It's time for me to take the step.

[Ardgion]

Dear brothers and sisters. First of all Happy Yuletide to everyone!

Now, it has come to my mind about my overall experience and progress in the path of SS.

The reason why I am writing this quite lengthy topic is because Jule is closing on us and the importance of Satan's Day, and I thought, because yesterday was my birthday I shall spend some time for myself so to say and go quickly throught my journey that I had so far being on this path.

When I discovered JoS website, I started reading and eventually joined the old Yahoo groups right before they were shut down and that is when my journey started. So I am dedicated for about 4 years now and know Jos for about 6 years.

Before starting, I just have to say that throughout all these years I have been slacking off on my spiritual progress and never really could meditate daily for more than a month, the only exception being when I did 40 day meditation program.
Other times have always been meditating on and off for few times and then "taking a break" so to speak.
I have bookmarked so many helpful topics but never really apllied any of the help to use. The school, then work and lack of motivation really kept me back but now this is from when I am considering taking this seriously.

The first thing that I would love to clear about my life is to look into my natal chart, learn my strengths and weaknesses and start to improve on that.
The thing is, being in HPS Lydia's queue for almost 4 years and after she resigned and now being in JG BlackDragon666's queue for almost a year (last reply i got from him was over half a year ago, I know people are busy with real life and that's understandable), I feel like something just isn't letting me know about my chart. Apologies for that, I am just saying what I feel.
Now before people start commenting why don't I learn to read chart myself, well I will have to explain that for the past few years for some unknown reason to me, it has become very difficult for me to study and learn, I forget things like a minute after I read it and it's all just demotivating for me to even learn something.

The another reason I want to understand my chart quickly is I have a lot of health problems (skin issues, dry eyes, easily get stressed, being horny all the time) like having a lot of back acne really makes me embarrassed to even go to a beach or to a public pool. Its all the things that I have to deal with daily and somehow I got used to it but I want to change.

And not to mention ( I hate mentioning it again because I was scared to write about it last time) the topic I wrote when I was attracted to young kids etc, well I didn't do much about it and it just turned into a habit...
And after I watch it and masturbated, I feel so disgusted at myself I want to hurt myself so badly.
I deeply apologise here to everyone who tried to help in that topic for my ignorance and I can safely say that I have deleted all my apps and browsers on which I would usually go and watch my daily porn.
Now for 4 days I am not thinking about porn, the thoughts come but I try my best to avoid them.
I know some people won't like this but I am giving the NOFAP thing a go. For the past 10 or so years, since my early teens, I have been masturbating daily, sometimes multiple times a day and this had to stop.
I heard of the benefits from NOFAP and I want to give it a go but I also know about the benefits from orgasm in the spirituality.
I will try and find the balance between the two.

Now for something different, I loved drawing since being a kid. Art is something I consider doing as a full-time job and doing it freelance because then I can be my own boss and I can also focus more on meditations and workings.
Also after fully developing my art skills I would love to one day show my appreciation to Gods and even the members here in the forms of art.
I do also believe there are some Demons that are specifically for arts but I am not open enough to hear their guidance so that will have to wait.


I do believe this is all I wanted to write about.
I never really liked long topics and I am not much of a writer but I believe I wrote it so everyone can understand.
Apologise once again for this long topic and I really, really apologise for my ignorance for the help I received in the past but not putting it to use.

So my last question, I would like to know if someone knows what's with BlackDragon666?
And how to boost my art motivation so I can quit the daily job that take almost 2/3 of my day and have barely any time for meditations.

I would also, if everyone is okay with this, to keep updating this topic as I progress in this path so that somewhere, hopefully, someone who is also struggling similarly, reads this and sees that everything is possible and that in order to take the step and improve, there are some things that have to change.
There will be struggle, but in the end, we never walk alone. Gods are always watching over us!

Hail Satan and Hail all the Gods and Goddesses!

 

[AFODO]

A lot of people go down the hole of watching too much porn, and than after a while, watching even more absurd porn because the 'normal' porn is not satisfying anymore. The only way out is strong will, cleaning, and freeing working(s). I also have a bunch of negative karma regarding sexual things, so I can understand.

When doing something daily for a long time, it becomes a part of you no matter what. I can totally promise that after at least a half year of constant meditating will make it a part of you which you can't live without, after a point, you will meditate regardless, because that's what you are used to.

It's always better later than never. You may decide to get into meditating constantly, in light of Yule.

 

[Henu the Great]

...
The another reason I want to understand my chart quickly is I have a lot of health problems (skin issues, dry eyes, easily get stressed, being horny all the time) like having a lot of back acne really makes me embarrassed to even go to a beach or to a public pool. Its all the things that I have to deal with daily and somehow I got used to it but I want to change.

