Question #1949: How can I solve my psychological problems caused by lack of understanding and stupidity?

[AskSatanOperator]

Estimately one and a half year ago I'be became very interested and immersed in Astrology, I interpreted my Natal Chart as well as interpreted my Solar and Lunar return charts. I was, and I still am on a beginner level, my source of information being the offical Joy of Satan page, as well as these forums, because I don't trust outside sources. However, when I interpreted my Solar Return for this year I seen some possibly malicious degrees and aspects, upon checking my Lunar Returns I discovered the same, throught most of them. I became extremely anxious and fearful about it, I'm especially concerned about a possible connection between my Solar Return and one of the Lunar Return charts. Both of them will be in an exact axis flip (7th and 10th house flipped compared to birth chart), while having a personal planet on 9 degree Pisces with several other planets being on late degrees. The position of the other planets are alerting aswell, but due to safety reasons I would like to not share too much information. I have several negative charts beside this one aswell, in one of them my Ruler will be on 9th degrees of Pisces, however without the axis flip. Due to all of this I've been having panic attacks regularly, anxiety, having problems sleeping, etc. There were times where I experienced these things everyday, without missing a beat. I'm mentally exhausted and tired because of the constant panic and fear, and I'm totally lost on what should I do about it. There are times where I'm totally fine for a few days, then everything returns, starting over again. My current daily routine is one deep aura cleaning with Raum mantra, one regular aura cleaning, two AoP with Algiz, two Returning Curses 1 & 2, and two Hatha Yoga. All of this is spread throught the day into morning and night routine. These meditations are working a 100% without a doubt, however everytime my stress levels increases even a tiny bit my psychological problems return once again. I think the root of my problems is somewhere within me, my mindset and stupidity is what causes it. I fear death, especially death by violent means, I fear from psychical pain and suffering. I don't want to die yet, even the thought of it makes my skin crawl. I went throught numerous post and sermons, and I understand the fact that fear has absolutely no place in Satanism, and a Satanist musn't fear death because our souls are protected even after passing away. But my brain just throws out every logic and reasoning right away when I experiece fear. It's a bittersweet fact, but in the last 6 months I already had numerous Lunar Returns with bad positionings, aspects and degrees. I came out completely unharmed, beside these psychological stuffs. The events portrayed in these charts did manifest, but to a much lesser extent than I expected and interpreted, and I experienced no long-term concequences or harm from them. Also, I know that the Gods are helping me and standing beside me in these times. There were a few occasions when I requested help directing the already raised energy during meditations, because I had trouble concentrating and visualising, and they helped me every single time. The logical side of me clearly says that if I survived for so long without any harm I don't need to worry about what comes next, because I'II get over it anyways, just like I did previously. However, my brain just completely forgets these things when I have fears/panic and only concentrates on the negative stuffs.
At this point I'm willing to try anything to get rid of the fear and panic attacks. Luckily I have the free time to modify and add more meditations or workings to my daily routine if needed. I would like to ask for advice on what should I do. If possible I would ask for affirmations aswell, because I have no idea which affirmations I need to effectively solve this. Keep in my that I'm on a beginner level, so it's not really possible for me to do Squares or Free the Soul workings due to their strong effects on the soul. Of course I'm willing to try them, if it they're safe for me to do without overworking my soul. Thank you in advance.
Hail Satan!

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

The fact that you got through the transits you describe shows you have a degree of spiritual power and competency, which is expected if you are doing well with the routine you have.

Yes, we should try to advance past our fears, but everyone will have these somewhere on their chart. Becoming fearless is part of our path, not something we start with. You should not view yourself as like personally broken or something, as the state of our soul and its instincts will override our logic.

You say "Keep in my that I'm on a beginner level, so it's not really possible for me to do Squares or Free the Soul workings due to their strong effects on the soul.", but I don't think this applies to you any more, if you are keeping up a decent routine.

Generally, you want to focus on your fire energies, but also your social perceptions, with a good rune for this being Wunjo. I say this because Pisces at 9 degrees has themes of victimization, so I think there is a social component to how you may feel unsafe. Otherwise, Berkano could also work, as it instills comfort and safety from a feminine, emotional angle.

As the Sun in Leo approaches, you can plan a working with the Surya mantra. As fear pertains to bravery, it could be a good idea to incorporate Martian energies, as well, such as in a working with Saulo and Thurisaz. Due to the power of Sun Squares, you might not want to miss out on the opportunity.

From the above, you can see that there are multiple different choices here. You can plan two separate workings, one from each of the above paragraphs, or you can combine them into something like Saulo and Wunjo.

As for affirmations, don't you already have a mental conception of what you wish to solve? Therefore, you could say something like "This energy has permanently improved my feelings of confidence and safety, in a positive way for me."

The above is subject to change based on what energies you use, or how you may want to mentally envision the transformation taking place.