Sexuality #77790 Problems with sexuality and privacy

[AskSatanOperator]

First of all, I apologize for saying these things so bluntly.

I am a woman, I want to have sex, I've been craving it for some time...
But I am scared. I have tons of worries like what if the person I choose hurts me, what if they record it and use it against me, my choices of men were wrong lately. I'm scared. But I can't claim I don't need it. Besides, my family is oppressive and even though I am in my early 20s, they are very much involved in what I wear, who I go out with and what I do. My parents are very oppressive, so much so that I find it hard to think that they do it to protect me, sometimes I think they just like to keep me in a cage. They still read my diary, and hiding my clothes they find “sensual”. How can I get rid of these people? I'm thinking of trying to move to a different house, to work and go to school. But rents in my area are sky-high and the apartments I can afford are not very safe. I started doing money spells...

Besides that, I try to satisfy my sexual need through masturbation. Sometimes my vagina contracts and closes itself. I don't know what is causing this, the Moon and Venus in my birth chart are not in very good positions. When I am very open and healthy, the next day I find a wall there. This has been the case since the first time I started menstruating, it stopped when I had Venus squares, but it started again before a couple of months. What should I do?

 

[AFODO]

Leave these fears behind, if you really need it you can also just have a one time occasion with someone. For moving out, the best if you find a partner for this and two of you might afford something. Do love spell for this. You can also program the energy from your orgasm towards this goal, no need for a specific runic working or something.

 

[Karnonnos [TG]]

Move out. Your parents are going absolutely overboard reading your private diary in your early twenties. That is crazy, probably contributing to your anxiety.

As long as you are Dedicated, use AoP, have some discernment and use sexual protection (i.e. condoms), the majority of bad things from casual relationships will not occur. Do not be afraid to pursue sex or love, fear here can create blockages and negative outcomes, but this is very difficult when parents breathe down your neck like that.

Moon/Venus Squares can heal the contracting issue.

 

[MT88]

Something important to know to ease your worries about relationship synastry/compatibility is making sure that their Saturn doesn't make any hard aspects to your chart ruler or your other planets relevant to the relationship. This can be determined even without an exact time of birth, just needing the birthday. A little bit of osint knowledge can help you find this on his social media profiles or with background search.

Shinzo Abe when he was assassinated, his killer's Saturn (28 degrees Virgo) was tightly conjunct Shinzo's chart ruling Sun at 27 degrees. OJ Simpson and Nicole was another famous example where this can be seen, plus numerous others

I wish you success in moving out for your independence. The above also applies to friends/roommates you move in with

 

[Serpent13]

I'm wondering if with such controlling and invasive parents, if you're not desperate to breathe a little and to have some fun? I think you should be careful not to jump into sex with someone who might do those things you mentioned, because of that. I think you should find a way to get some independence first...

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

Being male and older, it happened I have met women with sexual hangups, and I also talked about this deeply.
I have personal knowledge about traumas and how they affect the mind, on myself too.
It is way more common than you think, depending on where you live and kind of education you receive.
Don't feel "wrong", it is not you. It happens to many women, it's other people's fault, repressing sexuality, not your fault in any way! Guaranteed.

I am really fed up of reading people whose lives have been ruined to the point they cannot even have sex. You know, I knew a woman who was even scared of washing her vagina because of fear of touching her intimate zones. Is that life or emotional death? Is that fair? It is due to centuries of repression of sex, but mainly of WOMEN. Look at islam : it is the same of xianity, some centuries ago. Women were treated worst than dogs, with no rights. Imagine what a woman's mind may think about her own sexuality and intimacy. It is horrible and, even if I am male, I fully and eagerly support the respect of women and their nature, now more than ever. I left my family and cut them off my life as they are stupid abusive woman-repressers and exploiters.
The consequence of this heavy repression, programming and violence, through previous lives and mass mind power, it is exactly what you find in your mind right now.

I am truly and deeply sorry for you. Being 20 and not able to enjoy life at the fullest. You are in the age of joy!
You will find joy, soon, and I express my deep empathy for your suffering.

As many others said, really move out of there!
If you ask guidance to your Guardian Demon to find a good place, you will find it. There's plenty of jobs for people who want to "move hands".

Your reactions to sexuality, are linked to some traumas your mind received. The first trauma is being educated by a family like yours, who only instilled in their childrens' minds fear, resentment, and sense of being unworthy and of no value, plus hate for own body and self. All of this leads to severe hang-ups that are stored into the subconscious mind. While the conscious mind wants to have a god sex, the unconscious (programmed and traumatized) wants to avoid that, so a clash occurs with mind confusion.

Apart of deep meditations like Munka, emotional body healing by HPs Lydia, detaching unwanted people (family) from your chakras, that are paramount and needed, you will need to reprogram your mind.
The Demons may guide you through life experiences that may recall your traumas or confront your programming, by positive situations. They did with me, extensively, and I understtood how it works and its benefits. The Demons are extremely smart in this, ask for guidance!

