My other question before I accidentally hit "send" was about using the sme candles for more than one ritual.  I know there's a lot of bullshit out there but just didn't know if using the same candles over again weakens your magic or whatever, due to what some people say.  It would be better for...

why don't you try some of the guided meditation cd's available through the jy of satan online store. I ordered some because I have the same problem. Hope this helps.

Im new to this too but the pole is from a curse on Xianity on the JoS site I found there, I forgot exactly what page but you can find it there.  You don't sound stupid to me btw.  Also by the way I changed my email from under.wyrld to f_ckjesus999 just because the 1st one seemed lame. HAIL...