Meteor said:
[...] so now I feel a bit silly for nerding out about planets and numbers when that was probably unrelated to his issue.[...]
At first i was reading it and the math wasn't going through my head (inexplicably drools). But then you linked a video to show what you meant and it fascinates me.
Last night I was finishing up my routine meditation and I wanted to improve my returning curses by adding longer counts. I felt that to advance i needed to take care of cleaning myself more than trying to figure out how to trance (and always, always falling flat on my face, never able to trance at all). Because i have the fortune of knowing what the astral is like, having experienced it before on a few occasions. I have no trouble believing what i do and think about has an effect on that side. The problem (other than desiring a mastery of the astral) is feeling energy, Satan_Is_Our_Father posted about this in another topic.
Anyways, as i was pronouncing surya and focusing on my aura (as best as i could without feeling anything). This sudden and immense rush of thoughts that are clearly an attack (to my mind) started to impose itself over me. Saying really annoying shit like "I am a jew, this is my star" and it would flash their stolen star over my mind. My immediate response was to add each line of the pentagram after each vibrated syllable, but also to refocus my attention on my aura. This helped me ignore these thoughts and for the first time, in a long time I genuinely felt something after a ritual / meditation (I felt really good).
When I attended middle and highschool, they were catholic schools. So when i was bored in class i would draw pentagrams on the side of assignments, other papers and even school books to entertain myself. I was always fascinated by how well it shapes up with so few strokes. The teachers would see my drawings (usually a bunch of skeletons, sometimes a dragon) then the pentagrams and freak out. I would turn in homework, assignments and classwork with this stuff on it. A lot of teachers would call my parents and be super concerned about what i was doing. Mom was like "fuck off my kid can draw what he wants" lmao.
You never know when someone might pop around and relate in an unforeseen way. Your "nerd out" was really cool. Cheers!