Sexuality #79192 first sexual intimacy

[Ask Satya Operator]

I'm a 20 year old female, and i have a boyfriend. I'm with for 5 months, and both of us arenot really sexually active, we are each other's first. we have been trying to have sex for 3 times now and it just won't work. he goes soft, i get hurt so much. weird thing is that i can normally do it other ways. but when it comes to having sex with him, it really hurts and i can't bear it. I'm starting to really believe this is something spiritual. what can i do to fix this? i love him and i feel horrible for not being able to satisfy him or myself during intimacy.

 

[hailourtruegod]

It can be nervousness on his part being his first time but also I would ask if your partner watches porn as the latter guarantees for men to have intimacy problems with their partner.

 

[AFODO]

Are you of the same race/ethnicity?
I would start with masturbation, level one is he does it for you, than he does it for himself (if that's okay for him) but you can do things like kissing his neck and so on, then the second level is that you do it for him (WHATCH TUTORIALS!!) not from porn sites but there are a lot of erotica vlogs on how to do hand jobs / blowjobs correctly and so on.
Have some foreplay but not too much like a hour long, he can get exhausted.
I do think the same as Hailourtruegod that this is probably nervousness from his end. Don't be sad it's very probably not your fault entirely. But again watch tutorials. And yes I think it can be astrological as well, perhaps start with a freeing working (focus on both of you, and on the relationship itself), and then a blessing working (choose a rune from the site, I don't know from the top of my head which one is good for this, and bless your relationship with it).

 

[MT88]

Have him eat eggs and the erectile dysfunction might get resolved. In addition to what hailourtruegod said about porn, if your boyfriend lives a sedentary lifestyle (poor blood circulation and low T), that's also a factor

 

[Eligos Devotee 666]

I'm a 20 year old female, and i have a boyfriend. I'm with for 5 months, and both of us arenot really sexually active, we are each other's first. we have been trying to have sex for 3 times now and it just won't work. he goes soft, i get hurt so much. weird thing is that i can normally do it other ways. but when it comes to having sex with him, it really hurts and i can't bear it. I'm starting to really believe this is something spiritual. what can i do to fix this? i love him and i feel horrible for not being able to satisfy him or myself during intimacy.

It gets tighter when youre stressed etc. that might be why you could get it when you were by your own.My advice would be:Have couple of warm shower w him without sex than after a while when youre really relaxed u guys might success. also massage and trying a female dominant position can help too.

 

[the_eye_of_anubis]

I'm a 20 year old female, and i have a boyfriend. I'm with for 5 months, and both of us arenot really sexually active, we are each other's first. we have been trying to have sex for 3 times now and it just won't work. he goes soft, i get hurt so much. weird thing is that i can normally do it other ways. but when it comes to having sex with him, it really hurts and i can't bear it. I'm starting to really believe this is something spiritual. what can i do to fix this? i love him and i feel horrible for not being able to satisfy him or myself during intimacy.

In my opinion one of the solutions to this is communication. Maybe you both have unconscious fears or unrealistic expectaction on how it should be and this translates into a bad sex performance. Try sitting at a table and tell each other what are your fears, your desires and your worries and it's highly probable that things will get better.

You also have to take into account that, since it's the first time for both of you, it's normal that not everything is perfect yet: you have to get to know each other and understand what the other likes. With time, and with the advice that we gave you, you'll see that things will improve.