For the last two weeks up till about 72 hours, ago, I was going through a really hard time as it felt like all my energy was consistently getting pounded out of me. When this started back up (yes this happened before), I really wasn't looking for any signs. I was just trying to clean my aura, trying to meditate, and even more denounce Christ and push all of the angels away from me.
Then during one of my meditations last week, something went wrong. I saw this red light developing inside of my head so I tried to get myself out of the trance. For a while I couldn't and I felt the temples on my head warming up and then throbbing. After about a minute of this, I started having trouble breathing but this helped me break out of the trance and I opened my eyes. The room had some red lights around me and at this very instant I just thought "fuck". I grabbed the pentagram around my necklace, while my energy was quickly being drawn out of me, and just thought for Satan's and / or some demonic help. Then out of no where, I felt the pentagram warm up and saw a flash of light that both seemed to repel what was attacking me and knocked me out cold into a nightmarish dream.
On top of that, for a few days when I went out to smoke, I was seeing some odd spirits standing on the street. They were like watching me, and I had a hard time figuring out if they were friendly spirits or angels. Of course then again, I am now sick and tired of these encounters. It got so bad that some angel was making their point by making my cigaratte smoke and forming xtian crosses out of them.
About 72 hours ago, even though I am an adept to Satanism and my abilities, I just channeled so much thought and effort into feeling whatever aura that is in me (something I already struggle to do) and I focused on building a white berrier around me. After doing that, I also focused some energy to repel any spirits / greys that were around me, and it seemed to work - for now.
The thing is, I read somewhere that greys / angels usually do not linger around a whole lot but they have seemed to express some intrest in me before and attacked back when I was 16 when I denounced Jehovah and my religion. Back then I pushed them away but now they came back after me.
Would this make sense to anyone? I am having a hard time grasping this concept myself considering all I believe in is Satan and his Demons but this seems kinda beyond me. I would like some help.
Then during one of my meditations last week, something went wrong. I saw this red light developing inside of my head so I tried to get myself out of the trance. For a while I couldn't and I felt the temples on my head warming up and then throbbing. After about a minute of this, I started having trouble breathing but this helped me break out of the trance and I opened my eyes. The room had some red lights around me and at this very instant I just thought "fuck". I grabbed the pentagram around my necklace, while my energy was quickly being drawn out of me, and just thought for Satan's and / or some demonic help. Then out of no where, I felt the pentagram warm up and saw a flash of light that both seemed to repel what was attacking me and knocked me out cold into a nightmarish dream.
On top of that, for a few days when I went out to smoke, I was seeing some odd spirits standing on the street. They were like watching me, and I had a hard time figuring out if they were friendly spirits or angels. Of course then again, I am now sick and tired of these encounters. It got so bad that some angel was making their point by making my cigaratte smoke and forming xtian crosses out of them.
About 72 hours ago, even though I am an adept to Satanism and my abilities, I just channeled so much thought and effort into feeling whatever aura that is in me (something I already struggle to do) and I focused on building a white berrier around me. After doing that, I also focused some energy to repel any spirits / greys that were around me, and it seemed to work - for now.
The thing is, I read somewhere that greys / angels usually do not linger around a whole lot but they have seemed to express some intrest in me before and attacked back when I was 16 when I denounced Jehovah and my religion. Back then I pushed them away but now they came back after me.
Would this make sense to anyone? I am having a hard time grasping this concept myself considering all I believe in is Satan and his Demons but this seems kinda beyond me. I would like some help.