Welcome!
The ritual is one thing and you breaking up with your Bf is a completely another thing, they have nothing to do with each other and what you're feeling and dealing with right now it's quite human. It will pass in time , try doing other things, distract your mind away with some other things , think and reflect on why you been breaking up and choose the best options for yourself in life , you got to think about yourself the most otherwise nobody else would do it for you.