Question #1138: Am I wrong for wanting to be more kinder to myself? Should I just toughen it through?

[AskSatanOperator]

So I'm doing 10 Meditations a day, I start with an F-RTR, or I clean my Aura and chakras first and then do Aura of Protection and then do it, then after meditations I do the current ritual schedule and I try my best to do translations too, but certain days I get busy so I don't have time.
So in total, if you add the F-RTR, rituals and translations, in total I'm doing 15 things.

to do all of my meditations, if I'm not in a rush, I take close to 3 hours if not more, then add the F-RTR and the schedule, so roughly 4-5 hours. It doesn't seem like a lot, but I just feel like all I do is meditate (schedule included) and sleep.

Today I went past the nagging voice and did something I wanted, it felt great, but I couldn't fully relax because I'm worried I'm upsetting the Gods..

I know I can post on the forums, but I really want to keep my anonymity for this matter...

Do you think I can have fun? I feel a little drained. Not from meditations, but from a lack of not doing what I'd like.
Can it be due to the fact that I have Saturn, Retrograde, as my main chart ruler? Retrograde Saturn people don't know when to put limits for themselves, but if one were to look at my chart, they'd see that I tend to think there's more limits on me than not.

Is this what's causing it? Please tell me. Should I just focus solely on meditations and try to toughen past the cravings of fun and whatnot?
I do feel like it's taking a mental toll on me, but I just want to know..

I know that SS is a balance between Physical and Spiritual, but I just gotta know if you should just focus on meditations?

 

[Power of Justice [JG]]

Depriving yourself of your desires or interests is not healthy. The Gods are happy and appreciate when we go the extra mile and really put in good work, but doing so for incredible lengths of time without any time to unwind will only lead to burnout and an inability to do anything.

There is no easy solution, I know, as I have a packed schedule as well. In my case, as my devotion grew, my interests changed, from videogames and other entertainment to more SS-oriented activities. I still find some time in my days to do something fun, and I reward myself with that, knowing that I do good work. I advise you to do the same.

 

[Shadowcat]

Self-love and care must come first and foremost because no one will do it for you the way you can. Find a balance between work and relaxation. Fun is essential for your mental health and even intellectual stimulation and can help with learning and retaining things. If you burnout you are going to have a bad time.

 

[HPS Lydia]

I was burned out for years and it negatively affected every aspect of my life. I was not able to be the best version of myself, because I was trying too hard to advance, and so I was not able to get correct guidance from the Gods. Ironic, isn't it?

Chill, relax, have fun, enjoy life. We are still developing and evolving.

 

[BlackOnyx8 [JG]]

" post_id=437592 time=1681985463 user_id=57]
I was burned out for years and it negatively affected every aspect of my life. I was not able to be the best version of myself, because I was trying too hard to advance, and so I was not able to get correct guidance from the Gods. Ironic, isn't it?

Chill, relax, have fun, enjoy life. We are still developing and evolving.

How did you achieve that balance? Was it the ability to have more free time to focus on yourself? I've learned to recognize my actual limits and I find myself always on the edge or slightly surpassing them. This enables me to continue pushing in all aspects of life without completely burning out, but it does result in significant fatigue. While I can maintain this approach until my overall situation improves, I'm aware that it's unhealthy, particularly with regards to sleep deprivation.

 

[HPS Lydia]

" post_id=437592 time=1681985463 user_id=57]
I was burned out for years and it negatively affected every aspect of my life. I was not able to be the best version of myself, because I was trying too hard to advance, and so I was not able to get correct guidance from the Gods. Ironic, isn't it?

Chill, relax, have fun, enjoy life. We are still developing and evolving.

How did you achieve that balance? Was it the ability to have more free time to focus on yourself? I've learned to recognize my actual limits and I find myself always on the edge or slightly surpassing them. This enables me to continue pushing in all aspects of life without completely burning out, but it does result in significant fatigue. While I can maintain this approach until my overall situation improves, I'm aware that it's unhealthy, particularly with regards to sleep deprivation.

I had to quit astrology, and I quit emails for a while. I was spending 2 hours a day on emails, many of whom were newbies who needed to read the JoS. It was pointed out to me that I am not an answering service, that people need to take the steps to advance, themselves. (I went all alone my first months, no forums/groups, and when I joined the groups after 3 months, I was well-versed in the JoS.)

I was also burned out from never taking set days off, not having "office hours" or anything.

I also realized advancement is not all about chakra work high reps. The mind needs to advance, and other areas, not just chakra work. Cutting back on reps breathed fresh air into me, it felt like.

Taking time for self-care is also essential.

 

[BlackOnyx8 [JG]]

" post_id=437597 time=1681987131 user_id=57]

I appreciate your insight and will take steps to improve my free time.

 

[Karnonnos]

As Lydia said you need a balance. Isolating yourself also won't do you any favors.

HPS Maxine also emphasised the fact many times that one actually needs to live in the world and basically have a life to ascend to higher levels spiritually. All 12 Houses of the Chart need attention. Living like a monk doesn't lead to anywhere.

 

[HPS Lydia]

HPS Maxine also emphasised the fact many times that one actually needs to live in the world and basically have a life to ascend to higher levels spiritually. All 12 Houses of the Chart need attention. Living like a monk doesn't lead to anywhere.

This is very true. We need to grow and expand as individuals, and have positive and enjoyable life experiences