So today I moved in a new apartment mixed with gays. I feel so uncomfortable around them. I mean no offense to our gay brothers out here. Its just that they are xian and doing dirty talks about men in front of me. I am a straight dude and I feel disgusted in that way.
I don't want to be with other people but I really thought that I have no other choice since owning the apartment on my own would cost me much more money. Now I am full of regrets because I should have just chosen an apartment where I can live solo even if it would cost me much up to the point of borrowing someone else's money and go in debt for the time being.
And now I have almost no privacy to meditate and do rtrs in a very effective way. I can still do yoga but that's it. I don't want to waste my day. Please give me an advice. I still have a lot of things to do. I don't want to delay my progress because of this.
Even at the age of 25, Some of my decisions gave me a complicated situation. My personality being too good in others is giving me difficulties. On the outside I'm saying its okay but what really happening on the inside is the exact opposite. I thought I can freely express myself but I'm still being shackled by my own character. I am still afraid to hurt someone. I really hate this character but I can't get out of this moment. I AM A COWARD.
Actually I already have a solution but still there's still a guilt in me. I was planning to talk with the owner and talk to my roommates about what I really felt and I would just move out. But again my cowardice is killing me.
I don't want to be with other people but I really thought that I have no other choice since owning the apartment on my own would cost me much more money. Now I am full of regrets because I should have just chosen an apartment where I can live solo even if it would cost me much up to the point of borrowing someone else's money and go in debt for the time being.
And now I have almost no privacy to meditate and do rtrs in a very effective way. I can still do yoga but that's it. I don't want to waste my day. Please give me an advice. I still have a lot of things to do. I don't want to delay my progress because of this.
Even at the age of 25, Some of my decisions gave me a complicated situation. My personality being too good in others is giving me difficulties. On the outside I'm saying its okay but what really happening on the inside is the exact opposite. I thought I can freely express myself but I'm still being shackled by my own character. I am still afraid to hurt someone. I really hate this character but I can't get out of this moment. I AM A COWARD.
Actually I already have a solution but still there's still a guilt in me. I was planning to talk with the owner and talk to my roommates about what I really felt and I would just move out. But again my cowardice is killing me.