Oh, the key to success here is : loving yourself and your body.
Sexual repression leads to self-hate, because they teach you to hate a part of you : sexual organs and sexuality. It is part of human nature so, when they tell you it is "wrong", 100% you will end up hating yourself for even having a sexual desire. Because all people have sexual desires : it is normal and natural. So, it leads to self hate.

Don't hate yourself. I am sure you are a wonderful being, for the sole reason you chose to write on this Spiritual Forum and you are for sure Dedicated to the True God!
This means, being of high value. Love yourself and your sexuality, and the world of joy will open up in front of your eyes.
Don't be silent, don't repress your sorrow, vent out on here. Talk. You will be listened and feel better.

Seriously, take care.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

contracts and closes itself.

I just forgot. It's your programmed unconscious mind, trying to desperately prevent you from having sex, as those muscles are not under conscious control of the mind.
Reprogramming may fix this.

 

[Proshat]

Unfortunately being a woman means you will never have any privacy. Know this and know peace.
As about your diary I had the same problem. I ended up inventing a whole different language to write about Gods, Goddesses and my experiences because I always forget my experiences.
I didn't even decide to learn another language because they could just use google translate.
Use symbols and create your own language.
Use easy symbols for yourself so it won't be hard to read them later.
I can't help with the other part because I agree with my parents on not having sex.

 

[Pammy]

Hello sister!

First of all, I apologize for saying these things so bluntly.

Do not apologize. It is not your fault. Women are forced to feel shame for our natural needs by oppressive enemy programs.

Check Mars too! Love-making is Venus and pure sexual energy is Mars. The Moon energy can help your cycles. It is normal to have a higher desire level and wetness on the days you are more likely to get pregnant. As the Moon rules liquids, hormones, and your cycle, and considering it has to do with how ''receptive'' you are in general, yes this problem can be related to the Moon. Though I have to say that when Mars has difficult aspects to Saturn, this seems to be causing sexual blockages both in men and women. Oppressed sexuality, difficulty in letting go of control and relaxing, and delayed orgasm because Mars is our sexual energy and Saturn is discipline, control, time, bindings, etc.

I feel you. The housing crisis is global. Best of luck getting out of there.

 

[AskSatanOperator]

Thank you very much for your answers.
I really want to move, I need it so much but they are paying for the school I am going to now and I am afraid that if I leave they will stop supporting me financially. Especially if I move and live with a partner, I will be considered a whore in the eyes of all my family and I will have nothing to do with them. Working hard and moving alone would have the same result because I am a woman.

I'm chained to them I guess? The cost of my school is too much for someone my age to pay. Sometimes I think about giving it up for my freedom and making a new start, and it's been a year since I started this school. I haven't lost much, it's just a pity for the 200k they have payed. Do you think I should do it still? I feel sorry for them, but I don't want to lose my individuality and my sanity. What do you think?

 

[AskSatanOperator]

And the situation with my father is a bit more complicated. Somehow he is always aware of what I do. And from my brothers... He always says things like “I don't need to check your phone to know who you talk to, I don't need to read your diary to know what you are up to, I already know it all”. And somehow he really knows... For example.. that I'm a Zevist.

When I had smoked cigarettes before, when my friends tried to get me to try marijuana (which I never did), he somehow knew about it and called me home extremely angry while all this happens. He knew about meditations, my lovers and much more. He is highly interested in occult, almost for 20 years but on the pislamic side... I feel I've been watched by him since I was little.

 

[AskSatanOperator]

Being male and older, it happened I have met women with sexual hangups, and I also talked about this deeply.
I have personal knowledge about traumas and how they affect the mind, on myself too.
It is way more common than you think, depending on where you live and kind of education you receive.
Don't feel "wrong", it is not you. It happens to many women, it's other people's fault, repressing sexuality, not your fault in any way! Guaranteed.

I am really fed up of reading people whose lives have been ruined to the point they cannot even have sex. You know, I knew a woman who was even scared of washing her vagina because of fear of touching her intimate zones. Is that life or emotional death? Is that fair? It is due to centuries of repression of sex, but mainly of WOMEN. Look at islam : it is the same of xianity, some centuries ago. Women were treated worst than dogs, with no rights. Imagine what a woman's mind may think about her own sexuality and intimacy. It is horrible and, even if I am male, I fully and eagerly support the respect of women and their nature, now more than ever. I left my family and cut them off my life as they are stupid abusive woman-repressers and exploiters.
The consequence of this heavy repression, programming and violence, through previous lives and mass mind power, it is exactly what you find in your mind right now.

I am truly and deeply sorry for you. Being 20 and not able to enjoy life at the fullest. You are in the age of joy!
You will find joy, soon, and I express my deep empathy for your suffering.

