Help spiritually

[Wilson Percival Higgsbury]

Hey so I'm not sure how to type this so I'll try to keep it as simple as possible.

I was one of those typical Christians (being Irish Catholic with a strong family background) that was deep in the illusion , that is the bible, without actually reading it in my teens.. you know, that type of annoying Christian?

Anyway, I then found JOS while desiring a succubus when I was around 17 (I'm 26 now) and even went as far as to do the dedication ritual. At the time, it had some interesting results such as lucid dreaming but now I've lost all these abilities (like I can't see in my dreams anymore and feel dead inside spiritually) which I will try my hardest to describe below because it's hard to put into words over 9 years of spiritual disasters with some better moments here and there..

So, around the time I did the dedication ritual and after I smoked weed for the first time (bad mistake to mix the two as a novice teen) I started to hear the voice of your stereotypical bible devil, with a almost reptile like voice.. very hard to describe, it feels "lucifarian" but with a negative, dull and reptile sort of voice..

Anyway, this voice would constantly mock me and make my life hell for many years despite praying to Satan many times for help. I did go back and forward from Christianity to Satanism during my teens which, as you can imagine, lead to alot of unpleasant attacks/nightmares but now that's I'm a bit older, and did more research I can gladly reject Christianity completely as a Jewish mind control tool (which also didn't help me at all in my teens).

The only thing that would save me and keep me sane was Buddism, mindfulness or what JOS community would refer to as "void meditation". I can now easily ignore these voices and refer to them as more of a "chi" passing through my jade temple, but I do have my doubts ofcourse, as to why it can be so negative which leads me to Satan.

I really have a hard to accepting Satan or any of those Gods due to the fact I was left without help for so long, even when I got so bad as to be in a mental hospital when I wasn't as mindful as now (during my teens) which destroyed my family life in many ways even to this day.

Ofcourse, I'm finding this hard to type and really trying my best, there's much more to do with it to including Succubus rituals and the likes but I will not make it more confusing than it is.

I have nothing but respect for JOS due to the reasons of removing Christianitys mind controlling influence in my life so please don't take this the wrong way, I'm more or less just wondering what you would see with all this.

Any advice would be appreciated , while maybe trying to convince me to restore my "faith" in Satan because it sucks having no higher power to look up to at the moment.

Since I was so hurt I feel an anger not only for Satan but any God even though I no that is not good or even logical, I was just hurt that bad.

Sometimes, I get mocked for being a zombie of my former self and it can get to me like how I mentioned I can no longer lucid dream because my eyes are always closed or blind by fear.. since I was attacked so much.. I feel like my spirit or soul has been destroyed and there's just a burning heat in my heart that I can feel very vividly for the universe or for some sort of revenge but I can let this go at will thanks to my meditations and buddism teachings, if not for that I probably wouldn't even be here today!

Anyway, thank you for reading and please share your thoughts. I will try to post even more information if that will be helpful and I will reply as soon as I can.

Thank you for always being helpful with all of your awesome articles waking me, and I could imagine many other Christians up.

Peace!

 

[Henu the Great]

Since I was so hurt I feel an anger not only for Satan but any God even though I no that is not good or even logical, I was just hurt that bad.

You hurt yourself by poor choices.

Start making grade A choices by doing meditation and yoga every day, and uplift yourself from the misery you have landed in.

Since you know about JoS you should reintroduce yourself to some reading, connect the pieces what one is supposed to do, and start doing.

This is not xianity where one does fuckall and simply prays to higher beings for help. Guidance is one thing, but one needs to be active on their path to be guided.

I hope you reach success. Good luck.

 

[Wilson Percival Higgsbury]

Since I was so hurt I feel an anger not only for Satan but any God even though I no that is not good or even logical, I was just hurt that bad.

You hurt yourself by poor choices.

Start making grade A choices by doing meditation and yoga every day, and uplift yourself from the misery you have landed in.

Since you know about JoS you should reintroduce yourself to some reading, connect the pieces what one is supposed to do, and start doing.

This is not xianity where one does fuckall and simply prays to higher beings for help. Guidance is one thing, but one needs to be active on their path to be guided.

I hope you reach success. Good luck.

Hey, thanks I will start both of these again. I have been lacking on them for the last year or so and letting my emotions get the best of me but I got to admit that it's nice to post it here rather than it being bottled up.

I prayed to Satan/Enki for help last night and it did have effect such as being forced awake while falling asleep, stronger third eye visions, at times clearer mental voices/messages but I still had that negative "being/voice" insulting me and even had a lucid dream of me being raped and seeing "hell" a bit like the pictures on JOS although my eyes started to close again like I mentioned because of fear (I'm not lucid enough to logically reason with it yet).

I know what you mean about not depending on higher beings for everything like Christianity and doing work yourself but I guess I was hoping for some protection from those attacks.. unless it's Satan himself which is possible but I don't no anymore..

