I need your help, Joy of Satan.

[Chaosengel]

I understand that nobody owes me anything not even Satan. Why would Satan owe me something when I cant even accept him in my heart. I simply cant. My head is poisoned. I just cant "kneel". I tried for so long... My ego is in the way always. I wanna get rid off my ego just throw it away but its always here it never goes away. It says that I cant kneel. I try to put Satan or other divine entities over myself but it never works. I try to kneel but I cant its like im paralyzed. Is it good or bad? Who knows all I know is that I cant do it even if I try. I do not see myself as a god or king or whatever. In fact I see myself as little. Often I just stand and look up the sky and think about how insignificant my existence is. Then at the same time its fine because that makes me feel like nobody owes me anything but I do not owe anything to anyone. I can be free with my little self even though it feels lonely sometimes.

I need your help. I have no energy or will left to even get to the point to improve myself. I wanna do the rituals that have been suggested to me but I cant fully fulfill them I have no will no soul to do it. I need life power... I have depression but I dont wanna take medicaments I wanna get rid off depression naturally. I wanna do it. But I need guidance... I am so vulnerable as well others words can ruin my day easily. I am so vulnerable its insane. I am going to Turkey soon for holiday and everybody that has visited Islamic Countries knows that every morning the mosques do prayers and you can hear them all over the places. I need protection against that. I am going next week so I really need your help I need to be prepared. And I dont wanna have the feeling that I am having a fight every morning. I cant live like that.

Help me gain more energy and life power and be healed and protected please. Appreacite you.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

....

Everyone has potential, even if it takes years for one's gifts to become clear or become honed. The dedication to Satan is the first step in a relationship which spans centuries or more, and within this period you will make rapid progress on yourself. Therefore, do not worry about what you offer now, as long as you continue to make an effort to grow, with the provided tools.

You appear to have an overabundance of water or other yin energy in your soul, making you feel weak and susceptible to others. This also gives a lack of self-esteem. Basically, you are being way too hard on yourself, and therefore your own perception are crushing you.

The main thing you need to focus on is therefore fire, which defines life force, and to do this you would breath in the power of the Sun, or chant mantras related to this, such as Sowilo, Surya, or Thurisaz. You would want to do more physical activity, such as the Tibetan 5 Rites or Breath of Fire activity. Focus on your lower chakras, keeping them clean and empowered.

To support this increase in your personal fire, you need to be doing your meditations, starting with the 40 day routine. I believe this was linked to you before.

In regards to protection, you clean negative energies off your soul, preventing anything negative from manifesting. In combination to this, you create defensive energies around your soul, which further shield it. This is the aura of protection, which can be done with inhaled energy, or you can vibrate Algiz or other runes many times for this.

I believe this covers your concerns, although you may have more specific questions.