Are you already doing yoga on a regular basis? If not, then start doing it as it will help with health issues and burns and fixes negative karma. When I started on this path I had a similar problem with my back, but it got fixed just by doing yoga. No health workings, nothing else, but just an increased flow of bioelectricity that fixed it.

It will also help with other issues you are having. Give it a go!

And how to boost my art motivation so I can quit the daily job that take almost 2/3 of my day and have barely any time for meditations.

To increase your drive and motivation use solar and martian types of energies. Like with the runes Sowilo and Thurisaz, respectively. Or use planetary mantras when your soul is clean and open enough. Also, the rune Nauthiz is a safe method for invoking Saturnian type of energy to help with discipline.

 

[Ardgion]

Thank you AFODO and Henu!
I am in process of making a full meditation plan where I will try and fit everything I do in my day plus meditations to have more organized time and I will start over again on 1st of next year so I can easily keep track of things and take notes.

To reply Henu: Yes, I was doing yoga for quite a while, both kundalini and hatha per day for over a month and then I started slacking again. But I don't think there were any results in form of my health or skin improvements. I do have a lot of inflammation problems and I feel very warm inside my body most of time.

I will try something called "raw food diet".
I have the book purchased from an author that explains how beneficial raw food is for the overall health so I will give it a go, plus, I'm in their group and there are people constantly showing pictures of how it helped them. Unfortunately I do not have many other options left.

As for the motivation, I will try a working for discipline and see how it goes, together with daily affirmations because I heard they help with motivation.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

The another reason I want to understand my chart quickly is I have a lot of health problems (skin issues, dry eyes, easily get stressed, being horny all the time) like having a lot of back acne really makes me embarrassed to even go to a beach or to a public pool. Its all the things that I have to deal with daily and somehow I got used to it but I want to change.

Just writing briefly to say that all of these symptoms correlate with yin deficiency and subsequent pathological heat development in the body, likely due to excessive masturbation.

Semen is a yin-based fluid; drawn from the essence of the body, being the male seed. It is replaced by Mars, supported likely by the Moon and other yin aspects of us, all fueled by the power of our natal Sun. By excessively depleting this, you are imbalancing the body by creating a deficiency of yin, which results in symptoms relevant to that, like dryness and having a harder time regulating your stress or self.

You can use acupoints like Spleen 6 to restore this, although make sure you also recover your yang energy as well, such as through yoga or the breath of fire.

Don't do a raw food diet because most people who write of these diets don't understand holistic theories of diet or energy. In short, raw food will cause your digestive system to work much harder to process everything, leading to more weakness.

Your inflammation is not caused necessarily by toxins or whatever the raw food diet is attempting to solve, plus the prescribed solution is overkill in regards to adopting a "cooling" diet. Eating cooked veggies would help restore your yin balance, as well as cooked white fish, without taxing the digestive system. These are just a few examples.

Lastly, as this is a yin problem, raise lunar energy and program it to, in a fully positive way, cool and hydrate your body. Don't try to "shove" the energy into specific spots, but just focus on the overall effect on the body. This should give very quick results.

 

[Henu the Great]

To reply Henu: Yes, I was doing yoga for quite a while, both kundalini and hatha per day for over a month and then I started slacking again. But I don't think there were any results in form of my health or skin improvements. I do have a lot of inflammation problems and I feel very warm inside my body most of time.

A month is a very short time for the body to heal from something that has been occuring for what I take years. Keep doing it continuously, and perhaps around six months to twelve months you will start to see permanent signs of healing given that other lifestyle factors support this process.

Keeping track of progress is very important and I wholeheartedly recommend to do it.

 

[Ardgion]

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The another reason I want to understand my chart quickly is I have a lot of health problems (skin issues, dry eyes, easily get stressed, being horny all the time) like having a lot of back acne really makes me embarrassed to even go to a beach or to a public pool. Its all the things that I have to deal with daily and somehow I got used to it but I want to change.

You can use acupoints like Spleen 6 to restore this, although make sure you also recover your yang energy as well, such as through yoga or the breath of fire.

Lastly, as this is a yin problem, raise lunar energy and program it to, in a fully positive way, cool and hydrate your body. Don't try to "shove" the energy into specific spots, but just focus on the overall effect on the body. This should give very quick results.

Noted! I just have a question on how often I should do the Spleen 6? Is it something I can do daily before sleep or maybe something that should be done once or twice a week, I couldn't find any side effects about it online.

Also apologies on such a newbie question but can you explain shortly or point to links that explain lunar energies?
I searched JoS website and forums but it yielded very little results in explanations.