As many others said, really move out of there!
If you ask guidance to your Guardian Demon to find a good place, you will find it. There's plenty of jobs for people who want to "move hands".

Your reactions to sexuality, are linked to some traumas your mind received. The first trauma is being educated by a family like yours, who only instilled in their childrens' minds fear, resentment, and sense of being unworthy and of no value, plus hate for own body and self. All of this leads to severe hang-ups that are stored into the subconscious mind. While the conscious mind wants to have a god sex, the unconscious (programmed and traumatized) wants to avoid that, so a clash occurs with mind confusion.

Apart of deep meditations like Munka, emotional body healing by HPs Lydia, detaching unwanted people (family) from your chakras, that are paramount and needed, you will need to reprogram your mind.
The Demons may guide you through life experiences that may recall your traumas or confront your programming, by positive situations. They did with me, extensively, and I understtood how it works and its benefits. The Demons are extremely smart in this, ask for guidance!

Oh, the key to success here is : loving yourself and your body.
Sexual repression leads to self-hate, because they teach you to hate a part of you : sexual organs and sexuality. It is part of human nature so, when they tell you it is "wrong", 100% you will end up hating yourself for even having a sexual desire. Because all people have sexual desires : it is normal and natural. So, it leads to self hate.

Don't hate yourself. I am sure you are a wonderful being, for the sole reason you chose to write on this Spiritual Forum and you are for sure Dedicated to the True God!
This means, being of high value. Love yourself and your sexuality, and the world of joy will open up in front of your eyes.
Don't be silent, don't repress your sorrow, vent out on here. Talk. You will be listened and feel better.

Seriously, take care.

I wanted to also thank you. You helped me so much directly and undirectly. I truly love you.

 

[AskSatanOperator]

Hello sister!

Do not apologize. It is not your fault. Women are forced to feel shame for our natural needs by oppressive enemy programs.

Check Mars too! Love-making is Venus and pure sexual energy is Mars. The Moon energy can help your cycles. It is normal to have a higher desire level and wetness on the days you are more likely to get pregnant. As the Moon rules liquids, hormones, and your cycle, and considering it has to do with how ''receptive'' you are in general, yes this problem can be related to the Moon. Though I have to say that when Mars has difficult aspects to Saturn, this seems to be causing sexual blockages both in men and women. Oppressed sexuality, difficulty in letting go of control and relaxing, and delayed orgasm because Mars is our sexual energy and Saturn is discipline, control, time, bindings, etc.

I feel you. The housing crisis is global. Best of luck getting out of there.

Hello Pammy! Mars is in a very, very strong position in my chart and it's my chart ruler, only trine with Saturn. When I brought this subject up, I realized that it was all about my family karma. Thank you! I'm sorry that you understand me on this. We probably live in the same country (Turkey) and I liked your lifestyle, your courage as you spoke about these subjects on the Forums or I remember wrong. I wish you good luck as well.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

And somehow he really knows... For example.. that I'm a Zevist.

Your situation seems difficult. They are probably monitoring your devices like phone or pc, there are programs that can do this without being detected, if your father installed them your are tracked in everything you do or probably he is able to listen you through your phone or so. Get rid of your phone when you meditate and check what happens, try to mantain you just followed a website randomly found in the web... try to stay safe.

How many years do you need to complete your school?
Is there any alternative to it, like a public school you don't have to pay? Can you afford work and study at the same time in terms of time and energies?
Consider, and plan. Sexual hang-ups healing will be healed later, first you need to establish a firm, sound and stable existence to heal other problems.

You need to consider that, you are a young girl with some emotional problems (that may be worst than you think).
So, unless you know a very trusted and good person - whom you tested - and about whom you need to ask to the Gods advice and guidance - you are at risk of falling in the hands of a wrong partner, who may be abusive or not good. It depends on your planets but usually people who experience heavy emotional problems (or worst, any kind of abuse) with their families, are at risk of repeating this pattern with the first partners in life. With time ad efforts, this may become better.

If you choose to move out (that is highly advisable) you need to strictly follow the guidance of your GD, ask Him/Her daily for advice. Slowly you may find a door open. It's up to you to take this path, the Gods will show you and prepare the right situation, person and home for you. I have witnessed this happening in my life.

When you make a big change in life, it may happen you need to sacrifice something, for the sake of your freedom.
We can't choose for you. Listen to you heart.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

I wanted to also thank you. You helped me so much directly and undirectly. I truly love you.

Please receive an Astral encouragement from me, like an older uncle would do, expressing admiration and respect for you.
Because, you chose Zeus and you chose freedom, by your intention and will. This is enough for me to consider you a noble and worthy woman who deserves a decent life.
I wish you this, by heart.
Oh and thanks for your words, they made my day. Few people express gratitude nowadays. Another score for you.