Regardless it's crazy how even a simple prayer to Satan/Enki can have such massive effects (both negatively and positively) where as Christian prayers are always ignored with no energy or anything, really opens your eyes further over the whole Jewish hoax!

 

[SagittarianMage]

Henu the Great has the good advice there on the yoga routine and putting in work. It helps me to read the enemy's nasty bible material and know that Satan and the Gods are the only defense against assimilation, mental slavery, and domination.
https://web.archive.org/web/20071027052940/https://www.luciferianliberationfront.org/llf2.html

 

[Wilson Percival Higgsbury]

Henu the Great has the good advice there on the yoga routine and putting in work. It helps me to read the enemy's nasty bible material and know that Satan and the Gods are the only defense against assimilation, mental slavery, and domination.
https://web.archive.org/web/20071027052940/https://www.luciferianliberationfront.org/llf2.html

Thank you for the link, I've never seen this one before. I'll dig deep into it, cheers.

 

[I got_abs]

If that is your real name,change it asap.

 

[Sundara]

Hey so I'm not sure how to type this so I'll try to keep it as simple as possible.

I was one of those typical Christians (being Irish Catholic with a strong family background) that was deep in the illusion , that is the bible, without actually reading it in my teens.. you know, that type of annoying Christian?

Anyway, I then found JOS while desiring a succubus when I was around 17 (I'm 26 now) and even went as far as to do the dedication ritual. At the time, it had some interesting results such as lucid dreaming but now I've lost all these abilities (like I can't see in my dreams anymore and feel dead inside spiritually) which I will try my hardest to describe below because it's hard to put into words over 9 years of spiritual disasters with some better moments here and there..

So, around the time I did the dedication ritual and after I smoked weed for the first time (bad mistake to mix the two as a novice teen) I started to hear the voice of your stereotypical bible devil, with a almost reptile like voice.. very hard to describe, it feels "lucifarian" but with a negative, dull and reptile sort of voice..

Anyway, this voice would constantly mock me and make my life hell for many years despite praying to Satan many times for help. I did go back and forward from Christianity to Satanism during my teens which, as you can imagine, lead to alot of unpleasant attacks/nightmares but now that's I'm a bit older, and did more research I can gladly reject Christianity completely as a Jewish mind control tool (which also didn't help me at all in my teens).

The only thing that would save me and keep me sane was Buddism, mindfulness or what JOS community would refer to as "void meditation". I can now easily ignore these voices and refer to them as more of a "chi" passing through my jade temple, but I do have my doubts ofcourse, as to why it can be so negative which leads me to Satan.

I really have a hard to accepting Satan or any of those Gods due to the fact I was left without help for so long, even when I got so bad as to be in a mental hospital when I wasn't as mindful as now (during my teens) which destroyed my family life in many ways even to this day.

Ofcourse, I'm finding this hard to type and really trying my best, there's much more to do with it to including Succubus rituals and the likes but I will not make it more confusing than it is.

I have nothing but respect for JOS due to the reasons of removing Christianitys mind controlling influence in my life so please don't take this the wrong way, I'm more or less just wondering what you would see with all this.

Any advice would be appreciated , while maybe trying to convince me to restore my "faith" in Satan because it sucks having no higher power to look up to at the moment.

Since I was so hurt I feel an anger not only for Satan but any God even though I no that is not good or even logical, I was just hurt that bad.

Sometimes, I get mocked for being a zombie of my former self and it can get to me like how I mentioned I can no longer lucid dream because my eyes are always closed or blind by fear.. since I was attacked so much.. I feel like my spirit or soul has been destroyed and there's just a burning heat in my heart that I can feel very vividly for the universe or for some sort of revenge but I can let this go at will thanks to my meditations and buddism teachings, if not for that I probably wouldn't even be here today!

Anyway, thank you for reading and please share your thoughts. I will try to post even more information if that will be helpful and I will reply as soon as I can.

Thank you for always being helpful with all of your awesome articles waking me, and I could imagine many other Christians up.

Peace!

The difficulty in coming from such a background and then attempting to move to Satanism is the concept and way you’re thinking of God in and of itself is something that’s been tarnished. Even if a person no longer believes in the christian god, the mind is set up to treat this concept the same. It takes more reprogramming. I agree that reading about Buddhist/Taoist and eastern meditations are effective in helping to understand void meditation. JoS is a layout of all of the most important and specialized meditations a person could need, but there’s a lot of in depth information out there and on the forums here. We’re meant to educate ourselves and think for ourselves. Satan didn’t come to your rescue with these intrusive thoughts in some mystified and fantastical way with instantaneous results because he’s not the Christianized version of God. This isn’t how Satan works. Miracles happen in larger numbers with Satan and they’re not wrought with consequences. The fact you found something that worked for you may in and of itself have been from Satan.

