About believing that you could Jewish. An indepth analysis of my own struggle.

[Bravera]

I had dedicated close to 8 years ago.
From the 2nd year, I was told by my older sister, that her Grandmother is Jewish.

And so the seed was planted, how often did I look into the mirror and feel frustration that perhaps it might be true. Already I had feelings that I was ugly and unattractive. This only compounded and ate away at my confidence.

I started to remember the times that I was bored out of my mind, as a child, sitting in church, dreaming up some very homicidal thoughts, surely implanted from the enemies book of death and curses.

This began to make me think, maybe it's true, if I could desire torturing someone?

Back then, I struggled massively with being extremely attracted to women, while also being unable to attract a women. Combined with my own ignorance of what it means to be a real Man(SS).
I did fall into watching gross pornographic material.
This also compounded my beliefs.

I did not like to work, I had a weird belief that, I didn't want to be a "slave", not terribly inaccurate but nonetheless one of the worst concepts I had.
And so there was another checkmate the enemy had attempted to place me into.

I had sent messages in the forum as to Maxine, saying I would kill myself if I was in fact Jewish.. I had been banned without any information.

It was a terrible feeling, to believe that Maxine had been the one to ban me. HP Cobra has let me known now that it was Magepoop who had banned me.

Surely the God's did see and know my struggle, Surely they would know I would even struggle for years to find the truth. But they made sure I fought through it, grew in my meditations, my daily struggle to be a Man and build a strong family. To do my RTRs, to study and communicate on the forums.

This has been the scariest and most complicated attack the enemy has made against me.
I did a freeing the soul working to eliminate any influence the enemy has on me. And for the most part I have never had to deal directly with the enemy or their attacks.+

I have been confident for over a year that I am not Jewish and it was difficult for me to make this post in the past, but HP Cobra did ask me to share this.

LOOK TO YOUR CHILDHOOD, SPENDING TIME WITH YOUR FRIENDS OR SIBLINGS OR MOTHER OR FATHER. THIS IS PERHAPS THE TRUEST FORM OF WHO YOU ARE. I HOPE YOU CAN FIND YOUR OWN PURITY.

Now, I'm honestly obsessed with the destruction of my enemy. I like to imagine at work that I am a Blacksmith forging weapons for humanity. And in fact this is the truth. By providing for my own independence and wealth, I have made it possible for me to complete RTRs with almost 0% complications.

Now when I look in the mirror, I am honored to have been so dedicated to honoring my forefathers, to building a Man, a Warrior, a Hero and soon to be Champion. I am a rolemodel for my community, and by necessity I must learn to be a Leader.

 

[CaspianTheDreamer]

My childhood was, for the most part, clouded with extreme emotional suffering and abuse. I was always scared by everything as a kid. I was extremely sensitive too, and maybe still am.

I do not, for one, like to remember anything from my childhood. If one day I have the opportunity to completely erase my memories, I would.

But as for the "Am I jewish?" attack... I believe another post was made for this as well and I'm sure you have seen it.

But for all here who think they are jewish, if you truly fear being jewish and you know deep down it is wrong to be a jew, then 90 percent chance you are not one. If you have been doing RTRs for the past month or weeks and you haven't experienced great loss or damage of any kind, then congratulations, you are not a jewish vermin.

Same goes for any dedicated person who has interest and passion for helping JoS and fulfilling the tasks given to us by the gods.