Question #3713: very shit life & idk know what do about it

[AskSatanOperator]

im not a very emotional person. my face tends to appear quite blank, cold & aloof, altho theres a lot of feeling happening on the inside. additionally I have many libra placements (sun moon and assendent) & just an overall deep need for people & relationships. theres also a venus in virgo degree of 15 Leo 11th house & overall bad placements in ALL of my relationship and money-related houses, which has led to life-long poverty and an inability to maintain a job long-term. or #network with people. im actually very good at all kinds of jobs but people always gossip about me & i inevitably get "let go". i have no friends, & no relationships right noe. any that I did have all randomly collapsed due to gossip or some other random shit. theres almost never a logical explanation. they just randomly *end* & i get abandoned & am refused an explanation. so i dont even have a way to know what I did wrong to fix future mistakes. they just *dissapear* even when it seems like things were going perfect. this has been the case since birth, as I was mostly left to my own devices as a newborn & as a baby. if I try to come across as warm or connect with people i just look awkward & needy, weird, fake & it feels extremely uncomfortable to show any emotion or to allow others to affect me emotionally, which I've tried to rectify to no avail. even laughing at someones jokes i feel naked & exposed. but i am slightly comfortable if i known them a long time. i used to have a lot of friends & was a funny guy. i have a lot of talent and i am even handsome but it's all going to waste & led to using porn addiction as a crutch, even tho it disgusts me horribly, but bcos i have zero success with human contact + a deep need for people i cant escape the vortex for long enough to recover. i have tried to quit for 6 years i cant seem to get out of this rut even tho my mind is in the right place. my "mindset" is perfect in every regard but it means shit cos nothing happens in reality anyway & everything fails in this category which has prevented me from progressing in life despite immense talents. i studied social skill in depth for prob more than six years & is still a perpetual struggle. i dont even like porn or find the people attractive. i think it's degenerate. but i am unable to fix THE ROOT CAUSE which is a lack of human contact. if i had friends/relationships/career i cud literally quit immediately. even just 1 friend to spend time with. like b4 when i was kinda popular in highschool (probably a jupiter transit). despite all of this, hilariously enough, i remain optimistic for the future. mostly bcos i am aware of my capabilities. but its taking a toll. my body has begun to rot away. my bodies organs hurt & i cant even orgasm without losing clumps of hair. i had a thick af head of hair probably lost 60% of it. And im losing the one good thing which attracted strangers to me which was my looks. it has tanked my metabolism as well & i developed a food addiction now which has made me fat & not being able to losr the weight even with diet & exercise. its just getting worse & worse. the islamic bullshit i have to deal with makes it impossible to get a girlfriend as well without having the secrecy ability of a fkin CIA agent.

i am not advanced enough to do squares so i will be in this shithole situation for a while. idk what to do. or what shud i do in the future when i am advanced. i wud ask for a more advanced astrology reading to help rectify my problems but i cant afford it. i can barely afford anything. i have a strong concentration & willpower... UNTIL this problem rears its head & then i lose all my energy again. i used to have strong willpower. i still do in bursts & when my body recovers back for a few days i go ham.. then it goes again & the cycle repeats. if i cud have 1 good month im sure everything wud resolve itself. anyway rant over this will probably be a useless thread but fk it. i needed to get this out. ive been holding it in for 6 years. fk it.

 

[Sonne]

Even if we do the right things, we may not get the results we want because we may be in the wrong place with the wrong people. I know you've done your best and tried hard, but if you give up, it means it's really over.

You can start by focusing on your meditations and taking steps to improve your life. You can get rid of porn, eat well and exercise to keep yourself in shape. With a peaceful and calm mind and a healthy and fit body, there will be a big change in the way you think about things.

Sometimes being extra kind and caring can be seen as fake and strange because of the structure of society. Just be yourself and be kind enough and if people feel connected to you, a relationship will form.

Let the Gods guide you and do your best, I believe you can overcome, brother. There are no hopeless situations, there are hopeless people, there is nothing you cannot overcome if you do not lose your hope.

 

[Henu the Great]

Huge deja vu having read this and thinking of a solution. In any case... Freeing of the soul workings are in order, and should have been quite some time ago. Start with those along with consistently keeping your energy high through pranayama, asanas, and mantras while also cleaning your aura, chakras, and light body. Not to forget protective aura, better yet, a reflective protective aura so shits against you get shat on. When you manage to do this consistently for say, three months, your life should start to change for the better. The key is to do all of these every day without failing. Porn or no porn, you must do these to advance. Also, it should be noted that none of the basic practices are ever stopped. If you want betterment, you got to walk the walk..!

 

[tandt]

Try to come up with a meditation program and stick to that. Just by doing that for few months, you should notice some changes. Alongside, do workings to improve your situation.
You will be fine brother