"as one must stay close to them on the high moments as to remember them and to not crash" Remembering at my high points felt extremely relevant to me. I became blind pursuing a large goal & I still haven't re-lit my fire of pursuit after 2 years. The act of believing in a goal & having more...

The will to destrudo can be very deceptive at times. I didn't know I subconsciously thought I deserved punishment until I got rid of it & the dissociation tied to it. The ripples that caused over 32 years were vast. It's like I rode a wave that I did not put myself on, but because I was...

I wonder if it's effective at all to simply vibrate to music? Like, instead of typical humming, make the R for raum or that bee bv vibration that's for the crown chakra. If that were the case I could just open my crown chakra to music while I do work 🙃

Oh I'm definitely past depression & resignation, that was before I therapy'd myself. It'll never be that bad again. I just always feel behind since I feel like opportunities in parts of my life were stolen by circumstance. It's definitely not a powerful way to frame the past. I know I...

No. I have practiced skills that bottleneck in similar places, the same aspects of development, & I don't know how to resolve my issues. I'm sorta spinning my wheels grinding practice & not doing much in the world. As far as trust, I was abused & I learned to not trust the world or myself. I...

I hate being full of potential. I'm 42 this 26th, & all this potential energy not going anywhere swirls up into anxiety. There's something about me & confidence, trust, faith in myself, & picking up after a setback.

Because of the history of non-income that came from my creative skill, I am almost irritated how I feel compelled to chisel out perfection when I really care about what I'm doing. Looking at the beauty of the culmination of maybe hundreds of small decisions is always satisfying at the end, &...

Ahhhh...I suppose that was my fault. I saw it mixed within the Beginners Guide Split Post & replied without realizing it was that old.

I feel a sort of jubilation reading this. The trails of curiosity that led me here are wild. Disillusionment with the left, led me to AnCap Libertarianism, & frustration with that around 2014 led me to a podcast with an "agenda that is quite radical", & HE had this random caller that talked...

I think Asmodeus & I will become friends.

After I built my PC, I wondered about treating my apartment like a PC case. I have 2 small fans that are like mini-box fans. I set them on the window behind the screen with a little cardboard to seal the area not taken up by the fan. The one that pulls air in from the outside works great, since...

I wasn't sure what Andrapoda was so I searched & hey, it led back to a JOS pdf from Feb 22, The NPC = The Andrapoda. What a great read. THEN another search link led to "IX. Andrapoda Ethics" & my head exploded. I have an unstarted career in UI Design, & seeing text all centered made some of my...

I'm not sure if I fear being great, but I know I'm ashamed of praise, see pride with disgust, & I am friends with worthlessness & defeat due to the time I carried dissociation. It took me 7 years to find my way to curing it myself, but I rid that 9 years ago now. At first I felt invincible after...

Actually now I realize it’s an old iPhone issue. Home Screen bookmarks cause this problem & community posts on Apple haven’t been resolved. Dang.

I’m using default Safari. I actually hate Google 😆. I’ll try loading the link in Firefox Focus.