Deeply I hate myself, I see myself as a failure. It makes me sad and embarrassed. I am suspicious and worried about the future about myself, but I feel like I have no strength to do anything. All I have is my eternal devotion and trust in Satan. I never want to embarrass him, so I try to be mindful of my meditations.I have toxic relationships, it's wearing me out.Meditations give me peace and happiness, but it's like I'm in a loop. No matter what I do, I can't get rid of these negative thoughts.I continue on my way and want to honor Satan.My commitment, love and faith is very strong but I need some recovery to give my %100 Performance of my every move. I need some advices,thanks.