Hi, I thought I'd share my experience of my dedication because many other experiences on here helped answer some of my questions, I also have some myself.
I had come across the JoS website many years ago when I was looking up stuff on the succubus - the sex with demon/ess page came up. But as a X-xian I stayed far away from that stuff. Lately I've been on a power and knowlegde quest. I read a lot of information on the joy of satan and I realised how much it resonated with me. I had never felt whole being 'with christ' and I was a total reck. I had lost empathy for everyone but myself and I stole and did what my mind dictated. I have even begun to follow a guide to turn myself into a fully-fledged sociopath.
I began to start my power meditation and within a couple oof days I was already feeling my energy (I felt wavy sensations along my body and on one occasion a burst of hyperactivity). I also started meditating to open up my chakras, so far I have completed the third eye meditation and the crown chakra meditation (now I feel regular aches on my forehead and when I did the crown meditation I felt the tingly feeling on the my nose and it made me feel really happy!).
Anyway I decided that I would dedicate my self to satan. Last week I had planned to do this but then I watched 'the divinci code' and then all of a sudden I felt this immense fear (call it the 'fear of god' if you will). I put it off and did more research to make sure it was what I wanted to do. I had never felt happy under xian-sanity and always felt hatred for myself and everyone around me, I never trusted anyone and never cared about anything. I always felt like something was missing.
This morning (about 12:15) I dedicated myself. Before I began, I sweeped the carpet where my ritual was centred around, I then masturbated because I thought it would be a great way to release sex energy into the room (I am a regular masturbator anyway but I would of gladly put it off for that night if it ment being respectful). Then I had a shower and began writing the oath in nude (I did the whole dedication in nude). I then god a diabetes tool to get blood out of my left index finger, I then signed my name with a toothpick but the blood wasn't enough so I pricked my finger again (the second time was noticably more sharper and the mark is still on my hand - I think I hit a nerve). I managed to get my signature written and then I burned the paper in a red candle. There were blue coloured flames and some red burning the paper, then I dropped it in a silver (washed) mixing bowl to let it burn. My parents were still upstairs so I couldn't shout 'HAIL SATAN' but I said it punctualy and firmly. I then meditated for a little while. I then began to feel as if my body was vibrating - concentrated for a while on the sensation. I read another experience in where a fellow satanist was communicating with his GD using the shadow of the flame but this did not work for me.
I went back to meditating and tried it a couple more times - I asked whether it was okay to blow out the candle as I knew that it wouldn't burn out before my parents woke up the next morning it looked as i it was flickering slightly to the left so I blew it out (It took 5 tries for it to go out). I went to sleep and then woke up feeling quite refreshed - I did a power meditation before going downstairs. But while I was having breakfast I remember having a dream and in that dream someone knew that I had dedicated myself to satan, they felt really close to me but I don't know if it was a family member. The thought of my family knowing that im a satanist does shake me up a tad bit because I would be thrown out and casted away (by my loving family and friends).
The questions:
1. Was the ritual a success or did I ruin it by blowing out the candle?
2. I read that Satan's people are aryan. Im not exactly aryan - im black actaully, does this mean that Father will pay less attention to me?
3. Is there anyway I can see my Guardian Demon?
4. I go to a chatholic college does this upset Father Satan?
5. Is thinking about sex with you Guardian Demon blasphemous?
6. Are there any prayers I can do for Father Satan?
Thanks in advance, Darkest of blessings
HAIL SATAN AND THE ORIGINAL GODS!
I had come across the JoS website many years ago when I was looking up stuff on the succubus - the sex with demon/ess page came up. But as a X-xian I stayed far away from that stuff. Lately I've been on a power and knowlegde quest. I read a lot of information on the joy of satan and I realised how much it resonated with me. I had never felt whole being 'with christ' and I was a total reck. I had lost empathy for everyone but myself and I stole and did what my mind dictated. I have even begun to follow a guide to turn myself into a fully-fledged sociopath.
I began to start my power meditation and within a couple oof days I was already feeling my energy (I felt wavy sensations along my body and on one occasion a burst of hyperactivity). I also started meditating to open up my chakras, so far I have completed the third eye meditation and the crown chakra meditation (now I feel regular aches on my forehead and when I did the crown meditation I felt the tingly feeling on the my nose and it made me feel really happy!).
Anyway I decided that I would dedicate my self to satan. Last week I had planned to do this but then I watched 'the divinci code' and then all of a sudden I felt this immense fear (call it the 'fear of god' if you will). I put it off and did more research to make sure it was what I wanted to do. I had never felt happy under xian-sanity and always felt hatred for myself and everyone around me, I never trusted anyone and never cared about anything. I always felt like something was missing.
This morning (about 12:15) I dedicated myself. Before I began, I sweeped the carpet where my ritual was centred around, I then masturbated because I thought it would be a great way to release sex energy into the room (I am a regular masturbator anyway but I would of gladly put it off for that night if it ment being respectful). Then I had a shower and began writing the oath in nude (I did the whole dedication in nude). I then god a diabetes tool to get blood out of my left index finger, I then signed my name with a toothpick but the blood wasn't enough so I pricked my finger again (the second time was noticably more sharper and the mark is still on my hand - I think I hit a nerve). I managed to get my signature written and then I burned the paper in a red candle. There were blue coloured flames and some red burning the paper, then I dropped it in a silver (washed) mixing bowl to let it burn. My parents were still upstairs so I couldn't shout 'HAIL SATAN' but I said it punctualy and firmly. I then meditated for a little while. I then began to feel as if my body was vibrating - concentrated for a while on the sensation. I read another experience in where a fellow satanist was communicating with his GD using the shadow of the flame but this did not work for me.
I went back to meditating and tried it a couple more times - I asked whether it was okay to blow out the candle as I knew that it wouldn't burn out before my parents woke up the next morning it looked as i it was flickering slightly to the left so I blew it out (It took 5 tries for it to go out). I went to sleep and then woke up feeling quite refreshed - I did a power meditation before going downstairs. But while I was having breakfast I remember having a dream and in that dream someone knew that I had dedicated myself to satan, they felt really close to me but I don't know if it was a family member. The thought of my family knowing that im a satanist does shake me up a tad bit because I would be thrown out and casted away (by my loving family and friends).
The questions:
1. Was the ritual a success or did I ruin it by blowing out the candle?
2. I read that Satan's people are aryan. Im not exactly aryan - im black actaully, does this mean that Father will pay less attention to me?
3. Is there anyway I can see my Guardian Demon?
4. I go to a chatholic college does this upset Father Satan?
5. Is thinking about sex with you Guardian Demon blasphemous?
6. Are there any prayers I can do for Father Satan?
Thanks in advance, Darkest of blessings
HAIL SATAN AND THE ORIGINAL GODS!
DD
