AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
been a hardcore xian, from birth to well...only recently, in that time-frame as a xian, i joined self-loathing fringe "messianic jewish/born-again" groups all my life, there are however...other factors outside of that as to why im even in this severely hopeless predicament (sadly its part of by natal chart too, my "high self" is practically wired to being abused, joining bad groups [xian cults], being pushed off to the side for everyone else's benefit - and suffering EVEN MORE when one tries to 'fight back') and I live around devout xians of all kinds (be it catholics, protestants, messianic jews),....i notice everytime that i do a working, ANY working, be it wealth, sex life, AND even those aimed removing curses and freeing the soul, or even just ANY spiritual practice in general, let's just say "shit" ends up happening - it's either that or my stupid traumized mind simply "thinks" shit is just happening and overreacts to little things. isn't spiritual practice meant to do THE OPPOSITE? it seems this is turning into a "peaceful slave vs. dangerous freedom" thing for me....i remember during the 20th or so-day of qi gong practice, i ended up accidentilly knocking over a drink on my laptop, forcing me to beg my parents (who already subconciously think of me as a loser) to buy me a laptop...i'm fucked...is there even any way out?
