I'm not sure I'm the problem in meditation

[Nick1]

Hello,

Before I become Satanist, I was lost in my life and I always been Angry and Unsocial in my dark corner. Now I feel I got a reason to live for I still keep bad, negative images in my head. I don't know what to do. I'm not really into seen a Psycho doctor Lol and tell him this:

I keep having fast images when I'm next to someone and those images are violent. I see the person being hurt, tortured but inside of me I'm not into violence. I love living in peace but I can't will those images.

When I meditate, I'm trying to see myself and my chakras getting whiter and more and more lighter like a sun! BUT after I exhale, sometimes I see my body getting Black again. It's only after few times I get to see my body get whiter and my Aura get stronger.

Now I want to know if it's normal, or I should correct something while I meditate?? Don't forget my parents know I'm Satanist but they don't mind of it and they asked me to Meditate only at night so my little brother won't see me doing it during the day. The problem is after I finish work around 10pm I'm getting tired and I read somewhere in JoS Meditation while being Tired is not Useful. So What can I do?
Help Please?? any advices??

I feel like I belong where I am now in JoS but sometimes I ask myself so many questions because I'm still corrupted in my head with LaVey, My family,Friends and at work theories about God,Satanism. I'm trying to FOCUS on Satan as being the real god but for some reason I the same question again and again in my head, Am I sure of what I'm thinking,reading Who can Knock me out and damage my brain so I can forget all I learned in the Past ???

 

[William Corbeil]

Its happening in my head too, and its annoying. Everything is doing great, the meditations im freakong happy and then out of nowhere. And what if it was all false? Doubts are fufilling my head. Its getting in my head but i really know its totally true i lived experiences that talk by themselves. So Why im i having all this fast losing faith sometimes, i dont know, maybe the ennemy or my mind is programmed.
I hope this will go away with the time.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Nick" <join_task_force_2@... wrote:

Hello,

Before I become Satanist, I was lost in my life and I always been Angry and Unsocial in my dark corner. Now I feel I got a reason to live for I still keep bad, negative images in my head. I don't know what to do. I'm not really into seen a Psycho doctor Lol and tell him this:

I keep having fast images when I'm next to someone and those images are violent. I see the person being hurt, tortured but inside of me I'm not into violence. I love living in peace but I can't will those images.

When I meditate, I'm trying to see myself and my chakras getting whiter and more and more lighter like a sun! BUT after I exhale, sometimes I see my body getting Black again. It's only after few times I get to see my body get whiter and my Aura get stronger.

Now I want to know if it's normal, or I should correct something while I meditate?? Don't forget my parents know I'm Satanist but they don't mind of it and they asked me to Meditate only at night so my little brother won't see me doing it during the day. The problem is after I finish work around 10pm I'm getting tired and I read somewhere in JoS Meditation while being Tired is not Useful. So What can I do?
Help Please?? any advices??

I feel like I belong where I am now in JoS but sometimes I ask myself so many questions because I'm still corrupted in my head with LaVey, My family,Friends and at work theories about God,Satanism. I'm trying to FOCUS on Satan as being the real god but for some reason I the same question again and again in my head, Am I sure of what I'm thinking,reading Who can Knock me out and damage my brain so I can forget all I learned in the Past ???

 

[Nick1]

I have no more Doubts about Spiritual Satanism, because Yesterday I was reading more in exposing Christianity and found some really interesting and true information.

*Small Advice to new people* READ THE WEBSITE BEFORE MEDITATING!! THIS GOING TO HELP YOU BUILD SOME TRUST IN YOURSELF AND YOUR RELIGION!! I NEVER FELT SO READY TO MEDITATE AND READY TO FIGHT FOR OUR CAUSE just because I read more! Knowledge is POWER!!

HAIL FATHER SATAN,
AVE SATANA

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "William Corbeil" <lemice1@... wrote:

Its happening in my head too, and its annoying. Everything is doing great, the meditations im freakong happy and then out of nowhere. And what if it was all false? Doubts are fufilling my head. Its getting in my head but i really know its totally true i lived experiences that talk by themselves. So Why im i having all this fast losing faith sometimes, i dont know, maybe the ennemy or my mind is programmed.
I hope this will go away with the time.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Nick" <join_task_force_2@ wrote:

Hello,

Before I become Satanist, I was lost in my life and I always been Angry and Unsocial in my dark corner. Now I feel I got a reason to live for I still keep bad, negative images in my head. I don't know what to do. I'm not really into seen a Psycho doctor Lol and tell him this:

I keep having fast images when I'm next to someone and those images are violent. I see the person being hurt, tortured but inside of me I'm not into violence. I love living in peace but I can't will those images.

When I meditate, I'm trying to see myself and my chakras getting whiter and more and more lighter like a sun! BUT after I exhale, sometimes I see my body getting Black again. It's only after few times I get to see my body get whiter and my Aura get stronger.

Now I want to know if it's normal, or I should correct something while I meditate?? Don't forget my parents know I'm Satanist but they don't mind of it and they asked me to Meditate only at night so my little brother won't see me doing it during the day. The problem is after I finish work around 10pm I'm getting tired and I read somewhere in JoS Meditation while being Tired is not Useful. So What can I do?
Help Please?? any advices??

I feel like I belong where I am now in JoS but sometimes I ask myself so many questions because I'm still corrupted in my head with LaVey, My family,Friends and at work theories about God,Satanism. I'm trying to FOCUS on Satan as being the real god but for some reason I the same question again and again in my head, Am I sure of what I'm thinking,reading Who can Knock me out and damage my brain so I can forget all I learned in the Past ???