Good to find out the truth, welcome. Please read the JoS site thoroughly to get a full and indepth understanding. Thereafter you'll realize if your desire is relevant or not. But as a newbie, I think it's a normal question to ask. Everything you need to know is there already for you to read...

Attachments : Here are the audios for Fehu and Wunjo in German. Hope it helps you. Hail father Satan forever, Hail Astaroth, Hail all the Gods of hell. 

Good to be back on track. You just have to start the 40 days meditation program by HPHC. That's what will get you on your grounds. I was happy when I read that you read a lot of information on the JOS site so you can find the meditation program if you haven't come across it yet. You aren't alone...