Question #3436: What's happening?

[AskSatanOperator]

I started from the first days of July, and until the first of September, these two months were of intense meditations; I meditated a lot every single day.
From September 1st I stopped meditating, due to the fact that I had started working, and due to a health problem in my legs I was no longer able to practice yoga.
Mine was a very intense commitment, with very intense goals and perpetual mental programming; since that first of July I have changed a lot, partially also in the physiognomy of my face.
Since I stopped meditating it's as if I've fallen into a deep sleep, even though a lot has changed drastically, in a positive way, in my identity.
I stopped working for about ten days, and it's as if I'm slowly waking up from my sleep, but I can't meditate in any way
The other day I was desperate, totally desperate, and crying I called Satan, who answered me, inducing my protection meditation, and I managed to visualize the light.
Since then my mental peace has ended, from the next day I started to have a series of disturbing thoughts, justifying the Jews, and I tried to meditate, barely succeeding, with enormous difficulty.
Today since the morning I have been trying to meditate, getting desperate, struggling desperately in my attempts; I try to call Satan, crying in desperation, but he doesn't answer me in any way, he doesn't help me in any way.
This afternoon, out of desperation, I cried and had a terrible reaction, not being able to breathe out of desperation, having to scream to get air into my lungs, it was a moment of absolute desperation.
How can I start meditating again? I don't know what's happening to me.
I feel like I'm writhing naked, in front of an armed army, this was the feeling I had today in my desperation.
I don't know how to get my life back, I don't know why Satan doesn't answer me, I don't know what to do, I don't know what's happening.
I just want to be helped.

 

[Henu the Great]

If you have not realized yet I hope that you will realize now that having lofty goals with corresponding methods in use and stopping abruptly is borderline dangerous. If you would have continued, say, with 1/3 of the effort instead of quitting, you would be in a much more manageable situation right now. A lesson learned, hopefully.

How to get out of this situation, you wonder? You would have to restart from level one, and gradually build yourself up again pulling yourself higher and higher as you move forward. Starting from the very basics with a small amount of things to do, but doing them every day. It does not matter if is only ten or fifteen minutes today as long as you keep building and maintaining the momentum every day.

 

[Sarramixa]

I suffer from this also, not so much desesperate. thank u henu the great is a very good advice, i notice That i have pass a point in meditations before i wasnt able to do so. Many Times i started and then i wasnt doing the void meditation and ended up distracting me from the work, i wish i have started early and consistently but i failed many Times, better for myself and this guy also learn the lesson and do right what have been done wrong. I wish to myself development and progress and to you also, Forever.
Hail satan!