house out to freshen the place up and move the energy in the place around it was feeling pretty bad.
I havn't started yoga yet I have DVDs and stuff ready but I know I can't stop once I start so as yet hadn't started. I do a good bit of stretching and excersise but I want to start the Yoga soon.

I hope your feeling better!

Hail Satan!

--- [/IMG][email protected], "hoodedcobra666" <hoodedcobra666@... wrote:



--- [/IMG][email protected], "firebird894" <firebird894@ wrote:

I was doing really well then I got some flu bug, and while I was out of it and feeling like shit they smashed me fucking cowards. They love it when we get sick and our defences are down. I tried to meditate and keep it up but I know I missed maybe 48 hours there I feel like I have been torn apart inside. I dropped into depression big time I am glad noone could see me, well Father could I am embarrassed I feel like I don't deserve all he has done for me and I'm a worthless peice of shit I am terrified that somewhere on my fathers side... I know my mothers side is gentile but I have never met my fathers family they are all overseas in the USA and his last name is on the Kike list. He dosnt look it to me but I don't know I just don't know and it has driven me insane with worry.

I keep telling myself if it were true I wouldn't be here with Satan why would he give me signs he accepts me if that were true he couldn't I would be doomed forever. I'm a fucking mess, they havn't only played on that with me, I am terrified of dying I keep feeling like Im dying, and doomed to a black hole of nothing, that I am just nothing, I feel like I'm being laughed at and spat on in a way. I have fears that when I die I will be torn apart and worse, my soul will be doomed and the Gods will destroy me, and the enemy will get me and this is the worst part, that they have the souls of my family who have died already and pets Ive lost and I will never see them again.

What kind of evil disgusting creatures would do this to anyone? Id rather just be shot or destroyed than have the kind of fear and thoughts that have come in the last 3 days it's unspeakable. The images in my head I can't make stop... Im about to go outside in the sun and see what I can do for myself. I just want all this ugliness to be over, I can barely imagine how good life will be when it's over. My whole life has been one long train wreck and I am tired. Ive had bits of past lives come back, just little snapshots.

I have a terrible fear of loosing everyone I love, I already have lost many and they love to use that one on me, Im afraid of being alone forever and I felt like I was, it didn't let up I am so tired. I cleaned my aura as well as I could but I still feel dirty. I still feel terrified. Just for icing on the cake all I wanted to do was sit under a hot shower and meditate and the hot water pressure dies when I go in there, wtf is with that? My mother said it works fine for her.

If any of you get sick keep meditating no matter how bad you feel, if your hanging over a toilet or half awake and shaking, can't breathe, eat etc find some little bit of focus somewhere and use it as much as you can you DO NOT want to experience what I did, no way it has been a real kick in the ass, they will hit you when you are low they havn't the balls to take you on your feet when your standing tall. And if it's happened to you... your not alone.

Hail Satan.

I had some problems with my tummy some weeks ago. To say the least, with bad planets and shitty pisces moon they almost made me undo myself. The Good warrior knows how to turn everything to His advantage. While this shitty ass moon is perfect for getting people insane, its perfect for psychic healing too. I was truly suffering; nothing less. Hope seemingly was lost, at least I felt so in the surface, but I had faith in Satan and kept going. Worst days of my existance. To the point of twisting on the bed from the pain. On top of this the enemy is just so fucking weak. They don't come to fight when I'm all up, they just stay behind the scenes managing our fuckups, when in the hole they start dancing.

It all happened because I stopped hatha for 5 days [what a foolish idea to do so anyways], inflexibility caused other problems. When your energies are powerful NEVER stop hatha. Will fuck you up truly. Around the 1st night the Gods helped me just to have the guts to move on, nothing serious, but at the second night I asked Satan personally to solve this problem and help me heal. It happened with my efforts and Satan's guidance, by guiding me to proper medical care. I spend the whole night healing myself rentlessly. This really sped things up and showed me how much power I have in times or urgency when personal life is concerned. Sometimes if you fight for your survival, if you have a calm mind [yes I managed to have this even at the verge of suicide from pain and mental crap from them] this is when you have most power. The survival instict is strong. Was a true fucking test. I am proud of myself for passing, proud of you that you passed your own. You're a Warrior or you ain't one at all. Satan wants us all well alive and working for HIM. Don't ever ever stop and have a Faith found in Satan's eternal guidance.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

[/TD]