Satan does not
hate cowards, he understands fully any fears or discomforts one may feel. He is simply strong with and proud of those who push to overcome said fears. He encourages us to grow past what hinders us so that we may better our lives and work to improve ourselves. He absolutely does not force anyone to do anything and he certainly has never forced any of us to dedicate to him, he believes in us having free will and doesn't want slavish worship like the enemy xian 'god' whom doesn't even exist.
When I was new I too was fearful of certain things when exploring the JoS, I was worried that Satan wasn't actually nice or that he was someone demanding or suffocatingly strict, these fears stemmed from the previous xian life I lived as a kid. The more I read and researched though, the more I realized that he wasn't like this at all. I'm going on 9 years now as a member of his family where I've spent countless hours every day every year to work on his behalf and I can tell you straight from my own experiences that he is more like a loving father that understands when his children make mistakes and that he truly cares about us like a true father would.
He however does not always coddle us as he desires for us to 'grow up' and learn to become independent and strong, but over the years he has shown me personally that he truly does love us and has shown me several signs of this, from seeing things in my day to day life that are shaped like his sigil, to a series of 'coincidental' things shaped like hearts 7 times in the course of just 20 minutes. He is not one to heartlessly judge us as part of his family as he encourages individuality and uniqueness. Just like you I too was drawn to pagan and Satanic things and believed that demons were simply misunderstood. Most of us who are drawn to Satan have had something to do with him in a past life that connects us.
You do not have to dedicate yourself to Satan immediately, he understands if you decide to wait and respects whatever decision you make. It took me 1 whole year before I did the dedication but it was the best decision I had ever made, it was like a sense of inner peace had nestled itself into my very soul. I will never forget that feeling. All the dedication ritual does is renounce all the false garbage you had been taught before, all the lies and manipulation. And all it basically is is a formal written 'terms and conditions' paper where you simply accept and know that Satan is the true god of humanity. The blood is just so that your soul is connected to this acknowledgement so that your soul may be officially written as 'under the protection of Satan' and so your soul can be free from the enemy 'matrix'.
The dedication is not some 'death pact' like the enemy keeps lying about just to make people afraid, and nothing will be forced upon you after finishing the dedication. It is however our obligation to continue following down the path of Satan and to do some form of work on his behalf as he is responsible for our existence, free will and potential. Whether you partake in direct spiritual warfare, help other members learn and advance, spread the truth online (and anonymously), research in Satan's Library
or simply work on advancing your own soul through meditation, it is simply fair to give back in some way. All the members that have done the dedication ritual should however be doing at least 1 RTR
a day, but it is preferable that you learn as much as you can first and do what you feel is comfortable when first starting out.
I can guide you to where you can start working on advancing your spiritual capabilities and strengthening your soul
, you should know though, only those of us who have done the dedication ritual will have Satan's full protection from enemy attacks on the astral. I've gone a while in my first year advancing without yet being dedicated and I can assure you the enemy will attack you in all kinds of ways. From sudden unexpected depression or sadness, to unfortunate events occurring around you, to negative thoughts and feelings of dread, terrifying thoughts coming 'out of nowhere', hell the enemy tried full force for an entire month once trying to get me to kill myself through suicidal thoughts (I abhor suicide and am most certainly not a suicidal individual, it was a spiritual attack) I furiously cleaned my aura
and built my aura of protection
throughout that entire month to the point they eventually gave up.
That's just a few kinds of attacks you may receive without proper protection. The enemy will do whatever they can to deter you from this path, because this path means personal strength and us gaining the capability to fight back and protect ourselves, which the enemy obviously does not want us to have.
Our perseverance, endurance and determination is what differentiates us from the sheeple that blindly go where the enemy leads - to the destruction of our own existence. We are meant to become gods, not a food source.