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You deserve your blessings

Achatina Prisma

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2022
Messages
82
Whilst reflecting on past lives, I realised the only difference between "it changed" and "that's how it's always been" is a memory. Upon realising that, I found myself guilty of using memories to pretend that I'm still in the past, averting my eyes from the reality in front of me. It isn't because of grudges that I cling to the past, but rather, because I find it difficult to accept my blessings. I've always hated people with an entitled attitude, and perhaps in my efforts not to be like that, I'd convinced myself that I don't deserve anything.

I've come to understand that to refuse those blessings is to live in denial of reality. People can become complacent when things are going well for them, and in that manner I myself have often refused help and wasted advantages because I didn't "need" them. But I understand now that by doing so, I've only slowed my growth. Thinking about it logically, I have to take full advantage of every resource available to me. Any other course of action is simply wrong, unjustifiably wasteful.

I used to feel like life is a competition, but I've always been happy to see others win. "Why do I deserve to win any more than others? Surely, others who are more competitive than me would be happier to win than I am," I thought. But if that mentality holds me back, then I should stop thinking of life as a competition altogether. I simply have operate at full efficiency as if it's the most natural thing, as if other people and external motivations don't even exist. That's how I was as a child anyway, until I changed because of my obsession with being "normal". But even if others call me a machine again like they did back then, I'll just take it as a compliment at this point.

I wanted to share these thoughts in case it's helpful to others. Take pride in efficiency, and make use of all your blessings.
Hail Satan!
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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