I had a similar background initially, except I never wavered from Satanism to another background. I never expected Satan to be anything other than Satan. I originally thought of him as very simply human and another literal being, someone worthy of respect who has limits to what they can and can’t give. When it comes to a persons own mental struggles there are many reasons why the Gods cannot always intervene when somebody gets stuck, at least not immediately, and part of this is a growth process. The Gods are very natural in how they work. Although they can work supernaturally and in very direct ways when a situation is immediately truly pressing (like imminent death or severe harm) when someone is faced with a challenge patience is necessary, and equal amounts of self help. It’s good you found understandings on your own to help your mind and it’s a great thing you’re here.

Moving back and forth from christianity to Satanism and back to Christianity is a massive lack of loyalty. The way you describe your dedication as “it had some interesting effects” as if it’s some kind of mechanical process like pressing a button on a machine is in and of itself kind of where the problem lies. You wanted a succubus but did you ever care for Satan himself? If you didn’t care about him, why would he care about you? Think of him as another physical person for a second. Do you expect people to care about you if you show them no regard?

 

[Kurat]

If that is your real name,change it asap.

It is some fictional character

https://dontstarve.fandom.com/wiki/Wilson

 

[I got_abs]

If that is your real name,change it asap.

It is some fictional character

https://dontstarve.fandom.com/wiki/Wilson

Ohh sorry i didnt knw i just want ss to be safe so i typed it asap without looking into it
Thanks tho <3

 

[Wilson Percival Higgsbury]

If that is your real name,change it asap.

Hahaha no it's from Don't Starve the video game

Hey so I'm not sure how to type this so I'll try to keep it as simple as possible.

I was one of those typical Christians (being Irish Catholic with a strong family background) that was deep in the illusion , that is the bible, without actually reading it in my teens.. you know, that type of annoying Christian?

Anyway, I then found JOS while desiring a succubus when I was around 17 (I'm 26 now) and even went as far as to do the dedication ritual. At the time, it had some interesting results such as lucid dreaming but now I've lost all these abilities (like I can't see in my dreams anymore and feel dead inside spiritually) which I will try my hardest to describe below because it's hard to put into words over 9 years of spiritual disasters with some better moments here and there..

So, around the time I did the dedication ritual and after I smoked weed for the first time (bad mistake to mix the two as a novice teen) I started to hear the voice of your stereotypical bible devil, with a almost reptile like voice.. very hard to describe, it feels "lucifarian" but with a negative, dull and reptile sort of voice..

Anyway, this voice would constantly mock me and make my life hell for many years despite praying to Satan many times for help. I did go back and forward from Christianity to Satanism during my teens which, as you can imagine, lead to alot of unpleasant attacks/nightmares but now that's I'm a bit older, and did more research I can gladly reject Christianity completely as a Jewish mind control tool (which also didn't help me at all in my teens).

The only thing that would save me and keep me sane was Buddism, mindfulness or what JOS community would refer to as "void meditation". I can now easily ignore these voices and refer to them as more of a "chi" passing through my jade temple, but I do have my doubts ofcourse, as to why it can be so negative which leads me to Satan.

I really have a hard to accepting Satan or any of those Gods due to the fact I was left without help for so long, even when I got so bad as to be in a mental hospital when I wasn't as mindful as now (during my teens) which destroyed my family life in many ways even to this day.

Ofcourse, I'm finding this hard to type and really trying my best, there's much more to do with it to including Succubus rituals and the likes but I will not make it more confusing than it is.

I have nothing but respect for JOS due to the reasons of removing Christianitys mind controlling influence in my life so please don't take this the wrong way, I'm more or less just wondering what you would see with all this.

Any advice would be appreciated , while maybe trying to convince me to restore my "faith" in Satan because it sucks having no higher power to look up to at the moment.

Since I was so hurt I feel an anger not only for Satan but any God even though I no that is not good or even logical, I was just hurt that bad.

Sometimes, I get mocked for being a zombie of my former self and it can get to me like how I mentioned I can no longer lucid dream because my eyes are always closed or blind by fear.. since I was attacked so much.. I feel like my spirit or soul has been destroyed and there's just a burning heat in my heart that I can feel very vividly for the universe or for some sort of revenge but I can let this go at will thanks to my meditations and buddism teachings, if not for that I probably wouldn't even be here today!

Anyway, thank you for reading and please share your thoughts. I will try to post even more information if that will be helpful and I will reply as soon as I can.

Thank you for always being helpful with all of your awesome articles waking me, and I could imagine many other Christians up.

Peace!

