Στις Σάβ, 6 Ιαν, 2018 στις 3:28 π.μ., ο χρήστηςninawolf927@... [JoyofSatan666]<
[email protected] έγραψε: Hello Brothers and Sisters.
I'm struggling with really bad case of anxiety. I'm always scared to leave house, simple things like going to shop seem incredibly difficult. I'm always judging myself, always noticing only my flaws, thinking i'm ugly, i'm useless, i'm lazy, and I can't grasp a control over myself. Whenever i'm at school, i'm extremely anxious, always paranoid about things like what other people are thinking about me, do they think i'm ugly, do they think i'm dumb, am I not good enough? Bullying at school also affects me greatly. I can never be on my own, I have one friend at school and if she's not there I won't even go to school, I'll do everything to skip school that day because I just can't be on my own with people around me, feeling scared and lost when i'm left sitting alone all by myself. And it's not like that "friend" of mine is helping me with my anxiety or anything, I just feel like people will judge me less if i'm not alone. It's like I can't do anything on my own, all weird thoughts like "what people are thinking about me walking all on my own, like some loner (which I am)", "I probably look terrible", and like whenever I hear people whispering, laughing or just talking I instantly think that they're talking about me and laughing at me. I always think that i'm not good enough, with all those terrible thoughts going through my head at school I can't even think straight, I can't focus, can't hear what teacher is saying, even if i'm reading a book, it's like I see all those words but i'm just in my head, thinking, judging myself. So of course my school performance drops, and that causes more hate towards myself and more bullying. Whenever I have to talk to people, I just can't, i'm always scared of talking to people directly, always talking way too fast, stuttering, sometimes people can't even figure out what i'm saying. Sometimes at home I don't even want to leave my room, I just sit here all alone, all by myself where no one can see me and no one talk about me or to me, so that causes fear to even leave my own room sometimes.
I want to change that. I'm tired of being silent and just torturing myself in my own self hatred. I want to finally be independent, love myself, look in a mirror and see myself beautiful, improve my school performance, I want to be able to be on my own, depend on myself, ignore everyone else, be strong without pretending, completely not care about what others are thinking or saying about me.
I clean my aura and do aura of protection everyday, i'm also doing void meditation whenever bad thoughts come up or when I just want to rest from my own thoughts. When I have some free time I spin my chakras and do breathing exercises. Currently i'm opening my 6th chakra. What else can I do?
HAIL SATAN!
