After reading all of this post and the comments, I have a few things to say. What I am about to write does not in any way show the full extent of what I feel in my heart, not only I suck in communication in general (working on it), but this is also not my main language. But I just want to say I am eternally grateful for the outstanding work the Clergy have been doing for all of this time. I have mixed feelings right now, on one hand I'm sad we are probably not gonna hear from HPS Maxine anytime soon, I will miss her very very much, on the other hand I'm really happy for her. I hope she has achieved what I think she did.
I trust HP Cobra when he says she's fine, and that's enough for me. I wish I would know the details, but it's none of my business, I suppose, and more important, it's none of the enemys business. I wish her all the best. I will forever be in debt and gratitude, and will never forget what she has done for all of us without ever asking for anything in return. And I hope to meet her some day, some how, and personally thank her for all that she has done.
I can't even begin to fathom all of the work she had done to gather all of this knowledge that I have been taking for granted. This post has been a reality check for me as well. For the past month I have been buying used books and building myself a physical Satanic library, useful books on spirituality are hard to find, so far I only have a bunch of historical books, and from what I read so far (haven't read most of them yet, as I also have a lot of JoS info to catch up to), a lot of knowledge, most of it had been destroyed already, also some stuff was never made public to begin with, was kept in the hands of those who initially found it, which I might assume - jews, who knows what we might have missed, that said I couldn't even begin to imagine what she must have gone through without ever giving up, to gather, process and interpret, as well as testing the knowledge of all of the thousands of books out there, I am eternally grateful for all of this - as this changed my life for ever. It's absolutely amazing how she could bring all of this knowledge together. I can't even begin to imagine.
She broke the spell for me and indeed she was right all those years ago, when she said once you break the Jewish spell you can never go back to it.
I feel we're running out of time and I have yet so much to advance, so much to read and to learn, and most importantly get back on my feet and start fighting in this war.
I can't stop feeling guilty for not being able to comprehend the full extent of this all. It took me more than a decade to be where I am now, and so far, at the very basic level. Took many attempts on my end to be here again. And there were times I gave up on Satan and the Gods, I wish I had not, I wish I had an history like that of Maxine and Cobra, but I did what I did. But I am here now, and what I am today, I can only thank Satan, the Gods and the Joy of Satan Clergy. Regardless, my mind was shaped by this experience. And sharpened to an extent I have never yet known before. I write this in tears as I know in my heart that this is the ultimate truth, the true path, and there are no words on any language that could possibly explain how grateful I am right now. I am very sorry I took this for granted. And did not treat the people and the information with the well deserved respect. As in not properly applying this knowledge. This is very serious. And I see it now more clearly than ever. I know I've said this in other posts, but reading this again, it just increases this feeling.
It's been almost 3 months since I came back to the JoS after being asleep for years, and even though I've reached inner knowledge I had not yet had before, that also helped me push forward and helped me keep with my consistent meditations, I had been having doubts the last couple of days - not doubting the Gods do exist, but doubting my own self and that they cared for me, considering what I had done in the past, and though the signs Satan is on my side were very blatant, I couldn't stop feeling like that. Reading another post by HP Cobra, the other day saying how he never gave up, I thought - I wish I could be like that, lately I've been feeling as if I'm just waiting for the next disaster in my life to give up. Thinking I might not be able to handle it. Today I was brought to this post. Which in it self answered my questions. The whole post by High Priest Hooded Cobra, as well as reading all of the experiences of our Brothers and Sisters, it was all very enlightening and motivational to never give up. I know I have a long path to walk, but I know now in my heart that I will succeed.
High Priest Hooded Cobra, I've always had you in great esteem throughout the years. Your words always touched me, and I have no doubt that you are the right man to carry this mission. Otherwise you wouldn't be here in the first place. You wouldn't have survived the trials that I'm sure you were put through, in ways that I can't even fathom.
Thank you for providing the information about High Priestess Maxine. I know you said more than you should even though it looks like little information. I wish you the best. It's an honor to fight under your command. I have no doubt we will win this war under your guidance.
On a last note, reading the posts I noticed there's another person named Invictus, we are not the same, as everyone might have guessed. My bad, I didn't notice when I made this account. This sucks. I wish I could change it but it is what it is.
Anyway, thank you all, I have grown immensely today.
Hail Satan!!
![Blitzkreig [JG]](/data/avatars/m/21/21286.jpg?1704756304){kind=avatar}
![NakedPluto [JG]](/data/avatars/m/21/21004.jpg?1712372085){kind=avatar}
![Power of Justice [JG]](/data/avatars/m/21/21556.jpg?1705626106){kind=avatar}