The difficulty in coming from such a background and then attempting to move to Satanism is the concept and way you’re thinking of God in and of itself is something that’s been tarnished. Even if a person no longer believes in the christian god, the mind is set up to treat this concept the same. It takes more reprogramming. I agree that reading about Buddhist/Taoist and eastern meditations are effective in helping to understand void meditation. JoS is a layout of all of the most important and specialized meditations a person could need, but there’s a lot of in depth information out there and on the forums here. We’re meant to educate ourselves and think for ourselves. Satan didn’t come to your rescue with these intrusive thoughts in some mystified and fantastical way with instantaneous results because he’s not the Christianized version of God. This isn’t how Satan works. Miracles happen in larger numbers with Satan and they’re not wrought with consequences. The fact you found something that worked for you may in and of itself have been from Satan.

I had a similar background initially, except I never wavered from Satanism to another background. I never expected Satan to be anything other than Satan. I originally thought of him as very simply human and another literal being, someone worthy of respect who has limits to what they can and can’t give. When it comes to a persons own mental struggles there are many reasons why the Gods cannot always intervene when somebody gets stuck, at least not immediately, and part of this is a growth process. The Gods are very natural in how they work. Although they can work supernaturally and in very direct ways when a situation is immediately truly pressing (like imminent death or severe harm) when someone is faced with a challenge patience is necessary, and equal amounts of self help. It’s good you found understandings on your own to help your mind and it’s a great thing you’re here.

Moving back and forth from christianity to Satanism and back to Christianity is a massive lack of loyalty. The way you describe your dedication as “it had some interesting effects” as if it’s some kind of mechanical process like pressing a button on a machine is in and of itself kind of where the problem lies. You wanted a succubus but did you ever care for Satan himself? If you didn’t care about him, why would he care about you? Think of him as another physical person for a second. Do you expect people to care about you if you show them no regard?

Hey, thanks for the reply.

The thing is I'm aware of how the mind can portray these heavily Christian based illusions despite telling myself I'm deprogrammed. The only thing is that the attacks can feel so real that perhaps something is attaching itself to this old negative belief of Satan/Christianity?

Yeah Buddhism has helped me to a high extent but deep down, this voice or entity has stopped me from having a proper relationship with a succubus/spirit since the negative voice can be so overpowering, which caused me a lot of depression in the past. The whole chi entering the jade temple and manifesting as negative voices surly makes sense based on old belief systems and I've even heard voices "outside my head " and as clear as day while ignoring this negative, dull one that constantly slurs insults.

I only get doubt when I get attacked, mostly when I'd pray to Satan and then sleep. I'm also worried about how I can no longer "see" in my dreams.. hard to explain but due to so many attacks my eyes stay shut even though I'm lucid due to fear and I kind of no longer feel there as if my spirit escaped or left..

Yeah I've been sure to read the guys link above and the JOS articles every day, even repeating ones that have the strongest points just so my subconscious might get a deeper understanding rather than my logical mind.

You're right with being self dependant and not treating Satan as some kind of bible like entity that will do everything for you while you sit back and relax however I still expected some sort of protection.. some attacks where so brutal and felt so real and sometimes happened even after asking in prayer for some sort of protection.. that kind of angers me at times and I can get stubborn but of course I try to show respect in a human like regard, it can just be difficult sometimes..

The whole Christian to Satanism back and forward thing in my teens defiantly lead to most of the disaster today and I'm aware with how disrespectful that was.. The fear of hell was so damn powerful at the time, I'd expect Satan to at least understand that. My family kind of was on the more loopy side of Christianity hell, I can't go up to see my mom on Sunday any more because she's doing that stupid rosary (which also didn't help me back when I was a mess in my teens, as you can imagine haha), makes me so mad listening to her!

I do admit that my desire for a succubus at the time was stronger than any relationship with Satan but now I've grown older and wiser and even let go of that dream altogether, the thought of it now just makes me angry so I stopped seeking it. I can still feel sexual experiences when I out my mind to it but feels forced, kind of like when you force a sex dream while lucid dreaming, along with listening to that negative entity/energy mocking me constantly as I do it.. eurgh no thanks, havent got the strength..

It's nice to talk about all this though, I feel way better than when I first posted.. I had it bottled for years so it feels great to share

If that is your real name,change it asap.

It is some fictional character

https://dontstarve.fandom.com/wiki/Wilson

It's a good game

If that is your real name,change it asap.

It is some fictional character

https://dontstarve.fandom.com/wiki/Wilson

Ohh sorry i didnt knw i just want ss to be safe so i typed it asap without looking into it
Thanks tho <3

Sorry for the scare, haha


Thank you all for the replies, phone posting in a hurry but will edit and tidy this later. Peace.

 

[Sundara]

If that is your real name,change it asap.

Well it sounds like you’re on the right track, just try to get out of your head as much as possible and when positive feelings arise really grab onto them. It takes a long time to move through levels of the mind. You’re doing good, just have faith and patience in yourself.